The Perpetual Misfit

The Sounds of Music

2011-06-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

Funny, its not until I stepped out of India when I realized two things:

1) The music repository that we have, on average, is huge.

2) Our music classification, if we include the likes of 'movie' music, is rather odd.

Let me elaborate on the first, first. The overarching circle here is the Hindi Movie Industry music (seriously, I am starting to find the 'wood' affiliation a bit annoying. Bolly, Tolly, Molly? What are they? Bimbos in the villains lair? I insist on Hindi film industry). Mom was and is an avid listener and makes bashful claims that my name was inspired by one such song. With a name that translates to 'dream' thats pretty much any song between 1977 and 1986. Then comes the state-based affiliation (Tamil, as it would be for us). For the longest time the songs were only melodious to me, the real meaning of the lyrics outside the grasp of my colloquial language skills (seriously, the lyricists sounded like they belonged to royal courts based on the songs alone). However, it was still music. Then came the influence of "English" songs which usually started with the safe 'Sound of Music' and then progressively and now embarrassingly graduated to the likes of Samantha Fox (there, i said it) and Madonna. And then comes the Tambram influence (oh yah mom. you are gonna see me use the word Tambram quite a lot here. So stop reading already). Tambram basically meant you were born with an innate affiliation to carnatic music. While the sibling wisely pointed out that most songs involved vigorous nodding and sounds but very little words, he was doomed to a summer of learning to drum the mridangam. While I can re-chant some of the songs even 20 years later, I can never tell if it came from the HMV audio tapes that we were subjected to every morning or because I liked it. So, on an average at age 5, the cross-bred AMC is exposed to 5 different types of music. Thats huge--simply because the differences are not only in language but structure and form too. Now, a quick cumulative analysis to late 1990s indicates a staggeringly large number of musical influences. (backdating it, the musical influences span decades because the Hindi movie songs of the 60s are just as relevant to my music collection as is the Elvis and the Beatles. I was not born during any of these times!).

As for my second point, the classification of the music I listen to (As 'movie' music goes) was something I definitely dwelled upon when trying to fix a Pandora station. We classify these types of music based on emotion, did you ever think about that?. A cursory look at my audio tapes of the 80s would render this:

-Old Hindi sad songs

-New Hindi sad songs

-Old Tamil happy songs

-Optimistic songs

-Romantic sad songs

-Tragedy songs

-fast songs (now its based on tempo, I presume)

-new romance

-old romance

-crazy songs (??)

-Songs about kids

-kids songs (whats the difference?)

-dad sad songs

-Relaxing songs (huh??)

-mom puja songs (This is the one me and my brother taped over with an audio version of one of our fights. Complete with sound effects of slapping and screaming. The audio footage also includes mom walking in on us and whacking our butts. No sound effects this time)

This is exactly why a Pandora won't get my music affiliations (I now have hip-hop added to the mix just incase I missed 'anger' in my emotional music repository). And my playlists will always be titled based on emotions, not music types (So Lady Gaga is going to sit next to remixed Dum Maro Dum).

Turning up the sound on 'Johhny Johhny Joker' under my 'peppy numbers' playlist.

Chronicling Surviving the Great Indian Middle Class Childhood

2011-04-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

and missing it!

I always envy those who were born in one city and lived their entire lives there. Case in point, Sunder the spousal unit. His entire life revolved around a few streets each was punctuated by a well-known or notorious panipuriwala. He has what is commonly referred to as langotiya yaars, which somewhat translates into 'underwear friends'. Its a common term to refer to teh fact that he knew his friends since they were running around in underpants. Now why this term is never used for the female population confounds me. Presumably females do not refer to anything underpantlike lest they be considered unladylike.

Anycase, I envy these purebreds. Let a chance stranger standing in line at Starbucks ask me 'where i am originally from' [possibly after I have complained the 100th time of the complexity to placing orders when all i had to say was 'coffee' where I came from]. My typical response is 'India..near Bombay to be precise'. Which worked wonderfully if the damn globalization of everything had'nt happened. Chances are 10 years back I would say Bombay and all I had to hear was how the listener's friends uncle was from Bombay and was inviting him often but said listener was worried about the heat. It made for a quick end to the conversation where I would nod head, move it sideways to indicate the foggy SF weather was no match for what mumbai heat would be like and would proceed to pick my 'coffee' and leave.

Not so now, the listener most likely has made a trip to 'Bayangalooor' twice as the head of whatever it may be in his company so wants more precision to my response. 'Pune' I would say, absolutely not expecting him to know of it [and he wouldnt]. But if he be an Indian, he would now say 'oh you must have seen how much Pune has changed now right?'. To which I politely respond that I only studied in college and worked a bit in Pune. 'So where do your parents live?'. The now famous 'Bangalore'. "oh Bangalore..do you speak Kannada?". Well, no. See my parents are originally from Chennai and they wanted to settle there but eventually moved to Bangalore because they were wrong about re-liking Chennai and son was in Bangalore. "oh. so you are a Chennaiite?' the person now asks confused. "I was born there!" i say brightly. But I basically schooled in Ooty and another town near it [Coimbatore--which you will know of only if your dad was a cotton vendor]. See why I envy those who were born and dwelled in the same city for years?

However, wherever I am supposed to be from in India, what has not changed is the uniformity to being brought up in the Great Indian Middle Class. The languages change, the cuisines change but there is a startling sameness to this sandwiched group and what it meant to me as a child. So here is my attempt to chronicle being brought up both in diversity and uniformity in the 80s, 90s in India.

Reflexing my digits to get accustomed to writing more than bullet point lists

Peps.

Making the case for mediocre experiences

2010-08-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am going through my photos from a recent summer trip to Florida and London [I know, odd combo. But we were going for muggy as the common theme for this trip]. There are 455 photos and the way it works is that I sit at my computer, filter the 455 photos to a more manageable 250 based on the variety of events and destinations and ensure it has the eye-catchability that is required of album sharing these days. And then I share a more selected few on Facebook while hosting the larger set on Picasa [which, if i am stupid enough to set on a public setting will notify everyone who is 'following' me, flattering as that may feel]. And i realize I am exhausted of superiorizing everything. And if I look at our experiences these days, it strikes me as unnaturally odd that all we seek are superlative experiences. A few samples:

-restaurant reviews are a must for dinners out.
-movie reviews are imperative and needs to impress to suck 2-3 hours of our precious time
-photos must be edited upon clicking, each pose is evaluated right after the shutter clicks to ensure it looks appealing [and if not, another go at it so that we can ensure brilliant poses and smiles].
-childrens products come with motherly seal of approval [my moms club LOVED these toys for their 22 month olds]

whatever happened to good ole mediocre experiences? you know, when you walk into a random hole in the wall and either get a surprise or a shock worth remembering? when you walk into a movie hall and watch a bad movie that you giggled all the way through in your seat coz it was SOO bad? there is a relative measure that is required to help us gauge what is truly a good experience thats memorable. Coz all we are doing is normalizing experiences otherwise, making them all labor-intensive projects even before we embark upon them [reading, comparing reviews].

I vote to make September my mediocre experience month--no reviews for any products purchased, no reviews for any restos visited and watch movies based entirely on randomly chosen traits such as 'he looks cute in the promos'.

Onwards and forward with mediocre experiences!

Here we go, a-job hunting oh!

2009-10-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

Allrighty, there is nothing that screams "I am a Bay Area native!!" better than being laid-off in a recession. Well, that and getting an iPhone within the first year of its launch. I qualify with both i guess.

After killing myself with overloaded course-work, the MBA is finally out of the way and am looking at the job market with renewed vigor [well that, and the unemployment insurance guys keep self on my toes job-applying-wise].

Recently stepped out of the warm comfort of linkedin, craigstlist and pretty-boring-hotjobs to careerbuilder.com and omg!! the spam is incredible!! I got 3 interview reuqest emails from aflac [they dont have a duck logo on their emails. strange] and a couple of pharma companies. Jeez, now clearing job-mail spam is a daily activity.

I think the key is to dedicate a couple-hours everyday for job applications and cover letters. And quality oughta win over quantity of jobs applied for. How effective are networking/mixer events for job-seekers? Not very, I hope. I mean, honestly, its a breeding ground for competitive jostling. Everyone knows everyone else is there for the job that you want. And how likely is it that a well-written resume will always lose to chirpy introductions within 30 seconds? [save me the 'two minute elevator speech' advice. I would just as easily hand over the prospective employer my twitter id].

Tweaking my resume as I type!
Peppito.

City-livin and India-cravin

2008-06-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

Both of the above would probably go hand-in-hand in NY, or perhaps San Jose. But SF is a strange beast. Its diverse as hell, and then not. Admittedly, the people diversity exists in grand abundance—I have pretty much gone most of my working life here without creating many American or Indian pals. I believe my lunch gang at one point was called the United Nations team, and rightfully so. Most people know ‘Monsoon wedding’ and ‘sarees’, so that’s something I guess. But the blurring of lines between Indian and Pakistani food gets my south Indian tummy quite disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I can eat Shalimar food oh-about-once-in-a-blue-moon and appreciate the value of the tandoori chicken in the essential food chain. But I did miss the occasional dosa or thali joint that served a few of them chaats. I mean, honestly, kulfi we have in SF but not delicious chaat?

Anyways, my preggo state must’ve trigged some serious desi strings up there. Two restaurants open this weekend [oooh and Netflix seems to be expanding its desi selection. Found out that Aamir is actually releasing in its unpirated glory on july 1st]. Amber India, long known for its afternoon buffets of repetitive but sumptuous dishes in unlimited burp-friendly glory opens in its swanky Market st. location this week. Don’t be fooled by the reviews—this resto kicks some major ass when it comes to the food and buffet. Atleast in its other locations.
Udupi Palace, lord be praised, opened its shiny temple doors this week as well. I also wonder if yelp should list ‘indian’ as a separate category—putting it in Indian/Pakistani food cat might have patrons expecting their tandoori chicken and shami kababs.

I state that life is getting better for the ‘foodwise indiverse’ desi in San Francisco, namely self. Thanks for your Middle-eastern fare and the Chinese dim-sums, I promise to try that on weekends and Friday nights but for my mid-week fix may I please have that bowl of bisibela and bagala baths?

Planning an evening of bisibela baths and kulfi on Mission
Me

140 pounds and feeling it

2008-06-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

Updates nearing end of week 30!

I officially waddle. Even in heels, and that, my friend, is no mean achievement. I envision see-saws being designed for the first time when the inventor observes a preggo woman walking in her 7th month. ‘Why, that should be a fun sport for kids’ the inventor thinks and hey presto, out comes the see-saw device which wasn’t technically patented [of course, the US wants to call it ‘teeter totter’ which is likely a better word to describe self’s gait].
In anycase, my underweight self rapidly put on the pounds in the last few months rounding it off to a perfect 140 pounds today. Yep, I count self in pounds now. That way it seems more impressive to freak over going from 138 to 140 than from 62.7 to 63.6 kilos. The tummy of course, can be moody these days, has a mind of its own and all that. I believe I sit in a chair and then my tummy sits.

The relief is immense in how preggo books refer to said ‘fetus’. There was a phase of tiny fruits and vegetables that had my diet severely restricted—honestly, how could you eat strawberries covered in chocolate if you have only read that your ‘fetus’ is the size of a ripe strawberry [after having graduated from raspberries no less]. Tadpoles and shrimps, I was quite disassociated from—I could living without eating either. More recently descriptions went beyond the food chain into grocery supplies—‘at week x, your fetus is the size of a bag of sugar’, the book happily stated. Well, I am happy to note that after spending a week existing in the size of a bag of flour, the fetus has finally transitioned to the size of a laptop screen [honestly, have they SEEN the sizes of laptop screens all over? PDAs are called laptops these days. Wouldn’t I alarm self by wondering how the growth curve is headed downwards?]. Never wished there were numbers more than when I read these weekly bulletins.

Mr.Sandman has no GPS system—sleep is officially lost. After having successfully pinched the dude awake [and then pretended that I didn’t do it] about 5 times the first night, I was desperate for new entertainment. Chatting on laptop didn’t seem fun [although a certain pal got some help on how to figure taking a stroller on Kingfisher airlines. This site provided the answer, she is on her way to Delhi now].

I am a control freak. There is actual proof of this. Number of spreadsheets in existence:
-Existing daycare list
-pediatrician recommendations from GGMG
-GGMG’s daycare list
-Baby care stuff to be bought
-Baby-shower invite list
-Home projects TBD
All I need is my GAP kids card and my SUV.

Zealously planning me-time with the help of Google calendar,

Me.

Preggo Chronicles--"Its all about being equal"

2008-06-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

Joining the mom’s groups online was more of a social experiment during my third trimester [not in manner of 'how clueless am I' but more along the lines of 'what are these groups all about?']. We managed to answer both questions though. To be fair, these groups have been helpful in making me move my butt on daycare research and such. But it also piqued my curiosity on SAHMs, WFH and FTW moms. [go figure, am not gonna provide a glossary. as yet]. The equality dynamics among newbie parents is fascinating--perception, reality and what exactly is equal and what isnt. I honestly feel that as long as there are no continuous complaints OR regrets, any model that works is good enough. There isnt really a 'right' approach [daycare versus nanny versus at-home care--they are all doable and fine depending on financial, attitudinal and environmental conditions]

In anycase, this article on NYTimes was interesting enough to make me wade through 10 pages enough to send a hurried 'you MUST read this' message to the spousal unit. Never ye mind that my 'reading material' for classes didn’t get this kinda interest, but i liked the takeaways from the article. or atleast mine. namely a) standards of home maintanance can differ widely and cause friction. b) recaliberating hours spent on tasks isnt as OCDish as it seems. and c)you can live by spreadsheets. allright, the third is my own discovery. but it fits in nicely.

S saunters in after a biz dinner in a suspiciously named restaurant in palo alto ['illusions'? Honestly? Did David Copperfield launch it?]. Plopping on the couch next to me, he glances at my laptop monitor [secretly hoping I made my next move at scrabble am sure].
Self: "did you get that mail with the nytimes article?"
Him: "when did you send it?"
Why that matters, I never did understand. Though in our 7 years together, I will come to understand that asking such a pointless question is his way of just asking for time while the slow churn of the search algorithm starts off in his head.

me: "its damn interesting" and I proceed to sell the article to the reading-averse spouse. This is tricky business, given that a) I insisted he not boot up his own laptop and (b) its late at night. I spout words like 'perfectly logical' and 'even-handed' and 'objective' till he moves a lazy eyeball towards said article.
him: "how long is it?"
"10 pages" I confess. But I quickly point out that I can read over the improtant parts so he doesn’t have to read it.

I do a marathon job of reading the article, skipping over the mushy 'how the couple met' sections with the yadda yaddas. "So!" I say. S seems to kinda like the point on different standards of home maintainance--probably hoping to point out that I was too finickly for his scavenging ways of wardrobe management.
so looks like the best way is to negotiate beforehand', I say. "negowwsheeate?" S smirks. "I think the best way is for you not to get soo finicky about tidying up" he says lazily. "but you are just appalling with your clothes' I say, already resenting his implication that my high standards will cause a hypothetical conflict in a hypothetical scenario in a few months from now when our baby shall actually be born. Yeah, i think ahead.
"well not so with the kitchen..i make sure its tidy after I cook everytime ..even before eating the meal I make" S says. I gotta agree, I am terrible in the kitchen. I chop, puree, make a mess of the counter, eat the food, blanch, make him salvage it and the rue the mess i made in the kitchen. While he chops everything into perfect pieces and takes out the trash and loads the dishwasher even before he switches off the stove. I call mine the 'chaos theory'. He calls it cluelessness. whatever.
"well maybe the trick is to divvy it up. You take care of the kitchen and I take care of tidying up" I say. It’s a long shot, I know. But he seems to like it. "yeah that makes sense". I probably got away with it for now.
I don’t know if that passes the 'equality' test--I am probably gonna be hopping around the kitchen about his oil usage and such in anycase. And hez probably gonna be mad I still havent gotten his 'pile philosophy'. But hey, we are making progress. The delivery-folllowed-by-getting-back-to-work-and-school looms ahead, and anything to make me feel more prepared is worth it.

pondering deeply while tidying up the living room,
me.

testin blogger on iPhone

2008-06-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

BabyCenter or UrbanMoms?

2008-04-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Getting the hang of preggo state in USA can be strange [I, of course, dont speak like I know what its like in India..I am guessing, less dramatic??]. Some discoveries so far in the past 5 months:

1) The Internet is a scary place.

Yep, i know. My asparagus, rice and soup comes from the Internet. Am eternally grateful and all [cleaning up my inbox to compensate for the insult]. But honestly, when am prattling on about 'consumer created content' online, and 'the voice of of the Netizens', I purely talk of rotten tomatoes and yelp. But medical madness, and the aha! moment strikes. Its much more likely scary stories get shared more than joyous ones. Which is fine if some moron found 25 rats in his room coz he assumed 'Stardust' was name of hotel with stars, not that of a seedy motel. But whoa! if you manage to walk the maze and find that your twitching toe condition during pregnancy could be because some person in Texas had the exact same condition only to discover a missing eyelash on the ultrasound, woe to the spouse. [doh.not me, my job is just to freak out and share the nauseating nervousness].

2) You need to figure out Website loyalties.

BabyCenter or Urban moms? Depends. yep, they all got discussion boards ["see my baby bumppp!!! DH is sooo sweet! I am sooo teary-eyed!!"]. But one has to have one's loyalties set straight early on. If you invest time in creating a login [Am SFDesigal, for all ye mom site hounders] and readin the umpteen discussion boards that go 'i am sooo upset..I just discovered i HATE pickles and icecream! sniff', you better pick one. I am a silent observer in both websites. And might give into urban moms if the damn site will add what is commonly known as C-O-N-T-E-N-T. Till then, am sticking to a hackneyed version of the classic 'Great Expectations' restructured for the expectant parents. Its fun, honestly. I can't picture Mrs.Havisham going 'your baby is the size of an avocado', of course. But its fun to imagine her doing so!

3) Ultrasounds or Doppler sounds dont have to make you cry.

Well, unless the doc is being pesky and takes a hellalotta time and you are umm, hungry. I broke my mom's arm during the first ultrasound. And giggled at the Doppler sound coz it sounded like kiddo was going 'bhook bhook bhook' [as in 'hunger hunger hunger' in Hindi]. I was hungry too, so there for instant bonding!

4) Pregnancy Retail industry oughta make Graduation, Wedding and other 'life event' industries beg on its knees. Literally.

It wins. Hands down. If I had to mark the revenues earned in the pregnancy/new baby industry against any other of those life event ones, it blows away the mind. I am not even talking 'do you want your ultrasound photo on a locket' knick-knacks. Yep, that means YOU babies-r-us! and YOU Motherhood Maternity!! Items purchased so far:

Preggo outfits [coz nothing fits. Am sooo jealous of preggo women in India waltzing around in Salwar Kameezes. Phruu]
Two pregnancy magazines. [here is an odd thing--these magazines KNOW the lifetime of their membership is 10 months at the most. Its like a magazine for the High School senior. Or, magazine for those with casts on legs. you get my point? wherez the REPEAT VALUE???]

and that was only in the first two months. Nothing ever since though.

5) Babies are supposedly expensive.

Or so am told by popular websites' baby expenses calculator. You going back to work and daycaring the kid? Add on a few more thousands. I figure, what the hell. If my outflow is more than 500+ every month after kiddo arrives, i might as well, you know, practice from now on right? [opening up tabs of amazon and gap.com in rapid successsion]

Breaking the expenses news gently to spouse,
Peps.

Back..what's new?

2008-04-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

Hmm..back after more than a year to blogging..yowza!! Let's see now, what changed since the last time I blogged [pulling out fingers to count]
1) Moved to San Francisco, can now officially wince when someone says 'Frisco' [you see anything about SF on this page? yep. thats the point]
2) Moved jobs. Work a block from abovesaid place in the city. Yep, yep luckyass commute n all. Yep, I can peek to see if the boss goes in before I do. Nope, I dont nap at home during lunchbreak. Jeez, isnt that what conference rooms are for?
3) Jan 1st 2008 shocker #1. Got an iPhone.
4) Jan 1st 2008 shocker #2. Got a 'yes' on a preggo test.
5) Discovery #1 of the year: Both have solid potential to eat up my time.

There, thats the status update [folding up 5 fingers now to type furiously back].

So whats the perpetual misfit sposed to blog about now? plennty of fodder for thought..pleeennttyyyy. [stacking up pregnancy magazines neatly onto one side and glancing woefully at a foggy SF evening in April when the day had 78 degree heat wave. Bah!]

Figuring out whats the electronic equivalent of chewing tip of pencil,
Peppy.
Update: Wait!! Been more than TWO years..wtf!! what was I doing not blogging for two years? getting a life or smtg?? j/k!

India Travel Thought

2006-02-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

India Travel Thoughts

Top 5 reasons one should drag family in its entirety for vacation destinations instead of lounge around at home when on India trip:

Vacation in India is never really that. You could be home all the time and still come back thankful to be back, and, well, exhausted. Add to that sitting around while the world goes on as usual for rest of the junta, brother off to work, mom visiting ill friend [who you don’t know] and back, dad’s attempts to hold on to government banks while planning his trip around which days they ARE open. Better to make everyone have a vacation no?

Most parents don’t take trips unless someone is a) marrying or b) delivered a kid or c) has bought a home. And hey, most parents would love to see the sights they hear of only from their friends or broad-minded neighbors. Granted there will be withdrawal symptoms from mailman fights, but mentions of renewed energy and promises of curd rice availability everywhere should do the trick

Lets admit it, there is NOTHING one can take from here that they wont get a better form of, in India. Sponsor parents’ trip instead—they will probably even learn to make the trip sound cooler than a “oh this? My daughter got it from the U.S”

You will never come back from India plumper this way—granted there will be atleast one bout of stomach issues if you plan to travel 60% of the time in India, within India. But hey, stomach issues=cant eat. Cant eat=cant even see food. Cant even see food=lassi and lemon juice diet for two days. Which equates to slender you and well-rested tummy. It adds up ya know!

Moms can never make all that they want to. It’s a fact of life. But this way, they get the break they so deserve from kitchen duties. And hey, nobody says “so does your daughter cook well?” and expect a demo. Wheee!!

Speaking of India trips, my next one will be aimed at Corbett National Park. I would personally prefer to go to good ole Mudumalai [spent a number of childhood summers there] but am intrigued by the tourism developments within India. They, frankly, blew my mind away. Recent Rajasthan trip was solid proof—Fantastic highways and reliance sponsored restrooms on the highways made for one helluva comfortable trip. Kerala, no less [yeah yeah, I hear your ‘commercialization!!” screams. But face it, if done well, tourism industry DOES have a lot to offer to the state in general]

Airports excepted—Man, for all the fantastic journeys I had on this trip [I did flights, auto and trains during the trip] the airport at Mumbai on the way out was fantastically, unbelievably horrible. As it is, I HATE the Mumbai international airport. One just needs to see how the Jet terminal in the domestic terminal is, to realize how much worse the international airport is [The Jet terminal is very much like the SFO airport actually]. After toiling hours to stand in line and get baggage checked in, my visit to the restroom was the last straw. Sleeping on the floors, near the restroom entrance AND near the washbasin, were the cleaning ladies. Self literally had to ask them to wake up/move to inch my way to the washbasin. To that end, am hoping the airport revamp does some good, inspite of all the controversies.

Belated India travelogue,
Peps

The Stories Hallmark Will Never Know

2006-02-01T16:25:00.000-08:00

Nope. Archies and Hallmark didnt pay me for this [heh heh]. Well, I figured, its February,season to mourn St.Valentine’s death [as well as P.G.Wodehouse’s death on the same day]..might as well do that by writing [in PGW’s memory] about luv [no no, not ram’s son..LOVE as in the stuff St.Valentine apparently pushed to the world]

So here is the first of a few stories for the season—Call it what you will..

Theirs wasnt even a real love story to begin with. Hell, they didnt even have anything much in common. His parents tragically died when he was four. Her dad remarried and produced a home full of kids [14 at last count]. He was adopted by a kind relative who raised him as his own. Her dad probably doesnt even remember her name. He was handsome as hell, they said. She was ordinary-looking, they whispered [“Tough to find a groom for her” the father boomed the few times he was in same room as her].They met each other the traditional way, they married the traditional way. And they promptly had children, i guess, the traditional way [heh].

In such relationships, i suppose, love is too strong a word. It implies, rightly or not, fanciful delights, escapades and romantic adventures that didnt exist in their lives. Fondness? yep. Absolutely. Laughter? you bet. He made her laugh, his silly forgetful ways..his balding head [the time a crow pecked his head thinking it was shiny plate]. She was a regular little trooper–climbing trees to make that mango pickle. She was a slight, tiny person–“so thin” he said “that she floated down from the terrace when she tripped” [it actually happened]. He was well-read, articulate, a man of impressive words [he was a journo after all]. She was creative and neighbors said she sang like a nightingale. They grew old together, fighting, bickering, laughing and worrying together. She constantly chided him for not taking enough care of self, he did the same to her.

