Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Monday, August 30, 2004

There is no such thing as a free lunch

Thank ye all for the huge number of entries to my quiz...the winner is Arvinder!!applauseee!! for those with no clue on wot me speaks of, hmph to ya ..read my blogs better will you?
Today's quiz question to ya..
Since when is Xerox sponsoring Olympic Games?
1998 Winter olympics, 1982 Olympics or 1964?

post your responses on perpetualmisfit.blogspot.com

Speaking of posting stuff, I've been taken. I unashamedly admit I have. The greed of an iPod made me do it. and bad journalism. Wired news(http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,64614,00.html) picked up the story on www.freeIpods.com sometime last week, proclaiming it legitimate. So i fall, not hook-line and sinker as am anti-fish, but definitely fell to the click-lure.
The hitch (which wired news failed to report. Snort!) is that you gotta get 5 pals to sign up for deals that include columbiahouse kinda scammy disasters. Bah! also intensly dislike co-worker who preens his free iPod. Sniff, but still..am getting 5 free DVDs (umm..and gotta buy 4 more in the next year to exit from their painful deal) so all's well. But do plan to fight it, methinks impulse is a valid defense in the court of law. and while i am rewriting laws, add hormones to the list as well.

I truly think Seinfeld is a visionary of sorts. He inspires inventions, episode by episode. Who remembers the one with George's oversized wallet that makes him sit lopsided? the one that is bursting with stuff that even a tiny bit of paper has no place in it? for a more local comparison, look at Sunder's wallet(he has started writing ON the wallet for lack of space)..well, Wired news (yeah yeah i still read them) reports on the coolest thing for guys ever, wallets replaced by cellphones that pay for lunch et al..check out
http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,64778,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_4

I guesss babes cant really trade in handbags for cellphones..and for those guys smirking at the insanity of a babe's purse, Joey and Seinfeld scorn ya from telly-heaven.

Speaking of babes ( my feminist sisters, note below) the directionally challenged, take heart. Atleast you arent a robber in Boston. The fella hops over to a copy shop and attempted to rob it.. the clerk goes 'umm..this aint a bank dude" to which the robber promptly jots down directions to GET to a bank..and then proceeds to the rob the bank..and on and on..
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040831/ap_on_fe_st/bank_bungle&e=2

N.B: Have been told have a strongly feminist streak in my blogs, hence the call to babes on a piece about directionally challenged folks..but then, the robber WAS a guy..hmmm..well that would make guys more ......:-)

These days gmail ads keep me in splits..i mean, REALLY...get Mr.Sarangan's schedule with a note on how hectic it is (interpreted as "stop cribbing about my travel already") and gmail promptly puts up ads for yoga classes on the side...my dinner invites automatically generate ads for umm..recipes (is that ad-sense or perceptiveness?) and plans to visit a national park nearby prompts ads for news on bear-maulings in national parks..hmm..did i really wanna see THAT one now?
and no, this isnt a plug for gmail.

Unplugged,
Sapna

Rocking New Challenges

Rocking New Challenges or Republican National Convention - what's the difference? Am taking a fairly cheap delight at the ingeniouness of the protestors at the RNC, right from mis-directing republicans to the outskirts of New Jersey to giving the prez the pink slip (as in a piece of attire in the color pink, not its metaphorical step-sister that nobody likes)

btw..'metaphors' are passe people, WISIWIM (what i say is what i mean) is the new lingo. In any case, the true WISIWIM of the protestors at http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&q=protestors+at+RNC

On the other side of the world, Indian politics are discovering brand power finally - faithful democrats can buy bottles of ketchup to support their cause, but good ole indian way goes that wee bit of a step further - a restaurant for the new brand-power Laloo thats the hit of the luck-city (as in Lucknow, not Las Vegas..duh!)
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/7242_955790,00180007.htm

Rakshabandhan is getting done this week, my loot is safely deposited in my kitchen (yeah, someone was kind enough to gift me a 12-pack for the festivities..hurrah for perceptive brothers) - but i digress, anyone checked out desi sites for gifts lately? man, they rock..send a rakhi with rice and a mithai for $3 delivered almost pronto at bro's doorstep - a suggestion though, how about a service that includes the rakhi police that watches out for bro's who sneakily take off rakhis before heading out? i mean, whats the point? Rakhi was the innovative invention of disgruntled sisters people.(Do not protest.Is the truth). Sisters got sic of being whacked on the heads and having to dress up for festivals when brothers frolicked around. What better way for a woman's scorn than a devious festival? A forehead smeared with color, enough rice on the head to attract the roaches and a painfully embarassing rakhi to skulk around in..Revenge!!
Of course, these arent my thoughts..I truly believe in Rakhi and the powers of good wishes et al (angelic smile).