One perhaps doesnt really know when old-age creeps up [some say its when you have grandkids, but when you gotta run behind errant grandsons, one would doubt that]..but creep up it did. She fell ill often,troubled by heart conditions and what-nots..shrinking like a dried-up leaf…He was always there, never complaining. He didnt believe in God much, prefering simple ideologies and morals to be his only guide. So he didnt pray when she was in hospitals, he read little stories in newspapers and regaled her with gossip. “They are so much in love!” sighed the nurses. The body gave in one day, and she died peacefully in her sleep one night. He dabbed his eyes, expecting this eventuality. She wanted the ceremonies of the religion, he obliged her last wish. “14 days” said the priest–“a ceremony for each day, for 14 days”. He agreed. His children made plans to move him out of his home, to theirs. He didnt complain. “What do i do without her?” he said sadly, as he moved his things into the truck. The night of the 14th day, he passed away. He wasnt ill, overly old or ailed of anything. He simply didnt wish to live without her anymore. But 14 days of rites she wanted, and he gave her that. Asking only that he join her on the 15th. And he did. Love you say? I dont know. Now it seems too tame a word for them. Smiling

But their is probably the sweetest story I’ve ever heard–or seen. Grandpa and grandma were no Romeo and Juliet,and they probably never said the word ‘love’ all through their lives. But their story probably is the best proof that it doesnt always have to be LOVE that fulfills one.

With Fond thoughts,
peps

Do Ree Mi

2006-01-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Do Ree Me?

Its easy actually..Ignorance that is. One would think its difficult, like unlearning something or accidentally learning a lot. No siree. Look at me, I say! Living in a town, then a city, then a metro, progressively so, its only easy to live in a bubble and not realize 'it' exists in reality. Nobody ever talks about it, really. No wait! I did come across it a couple of times, VERRY hush hush. Someone's someone's someone was gonna get married, and the groom's parents wanted the entire home furnished. They didnt really use the D word. It was already illegal by the time i could talk. Its got a more subtle, implicit
term to it. Expectation. "Its just an expectation from the groom's side" they said.

Every other time I've come across the D word in exactly two places--family dramas of the 80s [the kiran kumar/visu/aruna irani kinds with bad mother in law and meek son and such] and in newspapers.Regularly so. Family tea-time was usually reserved for climax of such movies.Yep, thats the part where kerosene soaked daughter-in-law is about to be set alight, and her good brother-in-law is delivering memorized bhashan to wicked mother-in-law. For what it was worth, those movies had a social message atleast. And in my heart of hearts, i believed it was like slavery or smtg. Sure, there are movies about it, only to show how wicked it was. Of course it doesnt exist anymore, its illegal for gods sake.

Then comes the time when i am reading newspapers like its going out of style. Headlines, bylines, reporter-names..weather reports, everything was gobbled down [even obituary columns, though that was coz grandpa wanted to update his address book]. Dowry cases were reported there of course. "Kitchen deaths" of brides. There was always a suspect, so it kinda became like murder, you know? you read murder reports, someone is always captured or guilty, its illegal as hell and hey, of course tehre is a 2% chance anyone in your family or friends circle who do it. Makes sense right? Apparently nope. Coz you run along in life, hop skip and jumping into the next birthday, growing older, none the wiser, thinking education is the solution to all things idiotic. AIDS, female infanticide, etc--education works right? Well, wrong apparently.

Coz hey, it still exists. And guess what? among the educated fools, no less. Price tags on sons, price tags on their education, price tags on MNC status and price tags on payslips. And no, lets not stop there. For every guy who demands dowry, there is a bride's family willing to pay up. Though decidedly, a simple lesson on India's social structure should indicate where the power lies. And while i am only too happy to talk of exceptional instances where there is no Dowry, implicit, explicit or otherwise, it still doesnt remove the fact that the "groom's family expects the apartment to be furnished" or the "wedding to be funded". Which is the point where your whole belief system in education comes to a grinding halt. And rightly so. Why?

coz it points out exactly where education fits in the system. Its a means to an end, given the importance for the ends, which in most cases, is a degree, a job, and a career. Its not presumed, or assumed, to make a person see the world better. Or understand the difference between logic and fallacy. Or used education as a tool to guide a person to what is simply sensible, practical, broad-minded thinking. Its a bunch of math tables, and calculus, and engineering courses. and if THAT is education, and THAT only--i cant find it in me to laugh at those who are taught 'holistically'. I couldnt laugh senselessly at those who are taught sociology, painting, social-services, imagination-classes, moral science and not just math, science and geography. Education needs to be wholesome to be complete in any sense. And if education fails to instill in people the values of equality, the respect for human beings and to question authority and traditions. Then it hasnt done its job. So the next time an engineer tells me that "our education system breeds extremely intelligent people" i would certainly like to ask for the definition of that intelligence. And if in any way, the encapsulates the word 'sensible person'. I doubt it always does.

The Musical Dilettante

2006-01-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

Well, thats one use to 'word of the day' emails. Hmm maybe self should blog a blog everyday based on the 'word of the day' in my inbox that day huh? Well, the point is, its a music review blog [hey HOLD IT RIGHT THERE..did i permit you to leave..did i??]. Admittedly [calmly composing self after hysterical outburst] self hasnt established any credentials to write one. I know I know, Jack of all blogs and master of, hey waittaminute. I dont particularly like the phrase "Jack of all trades". Why? well coz (a) umm..i can claim its coz its a guy's name..but the female version of it, if i were to insist, ends up being jackess [oh well you get the hint] and mistress [not very complimentary]..well i just think its mean to all Jacks..and (b) its made to sound like its a bad thing..which its not. Kinda like the Jack who plays all the time, hey, HEZ getting by you know?
Aaanyways, self has proposed to write albums i come across recently: first up is predictably M.I.A [Arular]..so lemme yoodle on..

M.I.A--didnt wanna go into the history of the singer et al, but methinks one HAS to, to explain it. Allright a one-sentencer on the artist [if you know me, sentences can take years [figuratively and literally]]

"So Mathangi [Maya] Arulpragasam is dotter of tamil tiger freedom fighter [try saying it over and over again. I did, for 3 minutes..tamil tiger freedom fighter]and lived in srilanka before running to tamilnadu when riots broke out, then to london- Major culture shock or wotever i guess, the official statement is that she used music to express herself"

The tamil tiger-chennai-london connection is important coz her music reveals a fairly strong political statement, U.K undergroup rap and what i would frankly call 'dappanguthu' of chennai streets [one of my favorite music genres--ARR could never replicate it exactly, but illayaraja did a great job of it methinks]. Never a fan of anything gansta rappish, this was a great one to introduce me to it, coz

a) the tribality of the scores- while to an unindian ear, it might sound exotic african [well some reviewer called it east bengalish indian but hey, whoz me to criticize]

b) the TAMIL LYRICS!! who would've known there would be tamil in it..rocked my senses out [once i got used to her accent that is].

c) the blasting rhythm of the music--once you get into the mould, one cant help but move and groove and all that jazz, albeit in complicated tribal indian manner.

Mind you, the music takes some getting used to --the newer beats, the undecipherable lyrics [initially atleast]and the sheer noisiness of it at certain times. Maya's vocals are husky, deep and dark--if that were possible in a voice. its not exactly kid-time lyrics, but its got enough spunk to be a club-grooving album or a gals nite album. You pick.

Check out the story on the artiste:

Here is amazon with her CD

And hey, herez an idea. Below are albums, all of which I've either listened to recently or plan to. Let me know which one I should listen/write on next, and i promise to [hey comeon..i need SOME pressure to blog]. I promise i know nothing of music, so couldnt possibly have a bias/preference.

Anoushka Shankar's Rise
Asha Bhonsle The Kronos Quartet
[both of the above are nominated for Grammys]
Bluffmaster
Rang De Basanti
Coldplay--A rush of blood to the head

TV Killed The Radio Star

2006-01-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

Time: 6:45 PM
Worried about dinner? Nope
Why not? Well, i got leftover eggplant cutlets, can put together a matki salad in the time it takes to say 'oh my' [well about 1000 times] and got enough strawberries that threaten to decay if i didnt make em into a milkshake. So nope, am good.
So got time to kill huh? Absolutely.

So whats on your mind? Radio

What else? TV

Allright allright, will stop. The point is, TV killed the radio star. [aw sheesh..I cant come up with something original? well, i said TV, not 'video'] Well, I would argue that video didnt kill the radio, but killed the movie industry instead [you know..video piracy and suchlike..but thats for another 3 hour dinner over burnt food and wimpy salad]. I mean, i get it..the optimism over multiplexes and such in India..hoo haa all over..But piracy is still out there, and my mom refuses to shell out 400 rs when the singhji at shop around the corner can give the same movie, on the same day, with no extra petrol spent. The eyebrow-raisers at my paranoid theory [which, for now, is just one person who shared that godawful meal described above] will appeal to the movie-maniacal nature of the 'masses' as normal people are classified these days, and the enormous spending capacity, and the sheer strength of the rural population that will go repeatedly to the theatres to make 'no entry' a superhit. Oh well.

Coming back to the TV -radio star connection, i would now like to declare my undying love for the medium of radio. no, no, i aint one of those "oh yeah, radio, its cheap and good" fans..I TRULY believe in it [looking intently into the camera with smokey-eyes makeup as I mouth this after Oprah asks the question 'what does radio mean to you?']. I hung dedicatedly to my pirated walkman that played radio all through my BEST bus-ride days, through my 5 hour train journeys to pune, through my 'play the movie 'aandhi' every saturday morning and it gets stuck at the same point every damn time' ASIAD bus days. I simply loved radio mirchi in bombay--memorizing the signoffs of each RJ and laughing at their jokes while the bus conductor glared at my soiled, torn and taped 5 rupee notes.

Radio, simply put, is a fabalous medium. It penetrates deep into the audience, and while it doesnt have the undivided attention that the TV claims [well that aint true anymore, but lets just say the TV is in denial]. Radio doesnt suffer from the multi-channeling syndrome for precisely the same reason--its a background thing. You might be struggling to get the damn atta outta the bag, and when you suddenly drop it all and cover yourself in white flour, you hear an optimistic DING as the host suggests "Try Denny's today..its the place to be"--hell, advertising couldnt get any better than that [well i missed the romantic getaway ads and the spa ads, but hey, ads dont get everyone all the time]. Radio is there, always, like a comforting friend. And trust me, the way i sing those jingles in the car on my one-hour commute, the ad-guys have gotten me nice and clean. I can stand in the aisle of the supermarket singing the washing powder jingle to the last key. TV-fatigue is setting in, radio-guys...the viewers are sick of all the reality shows, godawful ads, pathetic soaps and incessant rambling on the idiot box. News shows are like soaps, soaps arent real at all, and reality shows are starting to create news [notice the cyclic route there?]..ZONE IN, i scream..capture us all, us content-hungry audiences..who want to laugh, cry, dance and sing along, just like they do on those tv ads [whoops]. Which other medium has the power to be a permanent fixture onto the audience you need? [psst--none]..SEIZE the moment, SEIZE the moment of failure of TV and all thats pop-up ads..let the radio turn murderer now..and kill the TV HOST!!!

headphones forever, peps

Is it only me?

2005-12-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

I am no investigative journalist, but when i saw this and this, i was kinda thrilled about 'black' however rehashed, being chosen on time's top 10 list. Even here! However, a visit to the time magazine site revealed, well, nothing. No black, nothing! what gives?? Am i missing something here? Is there a different list online and a different list for the print version?

Update: looks like the Time Asia list is different, still trying to figure why, coz there are a lot of overlaps anyway..anycase, mystery solved looks like.

Update #2: Time magazine's reponse to my question below

*** city ***
San Francisco, CA
Hi,

I was wondering why your top films list here is different from the
one on Times Asia. And assuming that Times Asia is for asian movies
as well, why the asian movies here [2046 and Kung-Fu hustle] were
DROPPED to accomodate black and the thai movie on the asia list.

**response**
Hi,

Since the international editions of TIME are produced for different
audiences, they are neither identical to the U.S. edition nor to each
other. The editors at each edition are somewhat autonomous and make
different decisions about what content to publish.

Thank you for your interest, and all best wishes in the new year.

Sincerely,

Well, it still doesnt make sense to me. Its the same reviewer/columnist with two different lists for two different editions..Time is yet to respond to second query.

Update #3:

My Mail:
Thanks for the response. It still doesnt make sense, its the SAME
>columnist who is rating the movies, how can he have two different
>list for two different editions? isnt it his personal opinion?
>
>I am talking of the link here
>ht
>tp://www.time.com/time/asia/news/article/0,9754,1143731,00.html
>and here
>http://
>www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1142135,00.html

Time’s response:

Actually it does make sense. While “Citizen Dog” had wide release in
Thailand, how many people in the U.S. have had a chance, or will have
a chance, to see it? Our lists are just not that universal.

Besides, what a waste of time it would have been for you to look at
both websites and see the same list. Eye-wink

ROTFL

My India trip

2005-12-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

Pictures and commentary of my recent india trip

I confess I am a...

2005-12-23T08:13:00.000-08:00

listener of Christmas Carols..CORNY to be precise [Christmas on Rhyming Notes, YES!!]. First my defense:

1) NO, its not some colonial hangover. Well, it possibly is, but i havent really heard too many Jain songs for Mahavir Jayanthi, so i will stick to the most popular [Ganesh mandal rehashes of popular bollywood movies to ganeshish proportions notwithstanding]

2) Yes, i studied in a convent school. I was that kid who solemnly stacked the hymns book in her schoolbag everyday, and even yelped joyously when the nuns chose my favorite one to sing in the morning prayers.

3) And no, i dont always like christmas carols, especially when the retailers give the step-sisterly treatment to thanksgiving and insensitively play christmas songs during TG.

I, simply put, enjoy the christmas carols. I do have my radio switched to the station that plays the most of it. Some would say its my childhood denial syndrome kicking in, that when as the only ‘convent-bred’ kid, i could get away with singing “sound of music” and still be patted on head for singing like those choir-girls for xmas. To be fair, Xmas carols are not too hard on the ears, and i truly feel there is a magic to it. So while the rest of the country decides to call it a celebration of festiveness or some such lame stuff, I will tune my music station to xmas carols and light a fire in the fireplace of our californian rented home [aw you chicago-folk…dont balk!] and pretend i am in an enid-blyton novel. Which probably makes it a literary-hangover more than a colonial-hangover.

Coz i know, atleast where i come from, retailers will bravely put out christmas logos and share pedas under the christmas trees with customers. And know all is well in the “Merry christmas” land.

Delirious from overdose of office-gifts for the festive season,
me.

the long thought on goodnight

2005-10-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

History was never my strong subject at school. And movie reviewing isnt my strongest of skills. So combine american history with american movies, and self is at as lost as macalay culkin in home alone II. Great, now i’ve even raised expecations with that analogy.

My point is this, movies on historical events pass me by fairly unimpactfully. Five years back, at a discussion of ‘all the president’s men’ my awe at the discussion of the movie started and ended with the knowledge that watergate was the name of a building, giving rise to the ‘watergate scandal’.Who knew? I was content in letting that fact be the only takeaway from the discussion. In anycase, years of doing the ‘readers dont digest’ rounds of filmfare magazine, and the ability to correctly predict endings of bollywood fillums brought in me a naive thought that self might be a movie critic. You know, bash a few, laud a few, give it a rating bordenline enough to make you an expert be it a flop or a hit.

But the point is, it sometimes IS greatly satisfying to view a movie on american history and come away with the feeling of having watched a classy film, very well-timed and beautifully handled, while still being ignorant on the historical significance and the importance of the historical characters in it. Its like when you catch a surprisingly great flick on the arabian horses and their tough situation. Granted you know nothing about the fodder scam that arabia is under now, but if hte movie is good enough, you would have that vague ‘i watched smtg satisfying’ feeling. You dont need much skill for that kinda feeling, and thats exactly what i felt this weekend. Self came away with shining eyes and an inspired soul, but could only vaguely recall the name of characters and the senator in the movie, the movie that was ‘goodnight, and goodluck’. If an inspired soul is what George clooney aimed for, you got it dude. If driving home the idealogies of the main character was, too bad. but for that, i blame myself.

Goodnight, and goodluck is the movie of CBS reported Edward Murrow, who exposed and consequently brings down senator McCarthy. I know, very “all the president’s men”ish..but the investigation of the story is NOT the highlight. What is?

a) Camera work—kudos to the team for deciding to shoot it all in black and white. The smoke-filled CBs newsroom and the cigarette dangling from tip of finger is absolutely enhanced in a B&W mode. The crisp, direct tone of the movie is supplemented very well with the non-distracting and effective use of black and white. Especially since the senator’s courtroom and hearing scenes are the original recordings, it blends splendidly

b) editing–tautness is the tyrannical theme of the movie, and i mean that in a good sense. Tautness, i feel, is easier to portray if the movie is a series of events unfolding. [if the reporters were to, lets say, run around collecting clues]. When the movie is of a slightly preachy, introspective nature, tautness can possibly be impossible to achieve. Little things add to the tautness, Murrow’s direct launch into his report, bypassing the ‘good morning america’ cliche, delivers the sense of urgency and the high tension in the newsroom everytime.

c) The characters–David Straitharin, as murrow in unbelievable. He looks like someoone who shot right out of 1950’s and probably will go right back. He is introspective, passionate, principled, cynical and sarcastic in the few lines he delivers off-the-camera. His speech at the felicitation ceremony, in the beginning and end of the movie, are in one-word, inspiring. When he says “i dont mean to say dont dedicate the tv for entertainment..all i ask is dedicate one day a week for a report on education reforms” you can sense the audience nod in understanding [well i went to a theatre of fairly old patrons]. When he does little bits of shows on fashion and housewives to have a steady income, he doesnt draw pity, just a smile.

The characters of shirley and joe, though slightly irrelevant to the plot, surprisngly work well to move the wheels of the story forward, acting as narrators, they replace the audience within the story. expressing thoughts and feelings that the audience probably feels at that point of the movie. George clooney as fred friendly, the producer of the show that exposes the senator, is controlled and believable.

The final message isnt preachy, its merely observational. Its probably easy to see it as “dont pollute the medium of TV with garbage” theme, but methinks the message is more “dont insulate and protect yourselves behind the laughtracks”. And i’ve never been happier abour NPR ever since.

inspired to no effect,
peps

By the by, am a tambram

2005-10-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

Tambram chronicles, how utterly jejune. Well, to be frank, am motivated to write on the section of the society purely out of ‘eye rolling’ variety of people i come across in the U.S once in awhile, who want to brandish the tambram tag, for reasons entirely unknown to logic.

I mean, i expect a reader to be as interested in this as Paris Hilton chronicles, “what did my petdog wear today” kinda stuff. But! even that category has readers dont it. And in anycase, i think its profoundly useful to know about the Tambram idealogy. Its the very foundation of all things ritualistic. Shakespeare once said “all the world’s a stage” [and boy, did THAT one get overused]. Mom preferred to come up with her own inspiring words, “All ideas are recipes” she would proclaim, a stern eye focused on me for obvious reasons. But then, it wasnt always a hint to my cooking skills. To her, everything was a recipe, really. “A bit of newspaper and a dash of coffee and my morning is made” she would declare, at 6 A.M. “A pinch of motivation and a bowl of hardwork” she would insist, when exams were a day away [well motivation had a pretty weak flavor, but whoz be to doubt her recipes?]. Grandpa, when he visited would beam proudly and point to fact that mom was a B.A in English. well, no surprise there methinks. Of her generation, 93.56% were B.A English. The rest chose B.A.math or some such to direct them to the favorite tambram passion of those times, government banks.

Well anyway, coming back to the recipe for tambram ideology, we have to dissect the ingredients.

Today, we talk of the classic uncle.

In a true tambram household [the kinds i know atleast], each person is connected to other in precisely two ways. If not more. Unless they were direct siblings or parents that is. The classic uncle is the one always to point it out. He would walk in, unannounced, take of chappals and place it neatly by the front door [while making it a point to comment on any other eye-catching variety of shoe placed beside it]. He would invariably be the one to say “DID YOU KNOW that i am your uncle as well as your grandfather?” well, he usually isnt lying. At some point my family would’ve realized they needed to look at neighbors and far-off relatives to marry their children off and thus ended a never-ending loop of uncles and aunts who, if the situation demanded, could do a double duty of grandpa or grandma. Uncle is usually pretty harmless though. He could wax eloquent about how rasam should be, but would’ve never prepared it in his life. He would’ve cooked exactly once in his life, typically when wife was getting a delivery or hysterectomy done, but would go on and on about it all his life. He would also be the one to take pride in all things ritualistic and all things that radiates false silly pride. By definition, he would have to disagree with all things new-generationish. Food, clothing, and god-save-the-songs they listen to. Excessive use of english would spark discussions of how the english language benefited from us all [well not tamil you see..but in this case he would suddenly get patriotic for language. In true “dad of the my fat greek wedding” movie, he would claim english benefited immmensely from india].

And everytime you accidentally thought english had a wider variety of words to suit your palette, he would start his classic question “did you know you cant say so-and-so sentence in english? why, they dont have words for that type of thing”. Unlike his wife, who couldnt explain why she insisted on certain crazy traditions, he would have a pompous scientific sounding reason for each one. These explanations are delivered using a loud voice, stern eye and a “do you dare to challenge what i believe to be the truth” tone. Like the time i asked why i should wear a bindi and a jasmine garden in my head when all i was doing is wtching TV. Hell hath no fury like an uncle asked. “A BINDI” he would exclaim loudly “is god’s way of protecting women. When rowdy-types see a woman with a bindi, it reminds them of shiva’s third eye. Which is WHY you must wear a bindi all the time”. Aunt would beam at uncle, she wouldnt have had any other answer but a “coz you must”. Uncle would triumphantly shoot a look at mom, one that translates to “this is how you deal with kids these days. see? i taught her didnt i”? statements like “huh” and “what the..?” or “so if i dont keep a bindi a rowdy will catch me” can produce deathlike silence followed by mom’s “you must listen to elders” speech, though we both know shez just making uncle happy.

In the next tambram chronicle, we shall explore the smartypants-shloka reciting-Padma Seshadri bred-made for engineering-cousin.

Tambram forever,
me

I got 85 marks what about karthik? The Tambram Cousin

2005-10-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

why the why, its the tambram son.

Tambram sons are a species divine. No, really. When they are born, its not usually with a silver spoon but a vertical red line on forehead. Right from the birth, to the time they marry their “she works in the software field, same as him” wives, they possess something that is important to the tambram dictionary, kalai. More importantly “iyengar kalai”. I promise not to use fancy tamil lingo no more, but this is important. Kalai [patters correct me if i am wrong] is basically that oily shine on face that somehow is supposed to distinguish a kid as a tambram. Dont ask me how, tambrams are apparently born with the skill to identify the tambramness in the faces of the srinivasans. “The minute i saw him, i knew he was an iyengar”, many a srinivasans would’ve exclaimed triumphantly. Heck, you are in the middle of iyengarpet dude, who else do you find in the temple streets of mambalam?

They are not specially treated over girls, this much i will give them. As girls, the expecatations, i feel, arent too different from community-to-community. Now unless you count those in which eating platefuls of chicken as a sign of manliness, tambram males have this unique pressure on them for a number of things.

a) temple-shlokas-noodlethread-sandhyavandhanam kiddo

Promptly at the age of seven or so, the kid gets the kinda ceremony that gals can only dream of. The thread ceremony, the ultimate in-your-face proof of iyengarism. While smarter alecs have gotten rid of the cumbersome thread ages ago, the patter boy valiantly holds on to it, missing many a bowling sessions during cricket as the thread slides off to hamper that crucial ball. The tambram kid religiously goes to temples, knows the parts of a temple and can utter the names of each of those amazing prasads they dole out. He can say “their home had chakapradhaman and such” without remotely exercising his tongue. He would have 3-5 handy shlokas handy to belt out at community gatherings. Depending, of course, on mom’s interest during his childhood. “when he was smaller, he used to recite the sandhyavandhanam without a single mistake” his mom would claim. “NOT A SINGLE MISTAKE” dad would nod sagely. Tambram boy will typically not question god, rituals, what nots. He would glare incredulously at neighboring tambram boy who had the guts, the guts of it i say, to try cakes with eggs. Till the age of about 12-14, he would be the shining example for other tambram mothers to point to. Which is about the time he would’ve finally gotten admission into waitlisted padmaseshadri and enters tambram teenagerhood.

b) the teenage years

english is cool. A.R.Rehman is cool. Hindi isnt, even though he has passed those fancy hindi-proficiency tests out of school.He loses interest in shlokas for a brief period. He is now in a cool-school, where girls are fancy and not oil-plaited. Casting surreptious glances at the ‘northie’ types, he would not typically thinking of being chummy with gals, except to share notes or discuss tuition classes owing to mom’s wild tales “that boy roams with girls and look at his marks in mid-term one” kinda flippant remarks. School becomes the new temple, a place to share chemistry notes, cricket scores and CDS of rolling stones that someone’s brother’s uncle said was cool [tambram boy obviously].He is usually not much into sports, struggling with the stereotype of a tambram boy who is healthy but not sporty except for galli cricket but must be brilliant in math and science. report-cards with hardearned scores in math will earn a reward and a reference to a U.S settled uncle who was brilliant in math as well. The idea of engineering as the doomed future takes shape slowly in head.Not that boy thinks its a doomed future owing to wide array of uncles, cousins, neighbor’s brothers who chose the path to permanent glory. Around this time, tambram boy’s silly remarks of the “I want to become a movie-star or race-car driver” are not treated with mirth like they used to be. Dad regularly challenges these jestful remarks with questions on math-scores, and mom has a handy basket of loser-cases who can never make it in life, they werent engineers. Between this age and 22 or so, life becomes a never ending pursuit towards an engineering degree or worse. [till 22 that is]

c) “which project does she work on” wife search

There is usually nothing that seperates age 16 from age 25..except tambram kiddo earns a handsome salary now and invests conversations around mobile phones, stocks shares and excessive salary-comparison with peers. The highlight is the impending girl-seeing ceremony that mom will inevitably line up for “first class with distinction MNC project manager so is worth a project manager herself or less [not more though] wife in software” charade. Lineups are fairly easy. Religion, MNC capabilities, homeliness and the pre-referred iyengar kalai. Once mom has done a shortdown of indian-born->hindu->brahmin->iyengar->subsect->star->gothram, our guy has a well categorized list of prospective brides. The factors to decide with dont change so much, so he could effectively use a computer-coded program to arrive at the best selection even without meeting her. But meet her he will, being a broad-minded U.S settled engineer. Mom finally gets a say in his life and she attacks it with gusto. Her extensive temple-network comes handy to cross-refernce the nominees. Dude arrives for a marathon “five gals a day” session, back to back over weekend. He spends the rest of his india holiday meeting the uncles and aunts and grandpas who appreciate electric toothbrush gifts and rib him good-naturedly on impending marriage. smartypants kiddo is certain his marriage will be confirmed in next two days, so wisely does not plan for long indian holiday this time [2 weeks for the wedding later in the year].

Wife-seeing ceremony moves swiftly along. Not much detail here, there seriously isnt any. As a broad-minded guy, he wishes to “talk” with gal, coffee-day nearby serves as the safe venue while parents wait the 10 break out in girl’s home, admiring cross-stitch and “best programmmer” awards [ensuring they share “award” stories as well]. End of day is for mom’s verdicts as well as dad’s [she is too modern and the likes] while tambram kid pretends he thinks deeply of all the offerings. He typically doesnt, its as eeny-meeny-minie-mo as the next guy experimenting in starbucks. Visa issues are evaluated and job opportunities are considered for her. The automatic assumption being she will move there [they DID know he was from U.S right?].

Guy reconnects to roots of iyengarism before wedding, assuming each ceremony of the 3 day saga is crucial. Fun comes in the form of searching for rings in pots and breaking papads on faces.

I guess a large part of this isnt different for non tambrams, but somehow I feel the factor of being an ‘iyengar’puts this unique pressure on these guys, and well, had to vent out some didnt i Sticking out tongue

Usual disclaimers apply. And please understand its gentle rigging of the tambram guy, i dont dislike the category. Hell, am married to one of the 26-letter guys arent i?

Guilty of back-stabbing,
me

OHIM Newsie

2005-10-07T15:47:00.000-07:00

thats oh god its monday to you.

sometimes you just gotta write a newsie..i mean, its like those "sometimes, sprinklers just beseechingly call out to a pair of bare feet and squeals of delight". A crazy person has to do what a crazy person has to do, so here goes.

First off though, i never figured why news digests make their way into mailboxes or such on a friday. I mean, i see why writers think fridays make sense for these, but see none why readers would find it interesting on the day. The typical worker, typically, is just waiting for friday to get over. i mean, really. Its the day she sets aside time to write copious emails to friends, does 2 hour watercooler trips and thinks the deli downstairs can give lunch an hour late and all she'd say is "thank you very much now can i have a smoothie and take your sweet time on it". Not the day for newsies methinks..now MONDAY, on the other hand qualifies splendidly. sad faces, mails in inbox none that you wanna touch..you need that something that makes you feel productive yet doesnt spell work. So please desist from reading this on friday. I promise to make it pompuos sounding incase boss sneaks up to ya on monday.

Real Estate getting REAL

I am thinking there is a reason the word 'real estate' has the word real in it..ever thought about it? i mean, estate makes sense [thought for a long time estates meant either tea or tata vehicles to me]. so after spending a year hyping the atrocious prices of real estate in CA, NY and such, the slowdown begins it seems. Well, am far removed from it all, so am probably unfairly cynical here. But comeon guys, how many heard a price for a home and went "NO WAY!! who PAYS that price?" or secretly checked real-estate listings much as you check daily horoscope? I hear its no different in the likes of bangalore or pune. A decent read for sure, curled up in my warm blanket in the balcony of cosy apartment while the maintainence guy fixes the broken blinds for free. This is as real as MY estate will get.

Mini Maxi?

Allright am obsessed. and yeah yeah, i know i dissed the honda element or the toyota scion to death. but hey, loyalties have a price you know..even if to SOME [pointed look at battered half] it may seem like a hybrid of an ambi and a mini. Mixed feelings as yet on this, but hey, have started to get used to the scion on the road..maybe this too.

My dream job

If i were to explain the kinda job i'd dream of, it would be smtg in the media, in the spotlight and where i need to be constantly on the move..hell, i didnt mean THIS

Who, who and WHO??

Rajpal yadav was dimunitively scary in 'jungle' for all that movie was worth. He was notable again in other recent flicks, but has remained firmly in the RGV camp. I definitely thought he was good in 'main madhuri dixit' but he was still sidelined against antara. While hez done the anupam kher version of 'i need the money' comedies [when will talented folk stop really?] this is one i had a wary eye on..seems its good, and though rediff reviews arent much [indiafm pans it] i would keep this flick on the pirated-but-hush-dont-tell-anyone-coz-you-benefit neighborhood DVDwala's radar.

Cant wait for it to be monday,
peps

Cat Rain Na

2005-09-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone noticing how katrina is such a bombastic combination of world calamities? Cynical self wonders, if the tsunami and the likes were news of the year [my year starts in december], Katrina is the khichdi news of the year. You have a hurricane impact, blown to Tsunami proportions..you have stories afloat of relief efforts,covered by media to mumbai flood proportions [albeit way more botched up, but also leads me to think of the media's role in reporting here vs. NOT reporting there] and you have well, evacuations, of Gazaa strip proportions. Now if a looter of the nearest seven-eleven near new orleans downtown posed a terrorist threat, it would be the 'news that can explain the planet earth 2005 in one single event' deal.

Please to note, I FEEL for New Orleans people. And I dont wanna do the barbara bush thing, but who thinks this article is worth a consideration? Its a case AGAINST rebuilding new orleans, if that were possible. ANd a note on katrina's impact on price gouging.

ok, someone tell this guy 9/11 is passe. seriously. When he did his 9/11 comparison to Infosys in india, certain someones sniggered in an amused tone [pointed look at self's battered half]. but katrina to 9/11? whats the deal mr.fried man? run out of steam with your "i tell my daughters to buckle up and do homework, kids in india will take up your future jobs otherwise!" melodramatic statements?

tennis

This was officially the sweetest match in a long time, and no, self's bias towards shiny bald-plate agassi notwithstanding. till damn channel 105 cut the last half hour to show half of 'law and order SVU'. I dont mind the show, really, its perfect for a dinner of maggi and smoothie and non-laugh track TV time. But whoa! cutting a match to show a half-over show? deja vu of Doordarshan days anyone?

soapbox channel

and now, for the soapbox channel..and for those who religiously read the "odd news" section of reuters, I give you..this.

and dont bother asking what psychos live in today's world, the chili incident in california was enough to prove what kinds. and for the entertainment section, we have a pop question:

How will upcoming model-became-actress [ahem. MBA for short] katrina kaif be impacted by the katrina?

a) her career is predicted to be a disaster
b) she will be the hurricane of bollywood
c) she will be blamed for all flops in the industry by the superstitious folk [thats *.* in bollywood]

Allright Allright

2005-08-02T19:24:00.000-07:00

I know the guy seems crazy--but hez got an interestin point with

"..Insanity is thinking that piracy is the reason music sales are down and then focusing most of your business on selling music to the exact demographic that has the most time to spend on finding free music and most energy to spend on cracking whatever protections you introduce."

Are women afraid to compete?

2005-08-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

not a fantastic read, but worth a thought during the water-refill break at work..

"Indeed, it seems women not only avoid competitions, even when they are forced to compete, they first funk and then flunk.

This psychological quirk clearly has huge economic implications because, on the whole, society can end up getting a large number of highly competitive but useless males in top jobs while less competitive and more competent females get left behind. "

Willy Wonka-Just Imagine.

2005-07-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Meal candies and wonderous elevators. These two things stand out vividly from my fanatacial reading stints during childhood.Strangely enough, I found myself peppering my normal life conversations with casual references to both of these, like everyone else should but naturally understand them. “You dont need a kitchen!” i would reprimand my handicapped-by-bachelorhood guy, “all you need is meal-in-a-toffee to chew on instead of lunch”. “The what?” he would ask, immediately letting the phrase evaporate from his memory two seconds later.

“Charlie and the chocolate factory” had three great motivating factors going for it this sunday. 1) I loved the book, owning a very tattered copy of it till the library guy insisted on closing my acccount till i returned it. 2) Johhny Depp - I dont swoon over him in a cinderella’s step-sister fashion, but brief glimpses in movies such as “what’s eating gilbert grape”[also admit this movie had one of leonardo di caprio’s finest performances] and “nick of time” [dont ask.nothing spectacular]. “Pirates of the carribean” astounded me for his daring flamboyance in the character, as did ‘finding neverland’, a heart-warming tale about the most adorable characters and 3) it was so damn hot i needed to get to an AC theatre to get some relief. oh well, so much for cinematic allure.

I must admit the reviews and previews had prepped me well for the flick.As i hope this one will do too. A popular sentiment seems to be that you need to know the book to get the movie-absolutely false. While the same could be true of hitchhiker’s guide, is definitely not applicable to “charlie and..”. Expect eccentricity, if you dont already. And ‘leave your senses behind’ might make sense for cheesy hollywood flicks, but not for this one. Its whacko allright.Its madness allright. But it has a chocolate-truck full of brilliance going for it,and that nobody can deny.

The movie opens with the story of impoverished Charlie bucket, played by a Freddie Highmore, who manages to retain a permanent look of optimism and hope through the movie.Living in a lopsided cottage [trust me, its REALLY lopsided] he dreams of the willy wonka chocolate factory, satisfyin himself with stories of the factory told by delightful ex-employee grandpop. Living in a home filled with four grandparents and one set of parents, he is a cheerful child, helpful and finding immense joy in building a remake of the factory using toothpaste caps his dad finds at his factory. Charlie lives for the one willy wonka chocolate bar he gets every christmas, a gift from his penniless yet comforting family.

Excitement mounts as five golden tickets to a factory tour at the chocolate factory are hidden in 5 fortunate chocolate bars. The television telecasts the first four winners: an obese german kid, a maniacally competitive bubble-gum girl, a brat spoilt beyond rotten apple tolerance and the geekiest squid-kid you’ve ever seen. Charlie, by a strange quirk of fate, ends up being the last of this pack.

What follows is the most enchanting magical adventure that ever followed Mary Poppins. Johhny depp makes his giggling entry, clapping like a school-child at his own introduction scene by puppets that ultimately burn and perish. Johhny depp, is quite simply, Willy Wonka. While i do not remember the particularly clownish features of Wonka from the book, he looks and plays like the most brilliant man-child there was, and does it splendidly. With a prep-schoolgirl haircut, stupendously garish costumes and a face as colorful as a bucket of chalkpowder, he breezes into the movie with the audacity and the giggling excitement only an accomplished actor could bring. He seems naturally at ease with his antics, grinning stupidly, wincing visibly and explaining earnestly what could only be a load of nonsense to most of his visitors. “Well, you couldnt really make whipped cream without whipping the cow. Then that simply couldnt be whipped cream could it?” he asks,not innocently, but with the pompous arrogance that he so richly qualifies for.

The journey through the chocolate factory is enchanting–chocolate waterfalls to churn the chocolate and devious gadgets to make the perfect bar of chocolate seem to make perfect sense to a chocolate-lover, i would assume. The workers in the factory, the oompa-loompas didnt quite leave behind a satisfied feeling though. Apart from the desi-actor interest as well as the spontaneous song-and-dance routine that is famously inspired by bollywood dances, acted as a breather, helping me only to digest what I’d seen. Blame it on bollywood? why,most certainly Smiling

The rest of the children seem like spooky villains of my childhood nightmare. Their acting, however, is excellent. Cold, callous and calculating, they mildly interest willy Wonka, who cant for the life of him, fathom why they are so small and why they would try to please him. Freddie Highmore, playing Charlie, however, leaves a vaguely unsettling feeling of not having had enough of him. An excellent actor in “finding neverland”,he seems to be content in the background of Willy Wonka’s hysterical character.

Special effects–full marks. No surprise from hollywood i suppose, but somehow I feel the creative indulgence in a cartoon or a fantasy flick far exceed the cold metallic feel of star wars or the matrix. This movie qualifies without a doubt for the “breathtaking” effects and visuals. I could only hope there will soon be a “willy wonka” ride in disneyland that would be even one quarter of what the movie inspires.

The rest of the cast is just fine. Hop onto the ride to the chocolate factory this summer, and if you dont come out with a sweet taste and a feel-good attitude, well, you have only yourself to blame.Seriously. Its not a movie that you either like or hate. Its a movie that you qualify to love, or not.

its all very fishy

2005-07-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

“I hate pets”, I told my friend. Those lovely, cuddly, fuddly, cutie-pie dogs and cats that one would go “choo chweet” for? yep, those. Hate them. zilch love. I do scowling competitions with bulldogs and laziness competitions with neighbors cats, i do admit. But a pet of my own? no way. But waittaminute! Wasnt always like to so, you know..It wasnt? you ask, idly biting your nails while pretending to have better things to do. “No it wasnt”, i reply with breathless misunderstanding of your polite question as indefatigable interest. Twas a decade and five years ago, that self and bro were immersed in a game of friendly carromboard. It was the typical cozy family scene, if you would kindly like to imagine it. Grandma sat in one corner, a happy contented smile on her face. Pallavi, the chief protagonist, sacrificer par excellence and the undying symbol of indian womanhood, was finally allowed to meet her son on a famed tamil TV soap. She approved of pallavi, casting a reproachful look at her own daughter-in-law in the kitchen. Pallavi was righteous. Why, wasnt she a mute spectator to the hundreds of ill-treatments her husband’s family threw at her? Good for pallavi, grandma [must’ve] thought as she muttered a few prayers, either for pallavi or her own pallavi-wannabe acquaintances. Moving if you will, to the kitchen that grandma had only recently thrown a disdainful look towards, you will see the daughter-in-law, cooking. The daughter-in-law, in stark contrast to the previous character, wasnt happy. She cared a damn for the floosie pallavi on the telly, choosing to focus her attention to thinking evil thoughts about lakshmi, the maid. She conjured up 6 situations with nonchalant ease, all six of which were understandably intolerable reasons for the maid to ditch work today. Beginning with the possiblity of her having skulked away to watch that recent telugu movie released in the theatre nearby [“wait till she asks for a loaner tenner again!!”] to truly morbid situations like a fatally wounded husband in the hospital [an excuse used twice, much to mom’s annoyance]. cut back to the living room, where self and bro sat, practicing scornful looks for each other’s loss in the game. My two goldfishes, yes, i admit, i owned two, swam contently within the confines of their aquarium. I had plastic weeds and makeshift homes placed in it, hoping to con them into thinking they were in the ocean. I didnt see why they wouldnt think that, there was even a plastic mermaid to complete the look. I took aim at the last coin on the board, already tasting the victory [or the talcum powder of the board, who knew wot victory is supposed to taste like?]. As i whooped with joy, i noticed a well-developed scorn on bro’s face turn into a scowl [very jekyll and hydish transformation i assure you] and undeniable rage. One loud kick to the board sent it swirling to the table atop which perched the aquarium. CRASHHHH!! Grandma turned towards us in an unnerving slow-motion mode while mom scurried out, hoping it was the door shutting after lakshmi’s entry. The glass-pieces lay broken on the floor, water all over the carpet and sofa and two particularly unhappy fish flapping their bright orange fins against a decidedly confusing tile-piece of the floor. There was perhaps a 5 second period of silence at the end of each everyone spoke non-stop for two minutes. Gist as follows: Mom: dont move a step. Bro: Save the fishes. Grandma: Dont touch them! we are vegetarians [duh??] self: I won! Mom: Who did this? Bro: you cheated. we have to save the fishes! grandma: We are brahmins! [for added effect i presume] Self: I didnt! the fishes are dead! Well, mine turned out to be the last sentence spoken. The fishes were indeed dead, victims to staunch brahminism is grandma, and sheer laziness on our parts. Silence returns for 20 seconds at the end of which lakshmi enters the scene, dabbing dry eyes with end of pallu, shouting ‘amma…my husbandd….” while she tried to hide ticket stubs behind her. —curtains close—- So, there ya go. i owned a pair of pets that were sacrificed at the altar of brahminism. Needless to say, i was traumatized and rebelled by eating fishes,chicken and all that moved in hte years to come. Attempts to get another pet were thwarted by still-a-fan-of-pallavi grandma, who suddenly viewed my non-vegetarian habits to be similar to barbarians. Her justfitication was that i would eat my pets, as was now a non-vegetarian. All i can say of this indelible memory was, I won :-)

Take this!

2005-06-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

Chandramukhi-Review Scene

2005-04-19T12:51:00.001-07:00

Director: kudos for atleast picking a non-revenge drama. Its a horror flick in the most original form--original it is not, so doesnt strike the horror chord. But atleast keeps one interested. Well-paced and well-placed [product placement that is], the film entertains on an overall level. Its but obvious that anybody else apart from Rajnikanth is in negligible roles, and its definitely true.[what did you expect ?]. While if you are prone to saying it, "what the heck" would be uttered about 76 times through the movie, it made for fun and hey, that counts.

Rajnikanth: delivers. He almost seems like a guest star towards the interval, fairly detached from the actual movie. His superstargiri is impactless but obviously necessary for the fans. He smiles, he laughs, he mouths dialogs appropriately and attempts the comedy fairly succesfully.He is noble, loyal and kind-and even patches up with a suspiciously Jayalalithaish character towards the end, therby delivering the much anticipated political message as well. Hallelujah!

Rest of the cast exists--which is more than can be said of a rajni movie. Actors are unapologetically wasted, nasser, vineet, etc. Newcomer nayantara is nothing to write home about.Jyotika delivers a punch towards the end and qualifies for being the second real actor in the movie.

Story: Would've been way better if in the original. Prabhu and Jyotika move to a palace with extended family for a project and the bhoot of chandramukhi haunts the place and its occupants. Rajnikanth as a [ahem] psychologist from AMEEErica attempts to solve the case. Havent seen such a storyline in tamil in a looong time, so its a good change from the "love" and "revenge" theme of the past decade.

As is true of all movies, keep logic aside please. Its an entertainer of the illogical variety, give it the due credit it deserves.

Chandramukhi-Movie Scene

2005-04-19T12:51:00.000-07:00

Product placement finally hit tamil movies fullblast. Movie is preceded by ad for Airtel, connecting two vague things like "chandramukhi" and Airtel phones. The host beams happily into the camera and proclaims herself happy as she has Airtel. "And now for the Superstar movie--Chandramukhi!!" she trills while the movie begins. Bunch of engineers in construction van are being attacked by "villains" [notice the quotes. Indicates am clueless of the who,why,what,where of the villains. They pop out for a significant part of the movie]. While obese Hero "prabhu" tries to rush to the rescue, a henchman is smacked in the face by a pair of cheap keds. Camera moves from sole of shoe [size 8] to face of the superstar. Commendable make-up, the senior citizen almost resembles the 45 year old sensation. Background music goes wild, as does the theatre. A guy stands up to throw torn paper at the screen, while self is hoping that the theatre-guys screen the entry shot for a small aarti [its true. Have been there]. Doesnt happen, but shrill whistles continue unabated--screenshot seems frozen for such a moment so that nobody misses a single dialog. After a lengthy minute, the noise dies down. Now Rajnikanth proceeds to single-handedly destroy any memory of "The Matrix". Mr.Anderson is down on his knees, begging for mercy as the superstar flies, freezes and swims in the wind to bash up goons. The spectacular fight ends with the superstar jumping up in the air, freezing, and dusting shoes before landing expertly upright. Hallelujah!

Guy on left takes offense to laughter at fight-"If its crouching tiger hidden dragon everyone will see but not superstar" he sulks. Mom smiles kindly at hurt fan, and looks at me as if to say " Freeze that thought on copycat directors". This, by the way, is fan-dom at its best. There is no sense or logic in the movie--the dialogs, obviously patronizing ["I have heard ravana has 10 brains in 10 heads but superstar has 10 brains in one head"]. Its obscene watching Rajnikanth prace around his grandaughter aged actress. Nobody is allowed decent screen-time and its a VERY souped up version of a perceivably classy mallu movie. But the theatre is elated, logic to hell.After atleast a decade I came out of the theatre with smiling, laughing audience--no matter what the reason, they enjoyed themselves. The incredulousness of the movie,the arguably unfunny comedy--it all bundled into one fun session for the crowd, and hey, one cant argue with a crowd-pleaser. A Rajni movie is guilty-pleasure--you know there is nothing intellectual in there, but you are drawn to it,even if to mock its stupidity as it provides for what isnt very common these days, "entertainment in the true sense".

But how was the movie you ask? hmmm.

Chandramukhi-Theatre Scene

2005-04-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

Southiedom is totally fun--absolutely love the trip to local saravanabhavan and immersing self in total tamil chatter [vennai, aapu, soooper all inclusive]. Guy could never get why, but put that down to his innate MBCTness [Mumbai Born Confused Tamilian--the chembur/Matunga variety who are basically neither here nor there]. Waiting for a Rajni flick in the theatre was no 4 AM wedding, but hey, i dont complain.

So here i am, waiting patiently in what could be called a line only in amoebaland. Mom alternates between reading tamil magazine and identifying people by city-names [a "poda vennai" dialog instantly brought "madras" to her lips, while the mention of "nadu center"earned the speaker a smug "coimbatore" tag]. The guy melts into his blackberry, scanning even junk mail for want of anything to do. The show is to start half-hour late, informs the theatre-manager, prompting a shrill-seeti [whistle] from a dangerously delirious guy. Good-natured laughing immediately follows while i triumphantly look at guy as if to say "see, the fun begins now". Bespectacled uncle, grandkid in tow complains "Whaat is this saar.I thought heeyar atleast movies will start on time". He turns around hoping someone listened, i give him a small smile that indicates i heard him [so dont repeat your complaint again] but small enough so he doesnt think of me as too friendly. Uncle doesnt get the hint: "so much time they take" he adds at a lower decibel, helpfully. "Yes yes" amma jostles her way in. "Phew!" i say, thankfully, trying to squeeze out so that "god knows when in the past we must've been neighbors" chennaites could proceed when mom does the inevitable, introduces me. "This is my daughter,she lives in Fremont"-i almost except a "say hello to uncle" but thankfully mom realizes i am capable of such actions. Guy smirks from my left, and i give him a dirtylook. As his smirk continues, i do what is only right. "And this is my husband, uncle" i gleefully state. Guy gives me a sour look while nodding hello. I havent had enough. "He knows a lot of people in Cisco" i proclaim sadistically. Uncle has just mentioned his "wonly son" working in Cisco and guy hates the presupmtion by parents that cisco will contain only one indian, their child, who every other indian would automatically know.

As uncle enthusiastically describes his son [tall, about 5' 6" with spectacles. he is very popular among his friends at Cisco. Every day or other someone comes to meet him at home, he adds helpfully] Mom nods happily at well-connected son-in-law while guy mumbles something about the friggin' size of Cisco. I peer at posters of telugu and tamil flicks and flyers of uncoming events when manager proclaims doors open. Stampede ensues, with someone screaming "jaragandi jaragandi" in manner of tirupati temple. Nobody laughs, everyone holding to their loved ones as they stumble, plot and scheme for seats together. walking among empty popcorn wrappers and spilt tea, i secure three bright spots on the 10th row. comfortably far from teh screen, but probably still decibelly overwhelmed due to speakers nearby. "Oh boy!" i exclaim joyously, "its gonna start!". Guy starts for the restroom while i land a firm hand on his wrist-"how can you go NOW? What if you miss Rajni's entry scene?" i ask horrified. Guy looks equally horrified, but for different reasons and sit, resigned on chair.

The hall darkens...loud whistles erupt...and the movie begins....

Someone's On My Shoulder

2005-04-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

Massach [short for the untypeable state MA] sat firmly on the right shoulder, looking appropriately bored, even though the meeting hadnt even started. Snow-shovel was placed lazily by his side, dangling from my shoulder."Gosh, you are rather heavy" i remarked, shifting my weight a bit to balance the well-padded massach. Moving a bored eyeball towards me [well, both actually. but i dont particularly like massach and the spookier he sounds, the better for me],"duh! its still winter here aint it?" he asked in manner of trying to explain to an idiotic child. To be fair, massach had all reasons to be rude. He had been pulled out of shovel-the-frontyard activities to participate in a meeting with self, massach and soon to be ex-state, california who was yet to arrive. CA sauntered in, clad in an aloha shirt and fairly skimpy shorts even for a guy. "Aloha" he trilled prettily, sitting daintily on the empty left shoulder, light as a feather and tanned to boot [really, he had tan leather boots]. Massach groaned, "Identity crisis" he spouted venomously, "still in denial for the hawaii rejection CA?" he asked, grinning. I muttered something inaudible even to self, hoping the topic didnt balloon and take away all attention i am supposed to get. Everyone knew CA had the hots for hawaii.Hawaii, well, couldnt care less. There was nothing CA could give her, giving her no incentive to move closer to the mainland. She had the beaches, the palm trees and the cocktails-on-the-beachfront. CA was after all, a wannabe hawaii. CA was heartbroken, refusing to let go of Hawaii memories and still insisting CA was the land of sunshine, surfboards and golden beaches. EVeryone knew he went to a tanning saloon every month near LA to get the golden look, but hey, who are we to complain?

"So whats all this shing-a-din about?"he trilled, ignoring Massach. He sipped a badly made pinacolada while adjusting the sunglasses and relaxing back on my now aching shoulder. "Well" i cleared my throat, "As you both know, I had informed people yesterday I was moving out of CA and into Massach. I just wanted to make sure you were ok with this". I looked warily at CA, very well known for his "expressions of emotions" that could run for as long as a Dr.Phil show."yeah i heard it on the state-vine" he said nonchalantly, "sure, no problem!". I was hoping this was another in-denial state of CA. I was after all, a golden adopted child of CA, pretending the sun and the sand was perfect while all the time i was wondering why it was too much like pune, weather-wise. But CA couldnt care less, only too glad to let a pseudo-californian mess his purist CA race. After all, i wasnt exactly roaming around in shorts or skimpy bikinis. Nor did I consider surfing a sport. I was doing nothing to appreciate what CA had to offer, in his opinion, which he stated in no uncertain terms. So I was free to trot around to any state as i please. "Damn!" i thought, "This was supposed to be a farewell, not a happy relief discussion". I turned towards Massach, who was now comfortably pretending to snore disdainfully. "Umm Massach?" I called out. I personally thought self qualified pretty well to be a Bostonian. As my grandmom often claimed, while making onionless veggies for dinner, "we were pure brahmins" [therby foregoing tasty seasonings like garlic and onion] and well, everyone knows of the Boston Brahmins. "Do i have a choice here?" he asked, visibly unhappy about another "what is a snow shovel? you mean i have to pick at the car before driving it?" case out of extremist CA."Well, you dont you know" I muttered. "I did specify yesterday I was moving out April end. Am even looking for movers!" I say brightly."yeah, whatever" Massach says uncharacteristically pulling out vocab from CA.

"Here is your entry test" Massach says, as if everyone would be aware of it. Sealed with a firm Harvard logo, it looked like 24 pounder, with plenty of space for writing down answers. "Entry test?" i mutter, the same way i muttered "DMV Test?" to the official like i was born to bypass tests. "Its needed, you know" he says, offering a 20 minute oral exam alternative instead. I take it, hell, am an adopted californian, can talk my way through anything no? Or atleast fill my sentences with "like, you know" till am expected to stop talking. "Red Soxs is..." Massach asks, one eyebrow raised. "passe of course" i say proudly. I stand up full length to show him my bright blue knee length polka-dotted socks. "Beat this" i say proudly. Massach groans visibly while CA looks around for the recycling bin and does stress-exercises for the 7th digit on palm. "There is an option here you know" Massach says, putting the question paper down firmly. "Whazzat?" asks CA, obviously upset i dont recycle my cans and very much glad i am leaving. "Well you could tell the truth" Massach says severely. "To whom" i ask, nervous to have been caught. "To the DSSers thats who!" Massach roars. "You arent moving nowhere are you? Liar liar pants on fire. April fool's day joke is all that you had in mind"! he takes a swig out of CA's almost empty pinacolada and takes quick short breaths. "Umm" i grin stupidly. "It did work, no?" i ask glad to get this off my mind. "You claimed i suck" CA sulked.

Curtains close on sulking CA, pinacolada discovering and liking Massach and stupidly grinning self.

CA rocks guys. Thats the truth. Happy April Fools day :-)

Pleased as punch [yep resh. I still dont get why punch is pleased but it sounds nice dont it]
peppy

The Statehood Chronicles Loop

2005-03-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

Too bad Bridget Jones didnt make it to the final cut of top personalities in any of the years her book was published [yeah i know, spoof circles and pointless articles vaguely hinted at such an award, but not RECOGNIZABLY so, no?].There would've certainly be one biased vote from self for her--biased as the reason is just one phrase coined by her [remind me to come back to this term 'coined' later] "Smug Marrieds".Unless there is timesofindia.com or rediff.com noteworthy domestic violence brewing, most married folk seem decidedly smug about their state. Something about the marriage certificate maybe? Or the passing of a wedding anniv [i made it! I certainly must be qualified] leads most to believe themselves as thought-leaders about the marriage market. Fact is, marriage is very much like bhelpuri or spicy rasam that gets passed around the table. Customizable to the hilt, [groundnuts, pomogranete seeds might seem ugh to some] and as for the rasam, well, 'nobody comes close to mom' does attitude.

Hmm. Hope self did not sound like a 'biased against my own'kinda person [considering am married n all]. Why, i probably qualify well on the stereotyping front, being a sectionist to boot . While the "business-world" [those who are immediately reminded of Phoebe buffet at this term, contact me pronto kindred soul!] prefers to call those who 'dissect into littler sections to analyze or make assupmtions on'as analysts, sectionists receive no such preferential treatment. Sectionists, well, dissect the general public into easily recognizable stereotypes, thats all.

Aaanyways [said in a long-drawl mode in manner of one bored with self], was trotting along trusted links from ole faithful bloglines when chance upon an article on arranged marriages www.newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/11621/index.html by an NY lass. Turned out to be a pretty good piece that bordered vaguely on [yeah yeah i know.she a Harvard grad, but wot? harvard grads arent vague?] indian men attitudes. Was rather pleased to find surprisingly good references to how dating and arranged marriages seem like two sides to the same coin. The writer points out how the 30+ unmarrieds are badgered upon incessantly, or worse-still, given up on.

"Interesting article, that" i tell myself. "singlehood and dating disasters, eh?" Find myself soon dissecting own statehood life[Statehood life: Noun. Used to indicate very specifically single or married state of individual] for interesting anecdotes without creating enough fodder for the allegedly henpecked.Minutes pass. Nothing. I reason logically to self "If A is single and can blog nineteen-to-the-dozen [yeah, remind me on this one as well] on singlehood, can B, as a committed individual, blog atleast quarter-to-a-dozen on statehood? Pull out back on envelope and number 2 pencil and ponder furiously on statehood topics:

1) Self's successful guy-hunt that resulted in spendidly shining certificate proclaiming marriage.

2) Self's mildly sipid life with da guy bordering on excesssively sappy domestic bliss mode.

3) Self's complaint register or cliched "Men!!" observations [extend exclamatory points depending on exasperation level]

Sit back, staring intently at short unappealing list. What? I have no hilarious info to share on self's statehood? [wait! what about the time at the...blech! forget it.Even i didnt find it amusing the second time around]

Tchah! AAA YOO MEEYY BLUCK [ancient tamil song in manner of eeny-meeny-miny-mo. Absolutely unnnecessary at this point]. Statehood shtatehood--wot the heck. Just came across a blog on social norms of the middle-east...Wonder if self qualifies to lecture on the today's society? Hey presto, realize i live in one! shred previous list to create new list of topics on social norms of the current generation..1).....

Creating a delightful circle of thinking-of-writing and discarding-writing-thoughts

Peppy

Of Prudes and Prejudices

2005-03-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

California judge ruled against the state ban against same-sex marriages. Gays went rah-rah, conservatives went bah-bah and everyone decided to wait for almost a decade for an actual law/rule to come into place. Well, joy for the gays I say [nope.not being redundant there am i?]. To almost counter any kind of progress to the presumed minorities of the world, feminists decide to launch a blogHERcon-a conference for female bloggers. Hmm. Probing further, i see the issues the conference deals with. "Why are females in the minority when it comes to blogging?", "What issues do women face when they blog" and as an emphatic "feminist" statement the conference could possibly have baby-sitters et al so blogging moms bring along their totes. Ooook then.Zipping my lips and canning the hundred comments in head. Brevity being the name of the game and all that jazz.

Oh damn, ok. I give up.I HAVE to rant. I have nothing to say on the gay-marriage issue-hey, it makes perfect sense to me. All those opposing it are not gays--and those for it are gays. If a single gay guy opposed same-sex marriage [of course we arent talking closet gays who marry women and pretend to be righteous in their anti-gay claims] I would maybe reconsider the thought. But conference for female bloggers seems to be this giant step somewhere--not forward for sure. Yeah i know females who have kids have it tough, and not every female is a superhero. I also know enough females who do a splendid job of managing kids and work without feeling a sense of guilt at everything they do or dont. But i somehow could never understand these "female only" conferences unless we talking frustration management technqiues at PMS or labor. Coz, lets see now--female conferences for "female" issues talk of, to put it mildly "issues". We arent talking world hunger issues here, we talking "my office-folk expect me to be available even when there are babycare needs to take care of". To me, it strangely resembles gossiping. If you have issues, and you are there to communicate, dudettes, who you communicating TO? Feminism has suddenly stopped being a movement and moved towards a complaint register. Feminism, to me, is about issues where females arent on equal standing with men. Villages with child-marriage, infanticide when it comes to little baby girls, or simply lack of individualistic rights for females. Making time-management and people-management the main feminist issue for married females with kids, is frankly to me, a slap in the face of women who do a brilliant job managing them all well without the perennial guilt-trips. A recent article in a newsweek magazine talks of how the "soccer mom" is a myth. How moms DONT have to do it all to be termed a great soccer [or cricket] mom. Fair enough, i say. If you want your kid to be in 25 different classes, insist on protectively participating in all PTA, childgroup, girl scout and local parenting meetings as well as manage a job and take care of your home efficiently while planning for birthday parties, well, joy to you. I've seen moms [well, actually one] who doesnt think she has to be a part of all that her kid does, and frankly doesnt think the kid needs to compete in terms of extra-curricular classes he takes. The kid reads books and plays soccer, and she is a part of one parenting group that helps with carpools.period. The fact that the newsweek magazine went into a "you dont have to feel guilty for not being a supermom. Dont blame yourself, blame the government/system" seemed a bit odd, but i guess kidded moms have a better opinion there.

In anycase, so much for blogging conferences for women-to me, its the same as Football fan conferences for women, no?. "Why arent there enough football fans" asks the leader on the podium. "Well, coz there is a lesser percentage of females who watch and follow football?" meekly states a front-seater. "Aha! and whose fault is that?" asks the leader, pointing a unshaking finger at the one who dare asked the question, drawing angry glares from her neighbors.

Speaking of feminism and gay rights, herez some thot for the gray cells [question: are they REALLY gray? coz i would really like them to be called blue cells or smtg. Gray just seems, well, sad for smtg thats supposedly bright and intelligent]. My guess is, 50 years from now, both gay rights and feminism would have progressed [progress being a relative term]. Hell, kids in 2075, if all goes well would ask their mom [or moms, as gay rights progress remember?] "oooh mom-1! tell me, was it really illegal for you to marry mom-2? Did you really participate in the gay parade to demand gay-marriage? And did ALL women marry men then?" while mommy dearest picks little kid onto lap and regales stories of "those good ole days when protesting was a part-time hobby". Or a little girl runs up to dad to ask "ooh dad, Rahul tells me that in the olden days,moms always took care of children and went part-time at work for it. Is that true?" she asks with eyes wide open in wonder. And daddy dearest, having succesfully finished his 50% of tasks at home, pats her affectionately and goes "yes my little one. How odd would that be now right?". So if there is no feminism, racial bias and gay bias in the world of the future? what would prejudice and bias be based on? Color? check.done away with long back. Sex? ditto. Gays? Ditto. hmm, a world without bias would be difficult to imagine as thats probably the only constant trait in social evolution. I guess the "haves" and "have-nots" is a constant one too. Maybe "personality traits" i suppose? like "ooh! dont talk to HER! shez one of those 'Assertive ones". Nyaah, but worth a thought if world were to be biased based on personality traits for lack of anything else.Any thoughts? [this is the point when you simply pass on, writing inane random blogs down to 9:30 am didnt get my cereal today attitudes]

Stoutly Anti-urban feminist,
Sapna

Opposites Attract? Oh Really?

2005-02-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

He banged the door shut, causing the flimsy doormat to lazily move away from the door, flipping slightly at the corner. "Damn!" he muttered, glaring angrily at the now innocent doormat."It was the wind!" he shouted to the empty door and walked away from it. He nodded absently at the new neighbor, racking his head to remember the last one before finally giving up, frustrated.

She heard him allright--choosing to ignore the particularly angry tone. Sighing, she looked at her mother's vague recipe, printed from her email account. She stared at it absently for two full minutes before switching off the stove, snatching the printout to decipher her mom's words. "What is salt to taste supposed to mean" she mumbled furiously, an unknown anger rising at her mother, sleeping-no, snoring far away in Bangalore.

He glanced at her shopping list, quickly planning a route that should make most sense. Turning on the ignition, he backed up slowly, choosing not to put down the foot on the accelerator. She always hated that, wanting to reverse as quickly as possible. "As if she is always in some tearing hurry" he thought. She was like that, permanently impatient. Little things that he derived pleasure from, driving slowly in the parking lot, glancing at the cars and convertibles, could easily make her angry. "Patience!" he thought as he swerved onto the street lane. "when will she ever learn?". It always irritated him to see her rush through everything like time was running out for the world.He felt a delicious satisfaction at taking time with his shopping, knowing very well the delay will upset her even more.

She finally got the idea of the recipe, and restarted the stove.She knew very well he will take more time today, that it was an attempt to make her angrier still. She clucked her tongue loudly as she glanced at the clock "4 PM already!". How was she to know her cousin will be late by a couple of hours? She certainly couldnt turn them away when they came, even if it was for dinner instead of tea.He had become restless, worried he would miss a cricket match at a friend's place.He had paced up and down, wanting to call them and cancel their plans to come home."Whats the point in watching half of a one-day"he had asked, furious."Patience, he will never learn" she thought resignedly. He was always like that, wanting everything to go according to his whims, turning wildly impatient if it didnt. She knew very well that she could pack her cousin off after dinner well in time for the match, if only he had the patience."Serves him right if they come late" she thought savagely, now wishing they were too late for the match tonite.

He would have laughed ordinarily at the shopping list-today it made him angrier. "nanak ghee big bottle, if not mehendi ghee a small bottle, unless with a free pickle in whichcase get two [one for soumya]". He was just glad he didnt ask for the list over phone as usual. "Thinks too much!" he thought.He couldnt understand why she had to be so methodical and planned, planning for the day, the chores and errands. He used to joke that she was his school teacher, making a neat timetable for tasks to do around the house and errands to run. Now it just grated on his nerves looking at the magnetic sheets on the fridge. Even when it came to people, she overanalyzed everything. "what did she say, why did she say it, how did she say it" --she could go on for ages analyzing people after a party, thinking about each person's comment. "Pointless details" he thought. How did it matter what ghee? or what chores were planned for saturday morning. He liked to have a general idea of things and work his way to complete them, without planning."Must be a woman thing" he thought, looking at other women at the grocery store, imagining everyone to be overanalyzing shoppers and imagining their husbands to be confused souls like him.

She knew she was getting impatient at the time he took. Even if she knew it was on purpose. "I am sure he planned his route to be the most 'OPTIMAL' way to drive" she thought angrily. She hated the way he overanalyzed his driving. Shooting to the store quickly to get samosas and snacks some evenings turned into a laborious process. He would shortlist samosa shops by location, point out traffic conditions and which would be the most crowded stores at that time. Then he would map out the 'easiest' path for her--by which time she would have had her chai and sat in a huff by the T.V, insisting she REALLY didnt want samosas actually."Overanalyzer", she used to call him fondly. She preferred not to travel with him for short shopping trips anymore. Restaurants were the worst--he would pore over the menu like he was cramming for an exam, thinking about each dish and its side-servings to great detail. She pitied the waiter, often having to tell him to come back later instead of shuffle at the table,waiting for him to finish pondering over the order. She had half a mind to get the other car out and get the stuff herself. She toyed with the cordless, wondering if she should ask where he was, but decided against giving him the cheap thrill of making her angry.

At the checkout he glanced at the flowers--lilies this week. She loved them, buying them by the dozens and filling the home with the silly glass vases with the flowers. He bought a bunch at the last minute, telling himself he could justify that it was to make the home look good for the visitors. He knew she couldnt stay angry with him for long, and she positively loved little things like flowers and chocolates. He often wondered how they had grown so fond of each other, considering how different they were. She was romantic and sentimental, totally the opposite of him. He thought of it all as impractical, pointless ideas. "Like Valentine's day" he thought, giving a dirty look to the clump of red heart-shaped chocolate boxes."Another expensive dinner" he muttered. But he knew he would love taking her out, seeing her happily enjoy the day, prepare for it and make a big deal of it. Impractical fool that she was, he loved her for the same silliness. He stuffed the bunch of flowers indelicately into the shopping bag and headed to his car.

She decided not to shop by herself, that would be silly. Two bags of exactly similar groceries. If he was going to be silly and take a long time to get the groceries,so be it.He could be like that sometimes, silly and childish. Sometimes she wondered if he was even 35, he acted so immature. Like the whole big deal of a cricket match tonite. If he would think practically, it would be obvious they couldnt stay too long, and he could make it to the match. "Practical, yeah right" she thought, looking at the monstrous table he had bought, insisting it was the best strategically placed furniture for their living room. It had to be hoisted up by 4 of their movers, all beefy guys who'd demanded an insanely huge amount to bring it up. He had looked quite sheepish then, insisting it was worth it. More people had gotten hurt by the monster than used it.He had apologized and very sweetly tried to show how many ways it could be used, making her heart melt. He didnt ask for many things, she thought generously. Cricket matches were a definite craze, and she knew they didnt have too many chances to watch it. She suddenly picked up the phone to dial and waited patiently while it rang.

He knocked the door, even though he was perfectly able to use the key to open the door. He wanted to see her mood before pulling out the half-squashed flowers. He didnt have a plan for what to do if she was still angry, he simply hoped she wasnt. She wasnt. She opened the door and gave a small smile, taking the bags and trying to hug him and say sorry at the same time. He laughed, relieved. She pulled out the ill-concealed flowers, squealing delightedly. He hugged her with half his arm, mood instantly getting better. He even thought he could handle the "relatives" today. She winked at him when he said that, gaily telling him she had called it off. Her cousin was due to fly out tonite anyway, she said. "Mom will crib a bit" she said "but hey, i was never close to her anyway". They both fell laughing into the sofa, and he grimaced as he hit the monstrous table. "Do you realize how different we are, yet we always seem to patch up our differences?" she asked lazily, stretching her legs and cozying up in the corner. "I do, but hey, opposites attract right?" he said as he tried to adjust the position of the table so it wont hurt anyone, for the umpteenth time.

Warrior Poet Or Sorrier Duet?

2005-01-27T08:34:00.000-08:00

Sadly, the latter.A Duet of Ghai and his disaster-streak. In times of Bollywood taglines syndrome such as Aan: Men at work [nope.movie wasnt about road repairers either] and Baaz:The Bird [yeah. Dictionary inspired titles were the norm once] Kisna: The Warrior Poet had an exotic feel to it. Kinda like "Warriors of Heaven and Earth" or suchlike. And hey, why not? the trailors were truly exciting with horses swords and feet twirling at 45 degrees to the ground..hurrah! finally! A movie to excite international audience [raking in awards perhaps] and appease the period-movie starved desi population. A Painstaking account of a woefully painful pain of a panned movie [oh allright.pain pain pain.you geddit right?]

Oh, damn! you actually clicked on "read more". duh! didnt i tell ya was a lousy movie? Let me guess, you into a "i want to read for myself and make an informed decision" mode? Well allrighty then dude..you asked for it [rolling up sleeves and practicing ear-wriggles to scare off opponent]

So am well seated in near empty theatre carefully trying to avoid popcorn on floor [as they make crunchy noise and sometimes i like that noise and sometimes i dont and and..screech!] I dont know about you, but the whole swishing logos of any production company excites me in a theatre so waiting patiently for mukta arts to come up. Hey, whats this? Ah ok. An ad for Ghai's Institute for film-making. shabana azmi and a host of others speak eloquently of the institute. Try darnest best to be in "aha!india's answer to NYU film institute" mode and almost succeed as still in good-natured mood.

Movie titles--hurrah!! beam happily at companions who are intensely analyzing structure of popcorn [not the one picked from the floor. One from a NEW packet]. Notice a black and white horse all through titles and ponder over significance of this perceivably reused "Mcdowells whisky" kinda clip but let it pass.

Old liddy from Britain in a reminescent mode attempting to recall "myera keeeesna"--suitably impressed by the mouthing of hindi dialogs et al. Flashback begins with Brit family in hillytown of india. Little girl pally with little boy and other little girl unhappily dancing in jealousy.so far, so good. Little girls, as expected become big girls as do the boys and allz well till brit girl is on the run during independence time--sure enough, along hops little boy aka kisna to help distressed damsel.

Significant moment in the movie- This is the point when Ghai fills up the application form to take leave of his senses. Application approval comes through at this poignant moment and Ghai whoops in delight and proceeds to mess the movie, inch by inch, meticulously in manner of a craftsman whoz profession is to destroy.

A few things that work in the movie first though [like grandmoms insist you put an "om" above test paper for goodluck--and then you proceed to fill it up with trashiest garbage as a paradoxical joke]

The Music: A.R Rehman and Ismail Darbar are fantastic. Background scores rock, only the action on the screen couldnt keep up with it.

Cinematography: Surprisingly inconsistent. Puzzling repetitions of same shots over and over again as if the cameraguy lost all the film he had recorded shots on and is reusing 5 basic shots to salvage his paycheck.To be fair, those few shots are good.

Dances: The new actress'[isha sharwani] dance routine is probably what antara mali lamely attempted in Naach. She is phenomenally good, but her dance has been overused like my pair of faded denims. Barely tolerable towards the end. She has attempted to skillfully blend classical dance with gymnastic movements and is brilliant. But it soon gets downright ridiculous when she climbs up the veins of a banyan tree at the drop of a hat --strongly resembling the betaal in vikram-betaal.

Sushmita sen in yeah, an "item" number: Yeah i know.Item numbers are hardly the highlight of a movie, but this woman sizzles still. She is awkward at Kathak--a dance for the nimble footed that she certainly isnt. But she is arresting and the visuals for this particular song are extremely appreciable.

The Actors: They did the best they could. Crippled by a lousy script written by a person obsessed with killing the movie, they could only do so much. The British actress is appreciable, but not as much as the hype claims. She is refreshing to begin with and soon wilts soon enough, justifiably so. For a professional dancer, Isha is good--expressions she excels in and that makes her acting adequate. Vivek Oberoi seems tired and jaded---not surprising.He probably has no clue what to do--where to put the effort. Its only towards the end that he seems to perk up to act-only to succumb again to mindblowingly crazy dialogs.

The actual awful hell of it all

The script, dialogs and oh well, the direction.

Yeah i know--what else to a movie right? Its like great naan and nothing for it to go with--buttery naan is all very good and all but dude, wherez the curry?

Script ran like most of my blogs do--loses steam soon. The only bonding you could see onscreen was between Kisna and his brother, an angle that was starved of development inspite of potential. chemistry zilch between the main guy and his lady love[s]. an ill-placed vivek mushran looks cheesy, and unnecessary.Towards the end you can sense Ghai's panic-mode- here is an excerpt to prove that.

Kisna and Elizabeth scooting into faridabad enroute to delhi. Suddenly confronted by Violent looking men who demand to know if Kisna is a Hindu or Muslim [partition-time hungama conveniently used]. Valiant Hero replies "i am kisna" [duh!] and proceeds to massacre them. Running continues--encounter a buncha cops on the lookout for them [one policeman actually goes--'license plate ENG 999. Matlab 1000 se ek kam"] and escape again. Badass lecherous villain scoops elizabeth into godown and unbelievably, does a "mard kaun hai main dikhata hoon" routine [a pointless backshot of elizabeth to invoke sympathy in manner of 80's movies]. Kisna thrashes guy and runs again--when another buncha guys turn up to ask [ahem] "tu hindu hai ki musalman" [GROAN!] Elizabeth [who strategically places a cross on kisna's chain] proceeds to lecture them on a "kyooon aisa jagda kaaar raaahe ho". And, hold your breath, just when recurring villain is thrown into a burning building a minute later, elizabeth is trapped needlessly [wot an attention hog] under a jeep. The punchline of this whole narration? the above happened in 10 minutes flat.

Dialogs: Suck. Subhash Ghai has this great concept of a movie, an interesting time period but proceeds to make a ram lakhan or a trimurti out of it. He just cant get out of that mode, period. Dialogs range from "You wait here. Lemme go get the tickets awright?" mouthed by a hindustan ki kasam kisna in 1947 to "arey yeh to india hai.yahaan sab chalta hai" by illiterate village belle [huh? they dont say that even now!].Inconsistency with the period for sure, but the dialogs are no different from 1980's masala flicks and that grates on me a bit.

Subhash Ghai has officially lost it- While there arent many movies i WANT to like [unless by ramgopalvarma or is a spiderman flick] this one disappointed me inspite of the many allowances I gave as 'small mistakes'.

Yet, this movie should stand out as a brilliant example of how when actors, music directors, most cinematography and choreography and concept could be GREAT a director and an editor can single [or double] handedly butcher it.

I havent seen any movie of Ghai's after Khalnaayak [which i really liked] and i've been told i shouldnt be surprised considering pardes, taal and yaadein. I would have much preferred seeing his brilliantly conceived trailors bunched together on big-screen. And for the curious, he does appear in the movie [thankfully not as a bespectacled villager on a bullock cart] but after the titles pointing needlessly into the horizon in a brave sunset pose.

Another weird note: I am no movie reviewer, but I have come across reviews that either call the movie brilliant [which leads me, the conspiracy theorist, to believe they were bought over] and others who vaguely claim the movie to be inspired by titanic [sheesh! coz the old lady remembers kisna. Desperate association?] or [hold your breath] last of the mohicans [dont even ask who. (psst taran adarsh on indiafm)] just coz its the fight of two lovers in bad times [like every other 'romantic' flick isnt].

Deciding to analyze popcorn structure at the cinemas the next time,
Sapna

Newsies Daisies

2005-01-24T14:58:00.000-08:00

Ha! And my mom thought it was impossible for her color-blind dotter to see beyond blue. Am entirely in pink today, owing to wham-bam sale of 15$ pants and 10$ shirts [ooh notice mom! am talking shopping too!]..anyways, a monday couldnt be prettier. Watched a moonset on my right and the almost-peek of a sun on the left as i drove up a bridge to work..acted on what is the 21st century impulse for a second and rummaged for my cameraphone to click with--when better sense got to me and I just grinned at the sun and the moon and drove on to remember it forever. Unless alzheimer's or amnesia strikes me, I can talk howmuchever i please on this morning and even exaggerrate to heart's content--coz hey, aint got a jpg proof ;-) Herez the newsies for the day folks--served with the sun, a moon and a few shining stars.

At the other end of the spectrum--a guy whoz [ahem] a psychiatrist in seasonal disorders [seriously seriously..you didnt think someone wasnt gonna pick on the "winter blues" brand of moneymaking did ya?] claims today is the most depressing day of the year.scientifically so. Ever wonder how day by day man mocks his own discovery--science by degrading it in manner of subhash ghai's kisna? Hmph ok. There was no need to plug that in, but maybe will dedicate another blog entirely on it. Though think about it--both create something and proceed to meticulously ridicule the creation by messing with it. Which is why i believe in neither science nor art--i believe in observing life as one would observe an ant climbing up with its breadcrumb. a look of mild amusement and tad bit of curiosity. But if the ant died or the breadcrumb crushed it or a spider ate the bread and the ant, i can yawn and walk along, flicking the minutest of sympathies off my braincells as one would flick dust off the steering wheel.

Speaking of conspiracies and theories [umm..were we speaking on it? there you go, reading absently again. of course we werent..wake up now] have you noticed how one of the most favorite pastimes of people during our childhood was to kill away celebrities. Before you raise that protesting hand [or voice] allow me to explain. Remember that Nirma girl? [washing powder nirma.NIRMA!] how many were told she died? [counting 12 hands]. How about the Rasna girl? [counting 11 hands]. How about the guy who acted with sonali bendre in that remake of 'you've got mail'? [ooh 6 hands!!] well,case in point. We like killing people. murdering them, making them commit suicide. Everytime you sit and wonder, whatever happened to, lets say..Nagesh [the comedian in tamil movies] or Utpal Dutt, you will invariably write him off as dead.why is that i wonder? And then outta the blue comes news that a parveen babi is dead and you go, "oh! thought she already died". Why cant our minds write them off as having moved countries? or gone joined the army? why kill them? in anycase, parveen babi died for sure this time. as did amchi Mogambo, god bless him [or say hi to him for me if we getting spiritual here]. and for all of us who got regularly confused between parveen babi and zeenat aman, be confused no more.

Republic day coming up folks--cant say i entirely miss the parade [only remember the kids atop an elephant--kids to be honored for being brave and wishing someone set fire to mean aunt's home downstairs and i could save her.some wishes never do come true do they?] Lotsa things for us to be proud of --excluding subhash ghai movies [OK! will stop i swear]. Sania Mirza being on top of list--did anyone read that moronic inteview of hers on rediff? [another peeve.rediff.wots with me? am turning into my own grandmom] interviewer insisted on asking her to choose between paes and bhupati for mixed doubles. Female refused to give in to moronic whims--wot was she sposed to do? giggle and choose one and claim its coz paes looks smarter? duh questions man..methinks in a social free-for-all world interviewers should just choose top 10 questions voted for by readers than tax braincells so.

Oh and a case-in-point for the biggie IT companies becoming like a coveted convent school [say it..rolls off the tongue quite nice] Wipro charges 70000 Rs. for new employees instead of tie-them to a bond so they dont run away with trained knowledge. Smart tactics some would say-but just reminds me of neighbors hoping to god their kid gets into swanky convent school and run around trying to get the "school deposit" cash.

Sunnily Moony,
Sapna

K.N.O.C.K.-OUT

2005-01-19T11:36:00.000-08:00

Knowledge and News Overload Chuck Komputer Out until Trashed.

well,ok. Computer aint spelt Komputer, but i am on a low-carb diet of Kwality icecreams and Krispy Kremes,so I can be blamed only so much for bad spelling.And I meant chuck computer out till KNOWLEDGE trashed, not the computer [hugging my PC in manner of mother to child in bollywood movies]. The point is, there is too much information out there..and too many ways to get our hands on them.As well as pressure to know them all, so choose wisely..Incase i lulled you into a false sense of a sensible blog, look away. This is one of my usual miserable apology of a blog [though carefully note i apologize nowhere] for not blogging what i should.Sortof like making maggi for a meal when guests are invited, but hey..Maggi does give you the sense of tummy-fullness like a meal doth dont it?

Post-hibernation, here are the newsies for da day!

Photo management--Now that everyone I know has transitioned to digital photos and cameras [mom can make-do with her webcam considering the only need is to take photos of dresses i approve or disapprove], this isnt that abhorred a topic. Well yeah, everyone pays taxes too so maybe i should talk of TurboTax? True, but hey..my blog.I can damn well talk on what i please.In anycase, adobe photoshop is talked, dissected and analyzed to death. Bottomline, it rocks.How about photo management software? Adobe Photoshop album has some cool management features like tags so you know whoz in the pix, tags for location and tags for event and dates,blah blah. So you effectively can search for photos that are tagged "dad" and "india" to get all pics of dad in india. pretty nifty methot. Picassa is out with its latest edition that i havent tested yet, but herez a neat review of both. http://searchenginewatch.com/searchday/article.php/3460061

My fav.magazine, Wired [yeah, i subscribe to it. Yeah, i know print magazines are dead. and No, i dont care. I even get Reader's digest, so there!] covers an interesting story on Tech Searches that matter--technology used during catastrophic conditions. I already knew of the sound-sensors used in california mud-slides this month,but some of the other stuff listed is pretty amazing. check it out at http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,66323,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_3

Also covered is an interesting article on the new darling of press, moms at 50+. Its smtg i've been watching for the past year.Press reports excitedly covering women who became momst at 50,60 and 75. While it might be delightful news for most early 30ers, herez the lowdown on what these reports are NOT telling you.http://www.wired.com/news/medtech/0,1286,66322,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_2

Ok ok..i follow slate too [why are they still on MSN though? thot they were sold to WP?]..and yes, i know bushisms are passe..but any retrospective mood of yours of the past year warrants a good read of this. http://slate.msn.com/id/76886/
My fav? "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—George Bush, Sept. 6, 2004 Poplar Bluff, Mo. and "This is historic times."—New York, N.Y., April 20, 2004. What do you think guys? Are bushisms a deliberate PR strategy to get him noticed when most couldnt care less about his speeches?

Post fancy talk on the plush interiors of the A380, herez some realistic expectations http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,66325,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_1.

And no, i aint listing the Brad-Jenny split.Not to indicate i couldnt care less [he wanted kids she didnt.but she was planning to when he popped the question [of divorce that is]] so its not that i dont follow it, but its just that Brad and Jenny asked for support and considerate action by us, the people.sniff.

Knocked in,
Sapna

Death to Zonga

2004-11-15T13:19:00.000-08:00

hmm..do i DARE? do i have the guts? do i actually bombard the readers with yet another blog? [biting nails furiously for a second to decide. Realization that bitable nails do not exist pushes me over the edge] Go for it sister! screams my typing-addicted fingers.whoooosh [sound of blog tornado hitting you..coz you still readin this aint ya?]

well oook--since y'all insist so.hey, hey..stop the jostling.everyone gets to read. its a blog after all, not a limited edition newspaper.Its official, the whole world is in on this conspiracy.Manchurian candidate be damned, (actually spare the manchurian.and box it to go please?) this conspiracy tops it all. listen carefully as i outline this daring plot to corrupt the world and earn greedy millions off it.

2000 A.D-Greedy Dr.Zonga discovers a brilliant way to fleece millions from the unsuspecting world. He cackles evilly at his master plan, one that cannot go wrong, carefully plotted and schemed in a way only his devious mind would work. He proudly looks at his partners in crime, and booms in manner of mogambo "Begin" and the wheels of his world-destructive plan started to roll.
The effects of his deceitful plan werent apparent initially..a few oomph models planted on TV Ads..digitally enhanced (or is that dehanced) waistlines started appearing in magazines...desirable weights went from healthy to undernourished..definitions of beauty and pretty included waistlines that could be bangle-sizes instead.soon, vanity started taking over as the world's fav hobby. food portions reduced to bite-sized salads for lunches and dinners. everybody started panicking about weights and waists...Dr.Zonga laughed evilly in his cave and pushed into motion the second part of his plan--malls and department stores started swapping dress sizes--"L" sizes became "M" and the medium sizes were swapped with "S". Worse still, "S" size were replaced by children sizes of clothes. women started to panick when they realized they could no longer fit into their M size dresses..and the shock of having to switch to L sizes instead terrorized them. Diet plans invaded the market like bees when the beehive is broken. Atkins became a national icon. Dr.Zonga had even invaded the detergent market, contaminating the detergents and soaps so they shrunk clothes when washed. Horrified women discoverd clothes bought yesterday didnt fit them today and ran weeping to diet clinics, all run by Dr. Zonga. He minted millions by saving cloth and making smaller sized clothes and selling them in L and M sizes. he secretly made deals with magazines and televisons to promote digitally altered pictures of celebrities. he laughed victoriously as the confused world ran helter skelter in search of the unattainable figure..his partners in crime, garment manufacturers, diet-clinic owners and the media popped open a bottle of champagne and claimed victoriously, "my favorite vice---vanity" in manner of Al pacino in Devil's advocate.

Moral of the story

when in the morning you wake
look at the weighing machine and shake
when in the mirror you look
and wish your waistline someone else took.
remember my friend, Dr.Zonga laughs.

When you go a-shopping
and find clothes where buttons apopping
you sit in the trial room and cry
about how fat you are and sigh,
remember, Dr. Zonga laughs

When you gaze wistfully at dessert
but the thought of calories make you hurt
and you stick to your sandpaper salad
remember, Dr.Zongo then sings a ballad.

when celebrities filled with fame
make you tear up in shame
when you wonder for the 100th time
a waist of 24! you pine!
remember, Dr. Zonga smirks.

as a guilt-ridden tiramisu eater,
sapna

crash boom bang

2004-11-11T13:48:00.000-08:00

welcoming myself back into blogosphere [applause dies down in manner of rock artiste song on CD]. and whats been happening while me gone? Bush re-elected (anyone actually surprised there?) Arafat died (in what has been now claimed to be the longest death since the death of Janet jackson controversy) uma bharti recorded the costiest temper tantrum ever and movies flooding the woods (holly and bolly) after almost a decade around diwali time.

While i look at my topic collection to pick and harp on,herez a though to munch on. I call home for the diwali talk---an act of utter pointlessness as i repeat the same questions and answers to 5 members of the family individually (actually its 4.but add one owing to disturbed connection and confusion at home with extension phones). after the initial pleasantries of wishing a happy diwali in chaste tamil (a feeble attempt, but diwali is the time i do a check-in with my southie roots). a quick check and compare on gifts/clothes received and the inevitable "what are you doing". answers to this may vary according to family members. Brother would've just woken up, mom would busily hustle around doing the same things she does everyday, except she looks more important today. Dad does the customary "rocket" at 5 AM and then waits for it to be 7 AM so he can start shooting calls. The usual "you called! i was JUST going to" followed by another round of pleasantry exchange. And at precisely 8:30 AM everyone is bored already. the amul chocolate dilemma of "too old for fireworks, too young to go and sleep again" dwells. Mom insists on a puja where everyone quickly runs out of prayers to recite and the time-biding happens till the ding of 10 AM when the TV springs to life with diwali specials (SUN TV no less. the format apparently remains the same -new releases, interview with a jaded star, interview with a new actor/actress (who may or may not know tamil) and the debate that for the life of me, i could never understand).Lunch follows soon enough and then a guilty nap (how can you sleep on diwali, mom complains as she turns over for another snooze)...and so on and so forth. Do i miss it? damn sure i do. Much earlier in my life i insisted mom recite her childhood stories of diwali that included waking at 4 AM to oil baths and unlimited firecrackers (as moms are wont to claim, they were the richest family on their street so had such luxuries). Wistful as i am on such strong diwali traditions, I do miss the ones at home with Sun TV and boxes of dry fruits some fella at dad's office insisted on distributing (stale nuts sometimes, but the fancy boxes were VERY reusable). But in these years away from home, guess what? i made my own little tradition. So what if diwali was when i decided it would be? (pref the saturday so that i can clean the home in the morning and rest the next day from that cleaning). So what if foodstuff made was bought at a "bharat bazaar" in cans and instant food packets? so what if everyone gaped at each other when we are supposed to pray coz nobody knew a prayer? (my guy has the best one, "everyone be happy" in tamil). So what if lighting diyas depended on where smoke-detectors didnt hover? Its my tradition, and my way of doing the diwali.

whooops..did i just get emotional and senti there? hm..looks like i did.pshaw! atleast its my first blog after eons...have already started typing the next blog so hurrah!! diwali brought me back to blogworld. without a bang!

regretting senti-blog immediately after typing it,
sapna

Am disappointed in you, Helen!

2004-10-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

well, there was potential, there was the "could have been", there was drama and hype..but no fizz was there? nope..not talking of the latest hindi flick folks..is St.Helens up in Washington..all that fizz for nuthin..could've atleast done something couldnt she? anyways.read about it on National Geographic

speaking of dismal flops, aishwarya was needled for her choice of formal westerwear for the premiere of bride and prejudice...some fella called it a "nightdown with a poodle at her neck". pish posh! who cares? well i do when i got 20 minutes of lunch actually...in anycase, the movie is being hyped about insanely..which sickens me..i mean, look what hype did to the likes of mani ratnam, farhan akhtar...in anycase, dont they know better than to let the media badger on it incessantly?

ooh in other news, Johhny Depp is gonna act in a movie titled shantaram..whoa! before rediff rides the " india is a global name now" vehicle, lemme give ya the scoop..the movie is set in india but is about an australian..phew! howmuchever i like the fella, scary visions of stumbling over hindi and trying to pass off as an indian, i dont wanna see.

well well well..sometimes you sitting there, contemplating and all those things..thinking of possibilities..and answers to profound questions like who am i? does god exist? and what happens if you pour gasoline down the toilet? well the first my mom would be happy to answer with a few choicy adjectives, for the second my brother will point at his mirror and the third, yahoo news takes responsibility for.check here

Profoundly,
Sapna

Well Well Well

2004-10-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

Now know how to split water from the milk and whipped cream from the dessert - those who asked "whither art me" or questions to that effect, here i am! and for those who didnt, you should know you are water or whipped cream equivalents in the blogging world.

Well well well..am back from a giddyingly enjoyable vacation and an equally giddyingly busy week (in my world..wednesday marks the end of the week..thursday and friday are wannabe weekdays). and what do i see? presidential debates with tongue-tied parrots, vice presidential debates with insane exaggerations and SP2 on my desktop! The first amuses me, the second doesnt interest me and the third alarms me.Gingerly felt around my desktop and browsers and wonder of wonders, my PC aint dead yet!Hurrah..i survived another SP attack!

In the local world, everything has been going on just fine without moi. ants comfortably took over the kitchen, inspite of feverent prayers my living room did not self-clean while me gone and the library charged me 30 c for a delayed book...do i care? nyaah..am too busy copying photos onto the PC and attacking them with myriad photo-editing tools. which brings me to the point of the blog (yeah yeah..miraculously i do have it sometimes)

Does one even realize how mind-boggling the world of digital cameras and photos have gotten? if you thought the evolution stopped at digital cameras and printers that could print the photos for ya..you deserve to rub your nose in digital mud. Tinkering around my yahoo photos this week, i found stuff as listed below:

1 embarassing snap of me, embarassing myself further in the kitchen ( in manner of cooking, if that puts ideas at ease)

a guide to taking great digital photos
a guide to photo editing software
a list of ways i could print me photos...fiddled around with it and hey presto! got a mail with our mini cooper as a fridge magnet!

After working on changing colors, creating musical slideshows of photos and creating disconnected movies out of 20 second clips (yep..am prancing around a beach in manner of sridevi to the music of late 80's romantic ballad in the end product), i finally pronounce myself ready for a sophisticated photo editing tool.trust me, its mind-boggling what you can do with photo-editing software these days..from 12 month calendars to magazine covers to collage and absolutely amazing edits and enhacements, they rock the photo world!

Best part is, its right there on your PC..not in some dingy dark room...photography can be a "do"able hobby now! all you need is your digital camera and a 40$ software...yahoo photos and suchlike even print it for 30c apiece. my fav? head-swapping features! muaahaaa..

am back in the blogosphere guys..more on my trip and news coming soon!

No more a hot-shot baby,
Sapna

Off to wallpaper country

2004-09-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

or so it seems on websites that list lodging in vermont.my ears got sick of listening to folks (actually one particular fella whoz been on the east coast enough to qualify speaking of fall colors incessantly)..so my brain readily agreed to a trip to the likes of vermont, maine and boston.kinda a patelpoint thing ya know? wha?? you dont know the patelpoint phenomenon?jeez..and you call yourself a patriotic netizen.shame on ya!even though its an invalid website (my giggling goat comrade conned me on this one), the concept of patel point is based on the notion that most indians compulsorily visit the socalled "tourist spots" just coz its called one.you know, the botanical garden and the lake in ooty varieties (since have lived in ooty, can promise there are way more cooler places around there).anyway, so its a tick mark thingie..mystery spot, check. golden gate bridge, check..mystery house in san jose, check. well, wanna do a check on fall colors so am off on a trip that includes alamo car rental (no guarantees on CD players, arent they a government-required accessory these days?) cottages with cheesy wallpapers (is this the kinda place where cottage cheese was born?) and long drives that go through woods that hopefully look like the background in "the hero". not the indian movie god no!! (i should know, dragged 10 folks to watch this trash in ahem a theatre)

Wallpaper my soul
sapna

I have a dream- and i aint MLK

2004-09-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

I bet everyone read articles that go "Amisha patel chipped a toenail" to "Kareena kapoor is not a morning person".how could you not? its right up there, unblinkingly starting at you, from the headlines of rediff.coms and timesofindia.coms. The main page of any news website, i say, is like your front-page of newspaper. And even if the sanctity of newspapers are long since gone (dunno how the hindu is doing now), respect the frontpage.please.

Admittedly, it is but practical to expect a certain dilution of the lines that seperate such distinctions online. And i am the one who raises a bored eyebrow at all the remix-haters as well as the ones who lament "where did good ole quality songs go?". (am trying to prove a point that i am a 'progression' tolerant person). Evolution, like it or not, includes change. Remixes are a change, a fad, the same way mohammed rafi was to some. I bet my lunch that great grandmothers scoffed rafi and mukesh songs. so live with it, remixes and rap or not.

But i do have a problem when i am expected to be tolerant of demented news just coz "tabloid press" is the new fad...news is news, information, uninterrupted and preferably unpolluted. music, howmuchever you love it is still entertainment. Why would i see newsertainment as a useful source for either?and dont even get me started on the "caught inbetweeners", movie and music reviewers.

Therefore guys (or dudes if you prefer. i consider them gender neutral terms btw), i have a dream.not necessarily along the lines of MLK though. an institute to IITisque proportions, only its IIHA (right. as in the donkey or the war cry sound). Indian Institute of Humanities and Arts. For journalism, news reporting, creative writing or critique writing.yeah yeah laugh if you will..but in my head, its a glorious institute..with established journalists for teachers..vir sanghvi and prannoy royish folks as head of departments and admirable graduates. I have it all planned out, its got the journalism department, the News department, graduation programs in advertising, creative writing. ooh ooh..everything thats media and is right...A standard my friends, set by the highest in these fields. Standards never hurt anyone, atleast it distinguishes good from the bad. high schoolers will vie to get in, engineering wouldnt always be the field for anyone above 88.7% aggregate. of course, since it will be so damn successful i shall expand into other humanity programs as well as hire the top creative minds in and out of the country to participate. i will also earn oodles of money and start my own media company, but it will end up as a biased organization that eventually reports whats hot in tabloid news coz i need the money.

but before that happens, i will sit, a cuppa tea in hand..comfy in my sofa, browsing through crisp news, brilliant reporting and pathbreaking investigations that dont end at discovering how many stitches salman khan needed after pounding ash's door.

eeeehhhaaa
sapna

Of earth shattering quakes and brain shattering thoughts

2004-09-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

tsk tsk..spoke too soon didnt i?words flew outta my keyboard and i regretted it instanter..actually a couple of minutes later..you see, a certain righteously outraged MBA i know insisted on pointing me to this site..apparently MBA's ( a term not meant in a derogatory sense mind you. lets just classify all folks who compulsorily use words > 12 characters as MBA's shall we? even if it might be sewing a button, so you know where they stand linguistically) have come into the class of doctors, lawyers, etc. Apart from the singular similar factor being their payscales, they now share a penchant of creating "unknown but handily invented words".well, this site hosts a tool that helps you with the paradigm shifts, literally..it translates the multi-syllable words for your character challenged friends and family..hmm, note the especially sympathetic tone on the page. Do i really wanna be sympathized for my need for simplified language? but to give these guys credit, they atleast tried to create an "MBA dictionary", so to speak.
http://www.deloitte.com/dtt/section_node/0,1042,sid%3D34248,00.html
In other shattering news, earthquake in central california guys..checkhttp://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&e=4&u=/ap/20040928/ap_on_re_us/calif_quakedidnt feel a thing though. reading the news shook me more than the earthquake itself...visions of cracking roads and falling bridges haunted me.. i could almost hear creaking and low rumbling...shudder shudder!and then, there was lunch.
new generation TV guys..tv shows over phone lines..for the TiVO enthusiasts and the downloadable movie geeks, herez a new hype to keep you happy..http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,65105,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_11
a question though..is there such a a thing as "too many choices"? transitioning from watching news for the hearing impaired just coz there was nothing else, to watching whatever you feel, whenever you feel like and wherever you feel like, have we lost anything? does evolution have to necessarily mean we become more demanding?is it just me, or does anyone else see that breaking your head over 2000 movie choices for 2 hours, and then doing in-office yoga for work-related stress somehow seems ironic? is it just possible, that too many choices is actually too much of an overload? think about it...your brain is making choices from your toothpaste in the morning to your complicated coffee order to the right choice of traffic route home..and then therez "stress" that everyone complains of..if you were to simplify your life, in terms of choices,could you actually be more productive?

seemingly unproductive,
sapna

Damn Paradigm Shift

2004-09-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

Thats it..I am officially creating a list of words i do not wish to hear..or read..ever again..and wait for my browser to include such a capability soon (google browser maybe? its in the plans apparently). First on my list? the infamous "paradigm shift". As a wise pal once observed, albeit cynically, paradigm shift will soon describe my furniture moving efforts. I moved my sofa to the corner of the room and the paradigm shift was phenomenal! bah! am all for newfound lingo mind you..but overuse is painful, be it of new words or my old cushions (jeans are exempt)..my list of peeve words?
Paradigm shift
Global village (who did this one?seriously,who created this term?)
Cutting edge technology

there should be an expiry date to these terms..I am also seriously planning to look into MBA curriculum to see if there is a sneak entry of linguistics 101 where the test is to create a term or phrase that can be silently unleashed onto suspecting (unsuspecting am not) readers and listeners..oooh..how about "Should the cutting edge technology in today's global village expect a paradigm shift?" could everyone please just simplify sentences and let others live?

I have great potential to end up in a "caught in the headlights" mode..there have been many a tongue-biting, head slapping moments..but i've never been caught surprised as i did when visiting my fav restaurant a couple of days back..yeah yeah! i know the hardcore meatlovers hate this place, but good ole southies like moi had to do a high-five to anyone who utters "saravanabhavan", if they can pronounce it that is..
so here i am, seated amidst roaring waves of children-screams..contemplating if i would seem like a glutton or just a food connoisseur when the waiter hops along to take moi order..i begin with my appetizer choice, when i hear a murmer from the guy..i blink rapidly, but proceed to the entree..and then sure as hell, i hear him right..he is excitedly applauding my choice with the top three favorite southie words "excellent! marvelous!beautiful!" umm..hello? i know there would be training days for waiters in the name of patience et al, but positive feedback for customer choices was a tad too much you think? what am i supposed to say at the end of my order? thank you for your feedback?the man is positively jumping around applauding my choices for god's sake! some MBA out there methinks, devising a customer interaction module for these fellas that includes an element of "applaud your customer choices" ..think of the effects of such a trend my friend, what if the grocery fella applauded your choice of tomatoes? or worse still, criticized your choice of junk food in the name of feedback? you are being judged dude, along with moms dads and siblings, along with bosses and unknown friends, you are being judged by the attendants, waitresses, store clerks and icecream vendors.screeeech!!

judgementally,
sapna

Robotics - No Nerd Stuff

2004-09-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

Thats it..post "Da Vinci Code" (which i hear is a one-time hit book by the author..other books by him aint that good..izzat true?) am hooked,eyeballs and fingertips (to turn pages) to Isaac Asimov. I remember reading his short stories in junior school, but sortof got weaned into Nancy Drew and magazines before i could hit books again...reading his collection of short stories (called Isaac Asimov Gold collection or smtg..ha!who said reading helps memory?)..a couple of interesting stuff from the man...he contributed the words Psychohistory and robotics to the english dictionary..cool huh? what does it take to contribute to the english dictionary i wonder...have a neat set of words that i use myself, at selective inopportune moments with the sole aim of embarassing myself.. would they qualify? anyyways..i digress again (now THAT is my middle-name..digress).some stuff about his approach to story-writing...analogies..Now, take the theory of psychohistory (his preferred definition of the term is "a phenomenon not dissimilar to mob psychology- wherein you cannot predict the individual choices but can predict the mass psychology) ..he pulled it out as an analogy from quantum theory of gases, where you cannot predict the movement of one gas molecule but can fairly accurately define the theory of the whole mass of molecules based on known parameters..
Not nerdy stuff mind you..its a method to writing stories..just as people research into historical events and place their characters in it (ala Robert Ludlum or Fredrick Forsyth) or the totally frilly imagination of Sidney Sheldons..am no B.A in storywriting but the analogical way of story writing seems quite fascinating..more on Asimov as i devour books!

Anyways..the reason i was hungrily devouring books was a certain entity's undying interesting in Golf PGA tour..Couldnt bring myself to watch Golf too, so made myself comfy with a book with regular peeks into the telly when ads came on (its crazy i tell ya..i can watch ads for hours and skip hte actual show..i actually spend atleast a couple of hours a week watching ads incessantly while swiftly switching channels when the show comes on..adaholic anyone?) In anycase...i simply HAD to sit up boltright when the guy who came second or smtg (who cares?) excitedly tells the interviewer " yeah..i was on FIRE during the last few holes"..now! i know this common american phrase as used popularly..Unless its me cooking, when it has to be taken literally...it usually is something that a Mike Tyson says when he punches out someone..or when a race-car driver is zipping into the finish line..now thats being on fire...ever heard of a chess player suggesting he/she was on fire in the last game? Forgive me Vijay Singh wannabes, but when a golfer says he was on fire, i gotta smirk..not unlike how i would if my mom said she was on fire when she cross-stitched (which she doesnt btw..she figured she has a daughter, and outsourcing,like charity might as well start from home).

now for the weird news...a guy who was run over by a train, loses his legs, but still is fined for causing the train delay..wha?? nope, not kidding..think about it..the guy was beaten up in a bar, left on the tracks to die..gets run over..loses both legs..and hey presto! get a fine for train delay in his mailbox..heartless i tell ya..check it out here

Legs fine and unfined yet,
Sapna

What's Up On Ketchup?

2004-09-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

Crazy stuff actually - everyone knows the deal on Heinz ketchup. For the "caught unawares", the democratic nominee for prez's wife is the widow of the ketchup baron.phew..kinda like identifying that familiar face at weddings...anyyways..suddenly all the bbq parties and mcdonalds find themselves branded democratic (which they might as well be) if they use heinz ketchup..the true-blue republicans are either swearing off heinz ketchup(perfect opp for amchi maggi ketchup ya think?) or declaring themselves mustard-folk..well well well, its not by who you are, but what you eat that defines your party-loyalty..bring on the fries!!

In anycase, whats the big deal anyway...between bush and kerry, its all in the family according to an article here. The two are ninth cousins, twice removed if its to be believed. I dont need a degree in relational mathematics (ya think it exists?) to figure thats the same odds as me being related to Britney spears (ouch! or is that oops?) ..but seriously? am related to Jayalalitha and Hema Malini..so when i get obese or sleepy-voiced...blame it on me genes!

Btw...for all the folks who want indian TV as a change from reality shows here, freeze that though. preferably bury it. Ya know the Gudiya story right? (you don't? sheesh..wot WOULD you do without me i ask)..anyway, gudiya is the woman who remarried coz she thot her 10-day married hubby was lost in pakistan..and since was declared a deserter n all, was presumed dead..but then the fella returns..and village-folk are in a "moral" (note the quotes melord) dilemma...then a TV Show takes over..puts them all on the stage, new hubby (whose kid shez preggy with btw) old hubby, parents, gudiya, neighbors and milkman...and make instant-decisions based on kazis and suchlike, live on the telly i tell ya..and then send her home to old hubby..bah!! wonder if they plan to dub jerry springer or have a desi version of his show now?

anyways..onto the Fibber Fibonacci for the day..yesterday's winner is dharma (he listens to NPR instead of work)..and the rite answer was the story on german phone guys who are planning on cellphones that warn the user of body odor (as one of my loyal reader on sulekha.com asks, what if the fella wears a stinking perfume?ah well, never mind)...today's theme? What's in a name?

1) A man from Branson renamed himself to "They" with no lastname to prove that there is now a face to the word when people say "they say" or "they do this".
2) A prisoner of Ahmedabad prison renamed himself to "Mahatma Gandhi" to prove that he has reformed, after robbing and murdering 22 men in 3 years. Piece de resistance? he was pardoned the death penalty and given life imprisonment.
3) A couple in New York renamed themselves as Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Doughlas so they could get into fancy restaurants and clubs easily while making reservations.

Happy to be,
Sapna

Trials and tribulations of my dollar bill

2004-09-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hey..remember those 5 rupee notes in India that looked anything BUT 5 rupee notes? greased and stained and torn and cellotaped? dont see much of that on dollar bills here sadly (wasnt convincing the shop fella to take your note the worst?) but did find the link wheresgeorge.com stamped on it. was trudging down the office to get a bag of chips (yeah yeah..i will get FAT and obese..but atleast i died tasting food) anyways..its a website that traces your dollar bill.put in the data to where i found mine, with serial numbers et al..and discovered it was earlier unearthed by a clerk at a striptease bar. Much help THAT info was to me..cant really fathom whats the use to this..some possibilities?

a) The website itself - if they stamp even 30% of dollar bills in the country, they get that much of traffic guys.it already requires a login if you want email updates that trace your note.situation: at work. i get an email that tells me my dollar bill turned up at the BART station in SF..i beam proudly at my darling bill, how brave! insert sheesher here (sheesher. Noun. The act of slapping the right palm to the forehead and saying "sheesh").

b)ya think it helps in criminology? hands up sir.you are arrested for blah blah blah..where and all have you been today? Ha! gotcha! you didnt mention that you visited the dingaldo pub - how did i know? tch tch..you underestimate the power of tracing a dollar bill..hmm..plausible scenario.

CBS is on fire! while other channels flounder around with lousy emmy viewership, these guys are taking the tabloid route to news..first off, the bush papers that have been deemed fake..before folks started yawning at the news and looking to other rumors, they get slapped with a huge fine for the janet jackson fiasco.. way to go CBS!! the tabloid strategies got to you too finally!

speaking of censorships (where we talking about it?.of course silly, janet jackson brought about censorship in superbowls right? keep up will ya?) Google is squirming under its self-appointed holy grail laws...the google news apparently excludes controversial news from china, thus acting like a censorboard all by itself. now now, google is great and all that..but considering the trash it does throw up sometimes as search results, isnt it a tad much that they actually go about banning sites thus influencing reader perception of whats top news? hmm..

Search Suspicious,
Sapna

Fibber Fibonacci Series

2004-09-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

Hm..now gotta have a name to the contest on my blogs -ya know, the one where you pick out what you think is the true story, rendering the other two to be untrue, therefore made-up?

Finally found a name for the game, Fibber Fibonacci. For the forgetful, Fibonacci is when you can add up the previous two numbers for the next, thus making 0,1,1,2,3,5,8.... a Fibonacci series. It fits in my scheme of blogs only coz if you factor the last two fibs, you can predict a pattern of my next fibby story. Yeah right!

anyways, herez the Fibber Fibonacci for the day.. Three stories, pick the perceived truthful story - the theme?Insane 'alert' inventions!

1) Cellphone companies in Germany have developed the first mobile phone that will alert the user incase of offensive smells, such as bad breath, sweat stink and other gross stuff.

2) A Scandanavian home-hardware store has developed a voice-activated doorbell system that automatically responds with an "unavailable" message if it recognizes a visitor to be from your "do not allow" list.

3) Television manufacturers in Japan have included a chip for TV's intended for public use to switch the channel incase of undesirable adult content in the programs, gauged by the audiostreams of the show.

Hmm..If ya ask me, all three are untrue..the First had to be developed in France, not Germany. The second is rather pointless coz it could still let in salesmen, etc and the third, why would anything but news play on public TV's anyway??

post in your choices guys...the counter is reset for all..and the contest is on for two weeks before the winner is declared..and this time, without a controversy ;-)

Fibbin away,
Sapna

TV Shows- Why Do YOU Complain?

2004-09-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Discovery at 11:00 PM yesterday..Anyone who watches TV today fall into three definite categories
1) The closet fans - these are the ones that constantly criticize the likes of reality shows and 'sex and the city' shows. Yet they diligently watch it and know the 'recall' or 'switch' buttons on the remote like the cricket fan who can 'refresh' the scorecard in his/her sleep. (despite a desperate effort at including the female of the species, I know no female actually sits gaping at a PC Screen with the sole objective of hitting F5 every 45 seconds)
2) The 'denial'lers - the ones who simply do not believe that good TV is over. They are the die-hard M*A*S*H lovers, Friends, seinfeld and fraiser lovers. And face it, in manner of grave 60's hollywood movies, "its all over" now. But they will be damned if they believe it, they will know the timing of the 6th season 7th episode reruns better than the schedule of their BART trains. Time-warped they may be, but TV Dead they are not.Theirs is the TV screen you see shimmer dimly through windows at 11:30 pm like characters out of Isaac Asimov novels.
3) The ones who love the soaps, and arent afraid to flaunt it. They will watch Gilroy sisters, and two shrub mountains (or is that one tree hill?) and bigville and the likes, and positively jump with joy/fury/sympathy depending on the scene. They are the true sunshine watchers who believe Good TV exists, and trust me, in their minds, it does!
annyways, if the biggest complaint against TV today is the influence of power-mongers (FOX News and the likes), alarming makeovers with no rhyme or reason and blatant ignorance of practicality and common-sense. There is one channel uses common-sense, practicality and the brains to its hilt. I speak of no less than HGTV. Guys, turn back to this screen and READ ( btw..i know a friend's friend's friend, a guy, who DOES watch HGTV so there!)
Home and Garden TV, for one has some sense in what they do - there is no reasonless and aimless makeovers. They all have a purpose, an aim and very very detailed strategies. there is planning, there is a budget and there are constraints as well as advantages. It should appeal to the mathematically inclined, for the simple fact that there is a problem-strategy-solution method of working. It should appeal to the creative-minded for its color-decorate and beautifying efforts. It should also appeal to the managementically inclined, coz lo and behold you have a management problem, constraints and issues, and finally a workable solution (for further MBAish effect, there is a huge paradigm shift too :-))
Even if its surprising that during the dawn of media,creative,pretty and useless defined decorating shows. Practical, useful and uninfluenced defined the news...and today its vice-versa.But atleast you can claim to have watched a botox-free,rigging-free and fake-emotion free show on TV.

Of Eating Words, And Corny humor

2004-09-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

Oh well, another weekend, another round of discovering restaurant and surprising cooking skills..
Discovered - spice hut. came highly recommended from a pal(cant remember who, or for that matter how high) but gave it a go last night (following a long drive sponsored by Sunder who insisted on proving that you could get to any city without touching the freeway. we did fremont-san jose) the place is some kinda fusion cuisine methinks..had everything from french fries to dosa dishes..my verdict? go to McDonalds for the fries and SV.bhavan for the dosas..let them lie where they belong.
Anyways,in news around the world..a chinese couple was fined about $95,000 for breaking the law.Makes headlines on apna news coz their crime was having more than one child...apparently punishment can involve power-cuts to the home of yours and your relatives.anychances for a rule in India that pesky relatives shouldnt ask about 'plans for children' even before you get outta the wedding dress? better still, they should be fined huge sums for intolerable peskiness, as well as lose the right to speak to newlyweds for an indefinite period of time.

britney spears married guys..once again..no reason i should be really interested, except that she redefines femme power..she proposed, bought her own engagement and wedding ring, paid for the wedding and inherits two step-daughters as a part of the package...ha!why dont i hear feminists haul her up as the icon of feminism measks..there should be rejoicing already for redefining the rules of engagement, wedding yadda yadda but noo, dont hear a peeep from them do we now.
So CBS finally ate its own words on the Bush military record debate..frankly, who listens anymore..war records, shwar records..i would be glad when november comes and goes -only so i can be saved from weird pop-up ads asking me to support parties and suchlike..
ookie guys..new format to quiz this week..a direct and faithful ripoff from "wait!wait! dont tell me!" from NPR..herez three stories..pull out what you think is the true story..the other two obviously being made-up stories by my fertile yet immature imagination..well, here goes...three stories, pick what you think is a true story..the theme? corny marriage proposals...
1) A restaurant owner in Lousiana proposed to his long-time girlfriend, by sending her favorite "Corn On The Cob" for every weekend they've been together, ending with a corn-cake that had the proposal written on it, in corn-cream.
2) A farmer in Ohio proposed to his girlfriend by carving the proposal in his corn-field and taking her on a flight just above it to propose.
3)A stand-up comedian proposed to his comedienne girlfriend by sending her a corny joke, the kind she loves best, till she accepted his proposal.
and since this is more an opinion based respose, just click on the "comment" link below my blog, and reply as anonymous, if you choose..
Bhutta queensapna

A Beer, A Massage And A Molar - I wanna be healthy

2004-09-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

Individually of course....should learn something in blog titles shudnt i?

Coming to the point..MSNBC reports dentists now are collaborating with spas to give ya a manicure while getting that tooth cleaned, or a foot massage when getting that molar filled..wild concept, no doubt..and undoubtedly makes folks curious enough to see what the denspas offer(or spaden if you please..its me whoz making up these linguistic blends) ..but get this, you are combining something you love with something you hate (Aw comeon..who you kidding? Even if the dentist was your bridesmaid, you arent exactly running to her electric chair are you?)...in anycase..this kinda package deal just signals one thing to me..dont mess a good thing, and dont try to better a bad thing...you dont want your manicure to be remembered to be the time you had a swollen cheek..or a foot massage to be remembered coz that was the time you couldnt feel your tongue for a whole week..pshaw!you DONT wanna think of these great memories and wince.. Its like remembering your wedding to be the day your hairdo fell off (which sniff....can be quite traumatic especially if its lying in grandma's purse the rest of the wedding..ask me!)

Finally..a study i can frame in my living room..beer is good for your health folks.not wine, not milkshake..its beer. For all my beer-hating pals, and the ones who turn their tiny noses up at manna from brewery, my case rests here.

Well Well Well..your past finally DOES catch up doesnt it? remember your fondest memories of college being that you ran away from the restaurant without tipping? and felt devilishly delighted about saving money? yeah yeah..ha ha ha.well well stop the laughter. There can be cases when you will be marched right into jail for being stingy babcock(WHO? i dunno..just rolled off my tongue). anyways, guy finally got off police custody, was arrested for not tippin right..how absolutely topping!

And finally, my sweet revenge at all things cellular. Once upon a time, long long ago..i took the express bus 180 to get to San Jose every single day..and suffered through mobile-possessed passengers discussing any or all of the most painful topics that could occupy the planet..handicapped myself with a very expensive mobile plan, i silently muttered voodoo curses that folks traveling all over the world undergo the same..and now they can! airbuses report cellphones work with no problems during the flight. Sunder, let the music begin :-) and yes, my voodoo curses usually work. The line may begin now, and only cash please.

Important news on Pavitr Prabhakar..wha? you dont know who that is? shame on ya..especially if i can see that bell in your head ring at the name Peter Parker..well,(am being quite contemptuous here) Pavitr Prabhakar is desi-spiderman guys..hez in a dhoti and jootis..though the upper part of the costume is the same--love the storyline for indian audience as well as the visuals and innovative ideas...my favorite?Mary Jain is Meera Jain ..and he fights rakshashas instead of Doc Ock and suchlikes..we've come a long way since "hotel ke andar bandar" and "Sher dil" guys..applaud and wipe away that proud tear..oh also check it out at http://us.rediff.com/news/2004/sep/16spec.htm

now for the quiz! this one ought to be easy..(its ok..let me be in my smug cheating knowledge)
What do you call a stock market trend that is neither bullish nor bearish? a) Flat market b) Stable market c) Chicken market

Bhayankar Chipkali,
Sapna

Hammering The Spammering

2004-09-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

I go by phonetic matching,the process by which spamming becomes spammering only coz it rhymes with hammering. Cant help it, am a victim of rhyming tendencies. I would much rather match spamming with hamming to keep with the theme. English is notorious for its complicatedness anyway, it wouldn't hurt to throw in a couple of more sugar cubes into the coffee.

anyways..For the first time, am looking at my junk mailbox. Hotmail religiously designates most of my mail into junk, so it isn't tough finding these. Find 14 mails, ranging from my PG&E bill (can I claim bad hotmail techniques for a late payment?) to the following:

1) A link to an astrologer that suspiciously seems to be something mom might've sent to me. She recently discovered astrology online, receiving pages and pages of predictions that make her feel totally obliged to pass onto me, as they are primarily about how badly I shall do in life.

2)A mail from some social-networking site that wants to know how my paycheck compares to others. MIGHT've been interesting if I WAS earning.

3)Links to find true love, child-care centers and retirement plans.

Hell, the spammers have my whole life penned out.All put together, I can find a great paying job, true love, childbirth techniques, childcare centers as well as good retirement plans for old-age. My question is this, do you think folks really click on these? Admittedly, it costs way less to promote anything in the name of a product or service via email than any other form of publicity. Its cheaper than the kid who gives you handouts of shady products for sure. And my guess is even if 2 out of 10000 DO click/purchase these products, they have made a profit. Don't know one person who does though! But what IS interesting, is the kind of services that have come up COZ of spam industry. There are anti-spam services that scan your mail to ensure it isn't spam, there are mailboxes that add on this service at a small extra-cost..The works!! Hurrah for entrepreneurship!

In Research news, bigger nostrils have more smelling power. Well, i am not going to berate this one..they treat smelling disorders better apparently with such studies. Though the smelling disorder thingie tickles me pink...know folks who permanently claim they cant smell anything, (especially when am cooking something, HMPH)..Though it was easy to blame my burnt cooking on these folks, as they refuse to smell burnt food, I just think of treating folks to smelling disorders.eewwwww!

Here is a quiz question..what has more patches than my old faithful pair of jeans? Microsoft OS thats what is..they released another patch for a major JPEG security flaw..seems extremely scary coz anyone opening a JPEG file is vulnerable to hacking..aw MAN!

Btw...watched my fav.movie on the telly last evening..Spy Game...Arent ashamed to say thats the first robert redford movie i've seen..but man hez good! as is floppy-haired brad pitt for a change, but then he really doesnt need to act much coz hez a dead-faced military guy anyways in the movie..but the best part of the movie? the background score..it ROCKS!! was already crazy for the Bourne Supremacy soundtrack and this seems to fall in the same line. Old Faithful amazon has it with a 4.5 rating..will keep you posted on how the CD turned out!

Has anyone noticed the timesofindia.com website lately? Dont know if its been like so for long, coz i started checking it only recently. But gotta say, it feels and reads like a sleazy tabloid. I know the newspaper wasnt in great shape a couple of years back in india, what with full-page ads for femina miss india ON THE FIRST page..and coverage of timesofindia exclusive events as news items..but the website sucks! apart from awful pop-ups that can make you miserable, even the front-page has sleazy, pointless news to drive home the tabloid effect. sheesh.have a look and lemme know what you think!

now for the quiz question..the wheel on the indian flag represents

1) Laws of dharma
2) India's wheels of progress
3)the states in india
4) The coming together of various religions within the country.

A Blog-Patriot,
Sapna

Fingerprinting Keyboards, Optical Mice and Independent Ears

2004-09-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Research study time again guys -Apparently, a study has discovered that one ear is not like the other.ahaaan. We all know left brain aint doin the same things the Right brain doth, and now its known ears dont want stereotypes - they are out there trying to create their own identity in a human body..in anycase, this study's results seem logical. I mean, obviously both ears dont do the same thing! Three simple ways to deduce this and thus save money on expensive research:

1) Guy listening to his wife while watching a game on the TV - Left ear for wife is trained to transmit only dangerous clues and purge the rest, while the right ear trasmits commentary on a millisecond to millisecond basis.
2) Woman on a shopping mission with a whining guy -selective hearing for the guy while other ear is on phone transmitting and receiving info on deals a pal has gotten.
And since i try quite sincerely to stay away from stereotyping guys and women, the third and fourth scenario can be permutuations and combinations of the above two.thank you.

USA plays the mini World Cup - ummm in Cricket. Indiatimes finds it strangely funny, and i do too..for the only reason that most of the cricket-starved indians in the U.S didnt seem to know of this...and also by the scorecard dunno why, but would've expected to see more indian immigrants or pakistani immigrants in there!

Wired magazine has a product review for Microsoft Optical Desktop, a biometric mouse and keyboard set that uses fingerprinting techniques (aw man..even in using a PC??) for recognition once all the usernames/passwords are in..its gonna be out in october for 105$..should be atleast a start for these kinda devices, but will stick to my "k missing scroll lock stuck" keyboard and outdated two button mouse till the prices go down.

oooh finally visited a restaurant i cant stop raving about..Cascal, near Castro street. Spanish cuisine and the most AMAZING decor i'd ever seen in a resto..awesome food, amazing Margaritas (try the cascal special) and live music on fridays that ROCKS! reservation compulsory and outdoor dining is allowed..and prices that keeps my wallet fatty and my heart light!woohoo!

Oprah gave away cars to all of her studio audience.am trying my best to look bored and uninterested about it, but MAN whatta way to create hungama...websites went ballistic as usual, and the "i've never won anything" types like me grouch and sulk at unfairness in the world while consoling ourselves with pointless proverbs made up by sureshot losers.

Quiz of the day guys..Surprise and correct entry by Vibes makes her the winner for yesterday..woohoo!! btw..my secret sources tell me that Arvinder uses Google for a bit too many things, including THE ANSWERS...hmph..in the spirit of sportsmanship, he is disqualified (but in the spirit of the spirits he gifts me, i secretly include him again)

When translated in Korean what does Daewoo mean? a) Great Universe b) People's Product c) Great Strides..

Ambidextrous and Ambiauditorically,
sapna

Yaaawn..Blink Blink

2004-09-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

Monday morning with 3 hours of sleep is like going white-water rafting in a suit--idiotically unprepared(even my secret formula of blinking rapidly at the screen doesnt help)..was up on a giggling-goats mission with a fellow-goat..watched a good desi movie (its not a myth..they are real and they do exist) and partook in a prattling competition.anyways..enough on me and monday mornings..wots the crazy-lowdown for the day?

amchi laloo prasad yadav discovered no great way to climb into newscharts..seriously, the guy is like some fading fim-star..always looking for ways to get into news..last week he claimed he was internet savvy (apparently hez uploaded info on nefarious activities by oppostion on eeentaaaeenaaat) now he claims harvard wants his resume..as in CV..now stop the sniggering.the man is famous, he even has a movie being released on him n all that..aaanyways..apparently the harvard is doing a study on the man in the sociology department? check it here....also, readers are welcome to respond to the name of this study on the guy..imaginative and 'out-there' titles to the study get a free poster of laloo...now get down to work with your keys and monitor..

speaking of keys and monitor (coz pen and paper is passe') whoz written recently? as in..pen on paper? cudnt drag my hunk of a PC to the TV screen on saturday and tried to write on paper..maaan its tough.my fingers ached, my nails complained and my palm sullenly swore revenge..fact is, keys and buttons are as much of exercise they willing to do...why dont dieters ask folks to get their fingers exercise?start small being the mantra..you can get folks to flex fingers, stretch palms, and write one page a day ..hell we could even have workouts..fingerexercise 101. workout anytime, anywhere..all you need is a pen n paper....umm, stop!

Dunno if i already blogged this, but Joey is a huge hit.a pal's pal claims that all the best jokes are the promos and ads already..but hey, loyalty drives me to joey - even if he looks old, fat n jaded and extremely uncomfy being dumb all over again..

Its official guys..Fall is here, though a change in date shouldnt automatically change my willingness to enjoy the weather, the shops hoarding on fall fashions say so..and i listen intently ..aanyyways..for the so-inclined, check out online fashion hubs..especially amazon.com ..they have the most unbelieavable deals ever!

speaking of great deals- bangladeshi beggars are sparking jealousy waves all over beggar circuit..a bank has started on a project to give them cellphones instead of cash..so they could roam around n ask, and this is for real, "do you wanna make a call? and oh..got a buck" ..they sorta like mobile payphones...hmm..thats a thot..how about doing the same to internet? mobile internet cafes..anyways..check the story on yahoo

ookie time for the question of the day!! last quiz q had a surprise participant (he resisted and desisted but couldnt stay away too long) Shalabh! bravo! your quiz counter account has been initiated!anyways, an unusual question to wake you up today..

Early in his career, Kishore Kumar, modeled for an ad - the only one he ever modeled for. Name the ad .. a) Brylcreem b) Palmolive c) Colgate d) indian railways
(pssst.. the ad even had Farokh Engineer as the first Indian cricketer to model for it)

yahhoooooo
sapna

Of Mithun memories and pixie dogs

2004-09-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

Ok guys..is the last day of a truly exhausting week (lower that eyebrow please. Just coz i blog everyday doesnt mean i have nothing to do..if you MUST know, i blog in the evenings and post-date blog it)..and in the spirit of looking forward to a wonderfully relaxing weekend, i dedicate this blog to absolute nonsensical news (the previous blogs werent, if you were thinking on those lines. They were just testing your tolerance + I.Q level, and lets just say-you have a looong way to go)..anyways, ring up the headlines on nutcase times...

Latest addition to the Guinness book guys, a dog with the longest ears-over a foot long..hm..did anyone win it for the human race? Methinks me has a chance..yeah, mom..i saw through your trick of convincing me that long ears means i am lucky, or that i hear better than most. They are just pixie-long, or rabbit-long, depending on if you believe in fairy tales or not...but then, maybe folks who pierce themselves all over, would actually be jealous of me..say, there might be this person somewhere in the world going "Damn!sapna has loong ears..she could easily dangle 12 earrings .if only i did too!"

Oops.sorry for this useful bit of info to intrude into nonsense time, but you guys GOTTA check out the new blackberry..its, to say the least..the coolest thing since man invented autolit handbags ( i call it the ultmate search - the light goes on for just enough time to pull out that chapstick from my handbag).oops.i digress again..so, the blackberry..for a short gist of wot its got, its got email for upto 10 mail accounts, IM tools (yahoo, msn..the works), the usual phone bit, a bit of a get-used-to-it-and-will-be-ok keypad, and browsers..for a price of...hold your breath..$200...and its sleeker too..get hip guys, before my mom gets it (really, she is out there..she wants a cameraphone now to take photos of furniture she wants dad to approve..and here i am, wallowing with my nokia bricklike phone!)

back to nonsense news..(and oh, you can breathe again).lets say this weekend, the summer finally gets to you..and you decide to watch a hindi movie..one of the five word movies at that..try the latest salman khan flick..its got a dead wife..whose heart is put into a heart-patient..who.umm..starts loving everyone that wife dearest did..coz umm..the heart is the same right?yikes..stop that..i say STOP smacking your head..its not your fault- it really isnt..you've survived mithun movies where he shoots his own head to get rid of the tumor..or the movie where he shoots the bullet into a knife to slice it for two bad guys..you can survive this too..check out a bad review of a bad movie at rediff.com

this btw..is a labor day miracle (christmas miracles happen no more)..a guy gets run over by a train, coz hez lying drunk on the tracks..and errr...LIVES..and hten gets run over another train..and yikes..lives again! you can consider it a miracle or wotever..but think about this, what if he was trying to commit suicide? [insert cynical laugh here]

alive and well,
sapna

P.S-oh well.ho hum. (secretly pleased)..due to popular demand..will do one last quiz for the week..but i expect every one of ya to respond to this..coz if you dont, you are dropped off my list for lack of G.K (stop rejoicing already! i am still gonna spam ya).
so here goesThe brilliant Coca-Cola signs that dot skylines the world over are known as..? a) Billboards b) Spectaculars c) Festoons

Pop-ups ads and popped out dads

2004-09-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Ha!! i bet sneaky advertisers are laughing up in sneaky heaven somewhere - while we remain in user hell..well, ok..will stop the rant and start the bant(er)...no i shant.eeeks..stop it..right.know the feeling when you bravely fend off those awful pop-ups for perfectly good sites? You think you got a one-up over those silly ads coz you close them without really clicking on them? well, you arent really helping the cause my friend..coz you effectively NOTICED the ad..so goes this article in the wired magazine Wired News: Ads That Annoy Also Succeed

Also the screaming news on icecream..for the ones who couldnt care less about what goes in their icecream, herez the lowdown - its mostly air..oh and FATTY fat...ScienCentral: High-Tech Ice Cream talks about what exactly is in an icecream..and why would you wanna know? well, it comes handy when your left brain (the smarter side) is trying to con your right brain (the duh side) on why icecream isnt all fat i guess...

well.. i did talk about this earlier on a controversial blog (which is long since removed..but hey diddy doo..here goes again) but love it too much to let go..atkins diet works guys..thats the bad news..for all those like me who scoff and snigger at diet fads, we can proceed to put our collective feet in the mouth and wash it down after chomping on it..but the punchline? it works only coz its soo boring that dieters have no interest in anything anymore, including food...[insert evil laugh here] also proceed to gargle out the water and remove all feet from mouth..

Oh btw..am sick n tired of the political bashing exercise thats the new election-diet in washington..apparently bush didnt meet the requirements so was suspended from flying for national guards...yaaaawwwnn..raise an eyebrow to the height of dishevelled hair and contine with the same bored expression that you have for this blog.thanks.good exercise routine guys.

continuing my tirade against pointless research that costs moolah..add this one..and no, DONT tell me research is conducted and written about coz folks like me actually read it (ulp..too late already?) ..anyways..herez one that unashamedly claims, with no regret for wasting money on such stuff that dads pretend to sleep when babies cry..therefore moms get angrier..no seriously..thats the gist of this research..hmm..think hard ladies and gentlemen...you would be sitting with your spouse at doc's office during a pregancy visit..and he prescribes parental etiquette classes for ya..which btw he HIGHLY recommends..where they teach dads NOT to pretend to sleep when kids bawl..and some scientist figured you need to be a DAD for this? just being a guy isnt enough?didnt need to research to know that it is enough to be just a guy now..did i? Bah!

anyways..quiz answer for yesterday was Coco-cola guys..all the folks who answered parle, go home and eat your Parle-G's please. today's q..
French foods giant Danone has a stake in which bottled water brand? a) Kinley b) Aquafina c) Evian

nonsense-news quenched,
sapna

Sleepless in Fahrenheit 99

2004-09-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

First off - get a response for my blog yesterday that Vijay Singh aint an NRI -hm..always thot NRI was non resident indian..not non-resident indian in the U.S. -errata if NRI is only for non-resident americans :-) coz the guy is from Fiji..

anyways..am up waiting for a particular american airlines flight to land. up watching, of all things in the world, a mush movie (the bleching may commence)..normally dont - am stubbornly attached to three loyalty-driven favorites.Meg Ryan being the common thread -and rightly so, yada yada yada..anyywayss…am making a list of top movies to watch in each genre .so i can collect the DVD's as i pass along my life (btw..did you know bill gates scoffs at DVD's -smtg he thinks will be archaic in a few years..sheesh.i will be holding onto vintage stuff 10 years from now?)..here's my top list for mush movies - highly recommended to all who wait for flights to land - whether in it or outside it..
When harry met sally You've got mail Sleepless in Seattle pretty woman runaway bride Forget paris love actually love story it happened one night
Also, since i know there are guys who like atleast some of it just as much, can remain content in the fact that i do not subscribe to the 'chick flick' channel :-) nothing against it, just that its a weird phrase for a weird genre..its a crazy combination of teen-movies plus the cliched romantic movies that adults watch..i mean, why wouldnt you call 'the terminal' a chick flick? coz tom hanks doesnt act in one? or coz the director is a serious fella? what exactly, defines, i ask, a chick flick? the fact that guys go 'boo'? or that it doesnt require thinking? coz if its the latter, then shouldnt 'dude wherez my car' be a chick flick? or even the recentest james bond movie?if not, what are those movies then called? and again, what exactly defines a chick flick?(pssst- this is where you whisper 'stop!' before you lose your reader to boredom)
In other news..apparently researchers figured that short kids dont usually have a problem with self-esteem..took them 15 years since they declared that short kids DO have problems in life to figure that out.what IS the deal with researchers anyway?if i take 100 kids from,lets say, my school where tall is cool and then go ahead and take 100 kids from a mumbai school where kids are so many and so crunched up that one cant distinguish the height, what gives?

Ooh..herez an interesting one..Michael Moore wants his movie to be nominated for best movie award- good idea methinks..his wave of publicity needed that perk..shucks, folks had almost forgotten him what with olympics and florida hurricanes..not particularly fond of his choice of controversy raking, but i do think its right that he enter into the 'best picture' category -even if it seems to be a plot to get more popular. Fahrenheit 9/11, in its message atleast aint a documentary- its an interpretation of events..and interpretations should NOT be in the category of 'best documentary'.just as 'Da Vinci code' wouldnt be if made into a movie. in anycase, this act of his provides fuel to be in the limelite again when his movie is or isnt the winner.
Hm, just noticed..some folks take veeru from sholay just a mite too seriously- one suicide every 40 seconds,didjaknow? its kinda depressing y'kno..a person commits suicide to escape the world and suchlike - what if they discovered that a) the other world aint any more fun or b) they find themselves back in the world, heck! xcept they are ghosts now..grass aint always greener on the other side guys!
Fahrenheit 99 degrees today,
sapna

P.S-Yesterday's quiz answer was dubai btw..today's q.. which company bought the drink Gold spot?pepsi, parle or coco-cola?

Tahoe Shahoe

2004-09-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

methinks Hindi is one of the few languages that insists on limerickism in normal speech. Delhi hindi more so. Idhar Udhar and aaju baaju notwithstanding, you can pretty much apply the sing-song mode to any word that threatens to be a monosyllabic answer or hasnt satisfied your self-made goal of 20 words per sentence. Shoe voo? khaana vaana?ulta pulta and the list goes on..and if you are bang in the middle of the likes of Carol Bagh or Palika bazaar, you probably wouldnt be surprised to listen to tahoe shahoe, football shootball and suchlikes. Lets therefore declare today to be a limerickize your speech day.speaking of insane days, here is the official list for September sheptember.
2 VJ Day
3 Uncle Sam's Birthday His image was first used in 1813
4 Newspaper Carrier Day
5 Be Late for Something Day
5 Cheese Pizza Day
6 Labor Day
7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day
8 International Literacy Day Pardon Day
9 Teddy Bear Day
10 Swap Ideas Day
11 Make Your Bed Day
12 Grandparent's Day
12 Chocolate Milk Shake Day
13 Defy Superstition Day
14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day
15 Make Hat Day Felt Hat Day - On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.
16 Mexican Independence Day
17 Citizenship Day
17 Constitution Day
18 International Peace Day
19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day
20 National Punch Day
21 Miniature Golf Day
22 Dear Diary Day
23 Checkers Day
24 Good Neighbor Day
25 National Comic Book Day
26 National Pancake Day
27 Crush a Can Day
28 Ask a stupid question Day
29 Confucius Day - Try your luck. Get a Fortune Cookie
Went to Tahoe like i said (did i?) with a sugar-high bunch of wannabe volleyballers (excepting two masterplayers).did a LOT of fun activities that included volleyball on Sat afternoon, Volleyball on Sunday evening and Volleyball on Monday morning.Played Trivial pursuit, at which i stink,not because of lack of knowledge mind you, its just that i am big on divulging competitive intelligence (a new word i picked up on the trip)..anyways,a couple of trivia i picked up,
which bodily function can reach the speed of 200 mph?
Before you gross yourself out, is sneezing! ha!betcha didnt know THAT one.

So Clinton went ahead and had a heart surgery over the weekend, hez 58 btw. its weird what CAN bring heart problems about..you would think for Clinton its stress and suchlike, but had an uncle who was a yoga instructor once who had a heart attack..hmm..disillusionment comes in strange forms...

Was stuck in an unfathomable traffic jam today morning, in time actually to tune into NPR's report on how bay area folks spend almost 70 hours a year in traffic. ay area also 2nd most congested area in the country..and they dont even have buffaloes and baarat shaarats on the road yet.
Vijay singh is the champion golf player btw..hez an NRI and rediff is going ballistic as usual - will someone please tell them to STOP? why cant they just report him as the next big golfer than slap him with a desi label and add him to the hall of "desi leaders in their field".

Today's quiz btw..a simple one for the post-vacation blues..
where is the world's tallest hotel situated?
New York, Dubai or Seoul?

Misty Mae Wannabe (for entirely sportsy reasons)
sapna

economic girlie and I

2004-09-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hm..just when you thought that postman had become postal worker and policeman had become policeofficer, 'economic girlie' hits you..and the response arnie got for the phrase should be a good enough reason to be anti-republican (what? i dont have a reason already?)..am officially a part of a feminist linguistic brigade (trumpets please)...no more girlie for wimpish references..boy will do just as adequately..hrmph.

speaking of trumpets, roll them again for the winner of yesterday's quiz..appu! she wins hands, feet and face down.why, in just a minute.lets give appu a moment or two to stand up in her workarea and do the war dance.hurrah! while her boss makes a silent mental note to get all employees to learn relaxation and stress-removal techniques from appu. Bravo! Appu scores a point with da boss..and sniff, all thanks to me!
and as to WHY she won hands down, simple.Everyone else was wrong.I prescribe an India trip for everyone who responded. Have you even SEEN how much ICICI is all over the country? most came up with BOB, tsk tsk.how antiquated. ICICI is the second largest bank in India guys.

Oh and everyone whoz homehunting..tune into NPR once in awhile...they doing a series of places to settle in, that are way cheaper than most in the bay area. covered Nicaragua today, in South America. Apparently for 250K n odd, you get, simply put, an island with a 2000 sq feet mansion.complete with the works, maids and gardeners inclusive. and you REALLY thot for a second about that two bedroom condo in south hayward in desperation?

btw..Al-Jazeera is gonna broadcast in India..must be a part of the trade-off for the truck drivers being released?
Hurricane hitting Florida again..guess the only ones profiting out of hurricanes are home-depots of the world..there is just a millisecond of a minute when i think that there is profit in disaster..but that immediately disappears, when my diet goes for a disaster everytime i profit in taste with hersheys. Bah, pseudocommunist too now.

On a slightly positive note, russian terrorists released 26 kids and women from the school they've occupied.btw.WHY dont they have a number to the total number of folks help captive?? its ranges from 120-700..the first day of school was apparently when lots of parents accompany kids, so its tougher to put a number to it.

Kobe Bryant case dismissed btw. and he apologized to the babe n all well for the lakers star..waittaminute? why did he apologize? should there be an investigation into THAT now?why would one say sorry if not, unless if guilty......stop!

Btw..have been reading in bits and pieces of dowry harassment..no, no..not wife's torturous existence, but the groom's..huh? apparently the new twist to dowry laws in india, especially andhra pradesh..is for babes to marry guys, mostly settled in the U.S and then accuse him of dowry harassment, get a divorce with a large compensation..will get more on pointless news like this later..now, onto the quiz...

this one is for the MBAs and the wannabe MBA's :-)
Which business guru postulated the I theory? for added info, Theory 'I' is an attempt to understand and define the Indian worker just like the Japanese had tried to do with their Theory 'Z'. The principles of 'Theory I Management' are that most Indians value emotions and long-term relationships and growth opportunities and commitment. It also states that Indians' cultural roots of tolerance often make them complacent and lack of patriotism at a macro level leaves us aimless.

choices are
C K Prahalad
Arindham Chaudari
Sumantra Ghoshal

blogging guru,
I

2004-09-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Zeitgeist - new word added to my dictionary and mesee LIKES the word..kinda zennish feel to it..maybe if given a chance (all wannabe parents run) will name a kid Zeitgeist, Zei for short..at the risk of sounding whacko, have you ever felt words imply something even if you dont know the meaning of the word? Kinda a linguistic deja vu, complete with a sense of bewilderment at what it means...my RD (Reader's digest) guide to life claims that its all in your mind...for example, between the words "naked" and "nude" (i swear was reading RD :-) ) you'd tend to think that naked caught you by surprise, whereas nude seems to be done on purpose..get the drift? Anyways..just remember that between apples and peaches and cocoa (names parents gave kids they LOVE!!) zeitgeist isnt too bad :-)

anyways..midweek and quite a bit of interesting stuff i've been meaning to blog about..

Blinkx - a new desktop search tool. dunno if i've already blogged about this, but is real cool. so its basically a desktop tool that ya download and it runs in the background..kinda a small icon on the top right corner..and let's say you are typing a mail in outlook about..oh lets see, the new iPod?(i am NOT over it.i refuse to get over it)...the tool, if you loook it up, searches for info on that topic from news, internet, shopping as well as your computer for files that relates to it..is that cool or what? so you know wots the latest on the topic your mail is about, wot products relate to it, and wot your own computer has on it..methinks thats smtg every search engine should come out with (umm.they ARE)..sooon!

Btw..i am already over with my RSS feeder thingie (the one that collects news from all my fav websites to deliver to my desktop?)..history seems to totally repeat itself here in the social context...its like my mom could NEVER like reading news off websites (when she was here) and totally missed the touch n feel of newspapers.and now methinks in all my cyber glory, that i simply cannot just get all my news in one window, i need the click and navigation of an actual website..i swear to ya, the guy who invented the printing press is laughing up there (i KNOW who it is..some german fella..my age must be getting to me)..

ok..now for the piece de resistance of my blog..
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=2&u=/nm/20040901/od_nm/saudi_stampede_dc

Three were killed in umm..a trample for ....ummm..vouchers from...umm IKEA!! now that validates my reason not to visit Ikea on a regular basis..i refrain from IKEA to SAVE lives :-)

ooh ooh..btw..aamir khan remarried..check out www.timesofindia.com
to the assistant director of lagaan..is that hot news or WOT?

Apparently the RNC is going great..heard swarmy arnie's speech on radio today in bits n pieces..and am beginning to believe more and more that India is setting examples in every way, every day...apart from the fact that U.S officials had to ask india on how they handled power cuts when NY had it a couple of years back...arnie might wanna take a leaf from rajnikanth's notebook on how to get crowds on their feet and going berserk over him..trust me..its already happening :-p

A true Rajnikanth fan,
sapna

P.S - the winner of YESTERDAY's quiz is Dhanshree...woohoo! today's question..which is india's second largest bank?
State bank of india
Bank of Baroda
ICICI.
see if you can post your answers below this post...or mail it to me :-d

2004-08-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

By the sea.under a palm tree.Summer 2004 :-)

There is no such thing as a free lunch

2004-08-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

Thank ye all for the huge number of entries to my quiz...the winner is Arvinder!!applauseee!! for those with no clue on wot me speaks of, hmph to ya ..read my blogs better will you?
Today's quiz question to ya..
Since when is Xerox sponsoring Olympic Games?
1998 Winter olympics, 1982 Olympics or 1964?

post your responses on perpetualmisfit.blogspot.com

Speaking of posting stuff, I've been taken. I unashamedly admit I have. The greed of an iPod made me do it. and bad journalism. Wired news(http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,64614,00.html) picked up the story on www.freeIpods.com sometime last week, proclaiming it legitimate. So i fall, not hook-line and sinker as am anti-fish, but definitely fell to the click-lure.
The hitch (which wired news failed to report. Snort!) is that you gotta get 5 pals to sign up for deals that include columbiahouse kinda scammy disasters. Bah! also intensly dislike co-worker who preens his free iPod. Sniff, but still..am getting 5 free DVDs (umm..and gotta buy 4 more in the next year to exit from their painful deal) so all's well. But do plan to fight it, methinks impulse is a valid defense in the court of law. and while i am rewriting laws, add hormones to the list as well.

I truly think Seinfeld is a visionary of sorts. He inspires inventions, episode by episode. Who remembers the one with George's oversized wallet that makes him sit lopsided? the one that is bursting with stuff that even a tiny bit of paper has no place in it? for a more local comparison, look at Sunder's wallet(he has started writing ON the wallet for lack of space)..well, Wired news (yeah yeah i still read them) reports on the coolest thing for guys ever, wallets replaced by cellphones that pay for lunch et al..check out
http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,64778,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_4

I guesss babes cant really trade in handbags for cellphones..and for those guys smirking at the insanity of a babe's purse, Joey and Seinfeld scorn ya from telly-heaven.

Speaking of babes ( my feminist sisters, note below) the directionally challenged, take heart. Atleast you arent a robber in Boston. The fella hops over to a copy shop and attempted to rob it.. the clerk goes 'umm..this aint a bank dude" to which the robber promptly jots down directions to GET to a bank..and then proceeds to the rob the bank..and on and on..
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040831/ap_on_fe_st/bank_bungle&e=2

N.B: Have been told have a strongly feminist streak in my blogs, hence the call to babes on a piece about directionally challenged folks..but then, the robber WAS a guy..hmmm..well that would make guys more ......:-)

These days gmail ads keep me in splits..i mean, REALLY...get Mr.Sarangan's schedule with a note on how hectic it is (interpreted as "stop cribbing about my travel already") and gmail promptly puts up ads for yoga classes on the side...my dinner invites automatically generate ads for umm..recipes (is that ad-sense or perceptiveness?) and plans to visit a national park nearby prompts ads for news on bear-maulings in national parks..hmm..did i really wanna see THAT one now?
and no, this isnt a plug for gmail.

Unplugged,
Sapna

Rocking New Challenges

2004-08-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

Rocking New Challenges or Republican National Convention - what's the difference? Am taking a fairly cheap delight at the ingeniouness of the protestors at the RNC, right from mis-directing republicans to the outskirts of New Jersey to giving the prez the pink slip (as in a piece of attire in the color pink, not its metaphorical step-sister that nobody likes)

btw..'metaphors' are passe people, WISIWIM (what i say is what i mean) is the new lingo. In any case, the true WISIWIM of the protestors at http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&q=protestors+at+RNC

On the other side of the world, Indian politics are discovering brand power finally - faithful democrats can buy bottles of ketchup to support their cause, but good ole indian way goes that wee bit of a step further - a restaurant for the new brand-power Laloo thats the hit of the luck-city (as in Lucknow, not Las Vegas..duh!)
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/7242_955790,00180007.htm

Rakshabandhan is getting done this week, my loot is safely deposited in my kitchen (yeah, someone was kind enough to gift me a 12-pack for the festivities..hurrah for perceptive brothers) - but i digress, anyone checked out desi sites for gifts lately? man, they rock..send a rakhi with rice and a mithai for $3 delivered almost pronto at bro's doorstep - a suggestion though, how about a service that includes the rakhi police that watches out for bro's who sneakily take off rakhis before heading out? i mean, whats the point? Rakhi was the innovative invention of disgruntled sisters people.(Do not protest.Is the truth). Sisters got sic of being whacked on the heads and having to dress up for festivals when brothers frolicked around. What better way for a woman's scorn than a devious festival? A forehead smeared with color, enough rice on the head to attract the roaches and a painfully embarassing rakhi to skulk around in..Revenge!!
Of course, these arent my thoughts..I truly believe in Rakhi and the powers of good wishes et al (angelic smile).

Olympics are over -enjoyed them enormously. Didnt catch the closing ceremony, but was quite content with the way Greece handled things - The Barcelona ripple effect sure better be replicated in Athens! Our Indians came back with myriad excuses for bad performances including air-pollution (wha??) wind condition, shoe problems (yeah, Bata ought to be sued methinks, they cost us the Olympics).http://us.rediff.com/sports/2004/aug/30oly-ind.htm
Dhanraj Pillay retires (he was already planning to) and India slumps back to bad cricket and awful linguistic blends such as hesh-lee (don't even tax yourself on that.Its Monday guys).

For anyone up for a movie this week, therez The Hero, if you liked Crouching tiger kinda movies..Visual Delight or celluloid Valium,pick your opinion.

Starting this week - a daily trivia question for readers. Winner gets a mention and one blog-entry..woohoo..but hey, its a weekday and four days to insanity (oh and a long weekend), so here goes.

In India, Premier automobiles assembled the De Soto and Plymouth cars in association with which company in 1946 -
Ford, Cadillac or Chrysler?

Using my gray cells on a Blue monday,
Leftist Sapna

Of talk-show Jurors and discounted caskets

2004-08-20T16:01:00.000-07:00

I sincerely try to stay away from Entertainment news (snigger snigger), unless of course its Aby Baby who I shall diligently cover to assure Sunder I strongly support him. But this one warranted some thinking. Lets say you murdered someone and were arrested (BOINK!! Batman-on-TV style wakeup), there are two people you don’t want on the Jury. Your mother. And yeah, her analog, Oprah Winfrey. Well, the latter just happened to be selected on a jury for a murder trial, a trial that she hopes ends ASAP coz she has commitments (production, talk show, counting billions of dollars, you know, the usual). Nothing worth writing home about (or to bored pals either) but this spawns two important questions 1) Why she was selected in the first place. Not to say most jurors aren’t dying to get out of jury duty themselves, but a person who is quite vocal about wanting to get out of it sooner than soon, and probably is plotting a show centered around the victim/murderer isnt one you want on the jury. A publicity stunt you think? Or am I being ultra cynical here? 2) Also notice that you don’t hear much of celebrities on jury duty (and you WOULD hear about it, considering you hear about their broken nails even). Therez a reason methinks. Celebrities bring with them the pressures, media and hype that judges probably really don’t want in a case (as would the accused, imagine jostling for coverage with a J-LO) anyway, check it out at.http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=peopleNews&storyID=5989566 Now starts the arm-exercise routine. All Costco members raise your hands. There, I count three already, or is that 13? (Wink wink, I know who all, pile on big time to get stuff from there). Am hardly a die-hard fan of Costco (go on. call me shameless) but its useful with a CAPITAL U.But their latest mass offering is kind of, umm...dead :-) Costco is offering cheap (and probably dozens for a deal) of.... CASKETS...EEEKS!! Check it out at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5730441/ Free that hand for the next question. How many are Indian Software professionals in the U.S? (No need to raise both hands, I get it). Visa issues, accent issues, cuisine issues and attitude issues. Manners issues, dressing issues, legal issues and boss issues. Nope, not starting Indian professionals in the U.S forum (nor am I creating their anthem). But if you are nodding sagely remembering curious and weird situations Indian engineers have been in, check out http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/818169.cms have been intently following AT&T ads on the Telly during Olympics. Apparently AT&T has banished their landline ads forever. And are allover the place talking about their VOIP.The USP that I love? Do not disturb function...comes so handy when you get that 5:30 AM call from mom telling you the tomatoes are growing splendidly. And doesn’t even feel bad about waking up folks at godforsaken timings (umm.or is that just my mom?). Anyways, the function helps you set a message that CAN go "mom! DONT call me at this time. I am sleeping" with an option of letting the call go through if super-urgent.snoreeeee.also cheaper phone bills folks! Rejoice with VOIP!http://www.technewsworld.com/story/35863.html Also, if you are one of the folks who are super excited at American Indians doing great, Mohini Bharadwaj was on the balanced beam for the U.S team at gymnastics and ended with a 9.4 and a 9.1 on the floor (as in floor routine, she didn’t fall onto the floor!). U.S ended with silver in women gymnastics. But hey, desi name, rediff is sure to pick it as a huge India-boosting exercise.jeez! India won silver btw. Wohoo!! Check rediff Olympics coverage atwww.rediff.com/olympics.

Science Girl to the rescue

2004-08-20T15:59:00.000-07:00

Trumpets!!! What did I tell ya? (War dance commences). Oprah and her jury folks quickly deliver a guilty verdict, and there is show on next week with her and the jurors.sheesh.check outhttp://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,10501776%5E2902,00.html and no, am NOT a closet Oprah fan. Just get delirious when I predict something and it comes true (well that’s true of Cricket matches too, but the Cricket Police around me have issued a shut-up policy on that). Oh.And war dance stops. All Windows XP users wriggle toes please. Windows haters look away. SP2 has been all over the news about some serious bugs and suchlike. Self is a newly converted XP user (and loving it. the moviemaker is addictive!!) and not really sure what all the hungama is about -haven’t got my SP2 update info yet, they are apparently sending it outdo all in the next two months. But this link should give an idea on what’s up with SP2. http://www.eweek.com/article2/0,1759,1637696,00.asp Fell asleep watching the Olympics yesterday nite, but do know that the U.S is leading in terms of medals etc.check out the latest athttp://g.msn.com/0US!s5.31472_315529/18.a7736/17??cm=leftnav1 But do know that 5 weightlifters tested positive for drugs. Is it that the laws are more stringent or are athletes doping themselves out? I do know everything is stricter in Olympics these days - nobody gets a10 and no-blogging policies are abundant. A crazy thing I noticed though. Was working at home yesterday (yeah right is an illegal response -issued by language police) and hear the weather report. Woman proceeds to inform of weather on Wednesday afternoon about weather of wed afternoon in Greece. Funny, coz its Wed night in Greece already! Ah, but you don’t see...we hear of the past weather in Greece coz we get replays. So the idea is smtg like this.here is the weather in Greece wed afternoon, though its wed nitein Greece now, you see this coz you will see the wed afternoon replayson wed nite your time...she ACTUALLY said that!! (Proceed to shut down PC and get out of work claiming you are sick) Speaking of weird news, sisters kill each other's husbands yesterday in Mumbai. If you are really bored, click on http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/html/uncomp/articleshow?msid=819912 though my source finds it appalling, I cannot but remember my schoolplayground.and they say folks mature as they grow old.sheesh! And if you are really onto weird news, check the listinghttp://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index&cid=583 Warning: Providing a news link does not imply that I am addicted to pointless news. I would prefer the term "well-informed" and "impartial information seeker" as terms that refer to me. Or better still, call me Science-girl (Friends fans would know this is Ross’s superhuman cartoon creation - Science boy has a " Super human thirst for knowledge" [proceed to hit head with palm and go sheesh!]) Btw.cricket-crazy fans might consider watching the last few scenes of"Mujse shaadi karogi?”Is loaded with siddhuisms.coz well, hezplaying himself in the last part (another sheesher required here). Waiting for weekend in manner of watching the countdown to new years,

Drunken Bears And Sexist Mail Accounts

2004-08-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

how many stamp-collecters do ya know(YOU were one? no kidding? you sure are STILL a nerd?) however obsolete its gotten with the advent of email,this is the last seal on stamp collecting obsessions.. click on the link below if you want stamps with YOUR photos on them..that right boss..skydiving, baby burping, hangover photos. Beer-drinking, wine sloshed and cocktail tipsy photos. Wedding pictures, new home pictures, new doormat photos (no connection between the wedding and doormat guys)..costs 80c for a 37 c stamp (only in America :-)) and minimum is 20 stamps..here's a bored-already farewell to the hobby of stamp-collecting...salut'!
http://photo.stamps.com/
Neat story..of losses to the Giant Microsoft coz of a shade of green...How Microsoft had to ship back products from India coz of a curious shade of Green on Kashmir of the India map..and other stories..
http://news.com.com/How+eight+pixels+cost+Microsoft+millions/2100-1014_3-5316664.html?tag=nefd.pop
(Note: Microsoft Engineers are taking up Geography classes now.go ahead with the sheesher after reading the above article)
Beer drinker unite (and sing the beer song!! you don't know it? tsk tsk..must be a w(h)iner then). We have conquered and sloshed the animal kingdom as of now. check the link below to learn about a comrade bear (they one of us now) who couldnt bear a beer!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5756809/?GT1=4529
For all those who fantasize about a life where you didnt need to calculate the mileage, change, insurance, salaries or anything at all. As also for those who blinked wildly at the thought of calculating how many onion naans and how many butter naans at a dinner table. Please stand up and move to world at the Amazon rivers. Here lives a community who laugh at being asked wots 1 + 1. Coz they dont have numbers in the community. Zilch.Nada.Zero (ooops..will they understand that?).check it out at.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20040820/NUMBERS20/TPScience/life without numbers
Cricket and Tennis come together for the first time. Not a great news item for die-hard fans of the former. Cricketer Sachin has a Tennis Elbow. Never thought would see two sports like that in one headline, but here goes.. The curses may begin now.http://news.com.com/Google+makes+its+market+debut/2009-1030_3-5313371.html?tag=nefd.ledetennis elbow sachin
Hotmail lovers look away. Here's five top reasons someone (wink wink) doesnt like hotmail.
1) Sexism..Hotmail is the only mail account that informs you that "theuser xyz@yahoo.com is over HIS storage limit.hmph
2) opens links within hotmail browser - its like an overzealous mom.youare incapable of opening that link yourself, so i will put it in ahotmail browser and thus ensure that It exasperates you to death withthe "your message has been idle for too long" message.Bah!
3) UI stinks. You could be typing furiously to see that it been in the"To" address bar. and god forbid you want to include HTML format toyour mail- by the time you type and click on send, you might as wellhave done a postal delivery.
4) however I hate mails from my pesky cousin and lecturing mom, I DO notconsider them junk (pssst -mom is cced on this mail ;-) )..Like isaid, hotmail is like my mom who decides anything she didnt cook isntworth eating. Hotmail decides anything from a non-hotmail Id isusually junk.
5) They are soooo passe, always doing stuff when everyone else has thought and implemented great ideas.like mailbox space.sheesh!

Tomorrow is..(blink blink)

2004-08-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

August 1 — Sport's Day
August 2 — National Friendship Day
August 3 — National Watermelon Day
August 4 — National Sisters Day
August 5 — Picnic Day
August 6 — National Fresh Breath Day
August 7 — Raspberries and Cream Day
August 8 — National Admit You're Happy Day
August 10 — Garage Sale Day
August 11 — National Kool-Aid Days
August 13 — National Left-handers Day
August 14 — National Financial Awareness Day
August 15 — National Relaxation Day
August 16 — Joke Day
August 17 — Pencil Day
August 18 — Bad Poetry Day
August 19 — National Aviation Day
August 20 — National Radio Day
August 20 — The Moon's Birthday
August 21 — Crazy Day
August 22 — Be An Angel Day
August 24 — Strange Music Day
August 25 — Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
August 26 — National Make Your Own Lucky Day Day
August 28 — National Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
August 29 — More Herbs and Less Salt Day
August 30 — National Toasted Marshmallow Day
August 31 — National Box Car Day

post-mortem

2004-08-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

You: Snigger Snigger
Me: Mutter mutter

yeah..i DID pay money to watch the village - spent more time waiting for a refund than at the theatre, I can tell you that!
In hindsight, the movie could've worked if was played in the theatre in reverse. There are formulas of scary movies that shouldnt be messed around with - they should be left just so.
Had just settled into seat and had finally taken control of popcorn when lo and behold! titles appear.. I laugh encouragingly - horror movie..get it? whats more horrorsome than the titles when the movie should be picking up speed and is off at full-throttle towards climax?
So I sit and snigger at those who leave the theatre murmering -bah, what would they know of modern horror movies. I soon am escorted out in shameful disgrace - apparently was in the way of the cleaning crew who were instructed to clean the place AFTER THE MOVIE ENDED! refund idea was laughed upon by management - didnt help when I pointed out that I was cheated out of a scary movie. But then M.night shyamalan did what I always wanted to -sell a packet of nothing..

Think about it - there is no rule that forbids me from selling a packet of nothing. For fancy effects i could fill it up with air, but is basically nothing inside. So here we have a fancy wrapper, with kids and cartoons or sexy women depending on my target audience (am market savvy mind you). Packet can open like a milk carton, or like a chips packet, depending on if you got the regular or special variant. But the final effect remains the same - there is nothing in the packet. No rule against doing this is there, and i dont exactly fool the audience. If my wrapper says there is zero fat and zero carbs inside- is nothing but the wholesome truth.
Hell, I could even have a website promoting the product's future launches - scented air filled in it instead of plain air. The buyer shall purchase a packet (Warning: open pack for contents), proceed to reach in for contents, gaze in puzzlement at empty packet. Then he (in my feminist sense, women dont experiment with unknown products like so) shall turn it upside down, realize the fraud, laugh appreciatively at sense of humor and proceed to throw it in the garbage. A second scenario could also be that he purchases many more with the wrong assumption that he recieved a faulty product. Either way, he buys the first packet - leading me to a well-earned profit for a quirky sense of humor and business. In an idiotic world, he would return for any other product by my company - the same as one shall return for M.night's next movie. In an idiotic world, my friend, in an idiotic world.

Well, reunion with friends was eventful. Heard about paranormal experiences with the utmost solemn interest. Lesson learnt: If one were to speak to one's deceased parent via a communicator (read: possessed human) one shall oversee fact that one speaks to one's father in a language that father doth not understand. For simpler story, read on.

Atsuko believes in the paranormal. Snigger on as you may, raise that untrimmed eyebrow if you wish, but that is the truth. The earlier you accept it without pointless debates, the easier for me to continue the story. Thank you. So the lady hops along lah-dee-dah to San Diego for an encounter of the paranormal kind. I dont know how one approaches this dainty task though. Does one say " I wish to speak umm..to a paranormal person" ? In anycase, she enters a swanky home to speak to Mother Donna (names changed to protect identity - whose identity though? hers or her paranormal business partners? hush hush) So atsuko proceeds to speak to a heavily middle-eastern accented eeeebraheeem. He proceeds to tell her, in her own words, answers to what she wanted to ask! Hallelujah, you say? Caution - he does not answer questions that he knows you dont want really want to ask. Questions such as - how many marbles in my pocket or how many cops waiting outside to nab you. HUSSSSHHHH i say!!

To proceed on - she expresses wish to speak to her father -a japanese dead person. "yessssss" assures mother donna. Except when father dearest begins to speak, is in heavily japanese accented english. "It was a bit strange" atsuko admitted to us later "he answered in a strangely tibetian accented english". Alla and me exchange sly looks, but Julia gives us the stern eye to comfort her "but tibet is somewhere near japan, eeesnt it" she asks. "it might as well be" replies geo-challenged atusko "but dad cannot speak english". Alla and me continue to smother ourselves from giggling as julia comforts her the way only she can "oh atsukooo..dont worry, maybe poppa wants you to learn better english"...Atsuko nods wisely as she totters off..NOW can i snigger???

paranormally

hushhhh....

Eureka!Eureka!

2004-07-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Thats me rediscovering my blogspot..have been educating self on what the world thinks of bloggers..and not very pleased with what I read..hmph. Rebel on bloggers!

Finally..folks DO believe Instant Messenger is useful (MSN invested huge greenies in it last week).. I find the whole idea behind the IM rather Zany (noun. Extremely cool and fun.) Thank you for whole-hearted applause. Especially the Yahoo Messenger. The smileys are just unbelievably funny.. Call it my new hobby if you will, but if a messenger allows me to listen to love songs while i play a silly game of cards with my mom,it is a notch above even Zany (noun. The highest form of praise in the blogger dictionary). Anyways..discoveries of the past week.

1) rediscovering Bourne - part. two is plain mindblowing. Damn the critics. Really, if it is a possible action, damn them. Has all the effects needed for a spy movie and it ROCKS!

2) Hearing crazy things about the village..apparently the demons the villagers are scared of are industries and construction crews.hm...i pay 8$ for this?

3) Blogmania. from DNC to product launches. Well, smtg like this was bound to happen wasnt it. We had Internet, then mail, then IM (loyalty rolls on)..then the public had zilch to jump around for. Larger mailboxes, yaaawwnn... its like the discovery of fridge Vs. Large fridges. Who cares anymore? but blogging is definitely a phenomenon. Blogging 101 in universities, blogger moms and blogging conventions. Will be damned if am not into this early. Then can proceed to preen about life-long blogging talent when am 45. Zany as it may seem (Zany. Noun. crazy,illogical or blind sheep phenomenon).

4) waistlines - woeful discovery of the week. waistline remains at a puppy fattish 28 only to grow to 30 by lunchtime. Scientific fact that waistlines balloon during the day (when i shall wear tight jeans that pop out buttons like popcorn by lunchtime). hmph..how Zany is that (Zany. undependable. untrustable).

Oh well..got an exciting week coming up.lets see now. Therez the school reunion tonite at a coffee shop (with a guaranteed "thou shalt be lost" address by Atsuko). Tomorrow shall relaunch ditched website project. Doc apintment on Friday. YUCK..absolutely definite blogging on THAT day...

Zanycally yours

of Golf-widows and Esthers

2004-07-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Two terms i came across this week...after a mind-numbing task of deciding which one to attack first, have placed my gifted criticism priority on the former, so here goes.

Golf-widows..a rather pathetic term but apparently one who qualifies is J-Lo. Marc Anthony is addicted to golf and the damsel in distress took out enough time to pouteth her lips and sulk about it before she went back to count her fast-depleting money.But seriously, could there be a more self-congratulatory term ever? I mean, this is a sport where the aim is "not to make a fool of yourself". not funny, is the serious truth. Its the kind of sport that one would indulge in, and the rest of the folks around him would go "WHY do you do this to yourself". kinda like waxing and threading that babes subject themselves too (of course..the women who DO wax and thread before their weekly round of golf come across as a psycologically interesting catergory of 'pain lovers')...This is a game where factors do not end at sports skills and weather conditions and calamities such as untied shoe-laces. Oh no siree..It is a game where the factors could include any or all of the following

1) curious rabbits
2) hungry deer
3) frost, dew, insects or any such thing existing in the grass
4)crabs in the sand

Apart from including half of the animal species as considerable factors, one would be required to have a hand-held weather device to indicate wind, snow, sun, wind direction or any such calamities that might decrease the chances of hitting a hole in one.

Inspite of all this, no self-proclaimed golfer could ever say he comes home with a satisfactory golf experience. It takes no less than 6 hours of carting around a golf course to achieve a satisfactory level of frustration before you consider yourself done for the day. Thats right, carting around.God forbid you are caught walking around - fancy gadgets that push your clubs for you to carts that you can around jiggling in are a part of the experience. snort!! give me good ole waxing anyday. and yeah, throw in a bit of the threading and tweezing too

and WHY would anyone call herself Esther? THERE IS A CHEMICAL ALMOST LIKE THAT NAME ALREADY!!not that madonna was an original name, but if you do wish to switch names, leave chemistry labs and medicines out of it please. Though, it does bring up an interesting option. WHAT would you change your name to? would you change it to smtg that reflects your personality? I would find a whole lot of folks calling themselves pretty and kind walking around then..Me? i would change it to smtg like medussa (during bad hair days atleast) or medulla oblongata (when at my brainiest best) or muddled (a default name)

I would certainly choose smtg that means BAD..that way when i am nice, nobody's complaining..they are only pleasantly surprised...

Anti-golfically yours
Medusa muddled Medulla
(muddled is my middle name)

Blogger Utopia?pish-posh

2004-07-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

hmm..am supposed to be knee-deep with responses to my blog by now according to my "Despo's guide to blogging" (despo meaning desperate not despodent though lack of resposes invoke similar reactions in self).

Read an interesting article on blogging though
(http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,64088,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_4)
in the time i managed to switch (am self-proclaimed Alt + Tab Queen) to another browser window.

Apparently, blogging takes the life out of bloggers and is considered an ego stroking exercise. hmm.now why would that be? This is exactly the kind of articles that prompt penniless authors to become penniful by writing books such as 'The new social evil of blogging' that goes onto proclaim blogging as a potential threat to productive employees. Then companies can pass resolutions to ban employee blogging, thus making it more tempting for them to bog on the sly - thus making blogsites more successful by the day. Its all a conspiracy i tell you, I didnt watch the Matrix for nothing. Some conspiracies I have noted though:

1) notice how everyone thinks that 'time flies'? Is an international dateline conspiracy. Time IS moving fast, someone up there is spinning the hands right off the clock.

2) How you see ads for hives by Tylenol, and then actually get hives on self? unless therez a psychological implication there, i bet someone is spreading the hives virus coz tylenol made a pill for it.

suspiciously yours

conspiratino

A fine day to start blogging

2004-07-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning 9:20 A.M

Laundry merrily hopping in the washing machine.phew!

Whats the deal with laundering? ( i speak entirely in the garment sense here). I pretend its a huge chore that hangs above my head - fact is, it takes three minutes of my precious time to do it.dump, pour and click cycle.Ah, but wherez the joy of moping if i do it when i should? A pal calling inevitably gets the huge sigh "I have TONS of laundry to do". Like i actually sort and bleach and color them right anyways.pshaw!

Eeeks..my first blog and i already complain.hmm..my first blog inspite of reading the nanny diaries and the broke diaries. For the talent scouts reading this out there, I can do much better than this, i swear. For all the pals obligated to read this, skip it. There's no gossip here, neither anything I havent already told you about. Just tell me its a great first blog when you meet me. For the rest, WHY?

Fact is, am terrified of blogging. Kinda reminds me of interviewing. You can talk till your pals scream blue murder, but put you in an interview and your throat goes dry, palms go cold ( i know they popularly sweat, but mine are different) and the loo suddenly seems inviting. Same thing with blogging methinks. I can write pages and pages in MS-Word (with pretty fonts and backgrounds) but put me into a blog and the mind freezes. Questions pop from various unknown areas of the mind "will they like me" "do i sound cool and confident" "Do i sound smart" " Am i ranting too much" "why are they even reading this?".

Oh well. I promised to blog and i shall. oooh.also,I promised to dedicate my first blog to the co-founder of the "ya ya sisterhood" (trust me, we are the originals). So herez to dhana and our sisterhood. As also an ode to the "giggling goats guide to the galaxy" -our long pending guide to insane living.

Weeelll..that wasnt so bad was it? I raved, reflected and dedicated. Hurrah for my first blog!

Adios,

A freshly laundered me.