Olympics are over -enjoyed them enormously. Didnt catch the closing ceremony, but was quite content with the way Greece handled things - The Barcelona ripple effect sure better be replicated in Athens! Our Indians came back with myriad excuses for bad performances including air-pollution (wha??) wind condition, shoe problems (yeah, Bata ought to be sued methinks, they cost us the Olympics).http://us.rediff.com/sports/2004/aug/30oly-ind.htm
Dhanraj Pillay retires (he was already planning to) and India slumps back to bad cricket and awful linguistic blends such as hesh-lee (don't even tax yourself on that.Its Monday guys).

For anyone up for a movie this week, therez The Hero, if you liked Crouching tiger kinda movies..Visual Delight or celluloid Valium,pick your opinion.

Starting this week - a daily trivia question for readers. Winner gets a mention and one blog-entry..woohoo..but hey, its a weekday and four days to insanity (oh and a long weekend), so here goes.

In India, Premier automobiles assembled the De Soto and Plymouth cars in association with which company in 1946 -
Ford, Cadillac or Chrysler?

Using my gray cells on a Blue monday,
Leftist Sapna



Friday, August 20, 2004

Of talk-show Jurors and discounted caskets

I sincerely try to stay away from Entertainment news (snigger snigger), unless of course its Aby Baby who I shall diligently cover to assure Sunder I strongly support him. But this one warranted some thinking. Lets say you murdered someone and were arrested (BOINK!! Batman-on-TV style wakeup), there are two people you don’t want on the Jury. Your mother. And yeah, her analog, Oprah Winfrey. Well, the latter just happened to be selected on a jury for a murder trial, a trial that she hopes ends ASAP coz she has commitments (production, talk show, counting billions of dollars, you know, the usual). Nothing worth writing home about (or to bored pals either) but this spawns two important questions 1) Why she was selected in the first place. Not to say most jurors aren’t dying to get out of jury duty themselves, but a person who is quite vocal about wanting to get out of it sooner than soon, and probably is plotting a show centered around the victim/murderer isnt one you want on the jury. A publicity stunt you think? Or am I being ultra cynical here? 2) Also notice that you don’t hear much of celebrities on jury duty (and you WOULD hear about it, considering you hear about their broken nails even). Therez a reason methinks. Celebrities bring with them the pressures, media and hype that judges probably really don’t want in a case (as would the accused, imagine jostling for coverage with a J-LO) anyway, check it out at.http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=peopleNews&storyID=5989566 Now starts the arm-exercise routine. All Costco members raise your hands. There, I count three already, or is that 13? (Wink wink, I know who all, pile on big time to get stuff from there). Am hardly a die-hard fan of Costco (go on. call me shameless) but its useful with a CAPITAL U.But their latest mass offering is kind of, umm...dead :-) Costco is offering cheap (and probably dozens for a deal) of.... CASKETS...EEEKS!! Check it out at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5730441/ Free that hand for the next question. How many are Indian Software professionals in the U.S? (No need to raise both hands, I get it). Visa issues, accent issues, cuisine issues and attitude issues. Manners issues, dressing issues, legal issues and boss issues. Nope, not starting Indian professionals in the U.S forum (nor am I creating their anthem). But if you are nodding sagely remembering curious and weird situations Indian engineers have been in, check out http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/818169.cms have been intently following AT&T ads on the Telly during Olympics. Apparently AT&T has banished their landline ads forever. And are allover the place talking about their VOIP.The USP that I love? Do not disturb function...comes so handy when you get that 5:30 AM call from mom telling you the tomatoes are growing splendidly. And doesn’t even feel bad about waking up folks at godforsaken timings (umm.or is that just my mom?). Anyways, the function helps you set a message that CAN go "mom! DONT call me at this time. I am sleeping" with an option of letting the call go through if super-urgent.snoreeeee.also cheaper phone bills folks! Rejoice with VOIP!http://www.technewsworld.com/story/35863.html Also, if you are one of the folks who are super excited at American Indians doing great, Mohini Bharadwaj was on the balanced beam for the U.S team at gymnastics and ended with a 9.4 and a 9.1 on the floor (as in floor routine, she didn’t fall onto the floor!). U.S ended with silver in women gymnastics. But hey, desi name, rediff is sure to pick it as a huge India-boosting exercise.jeez! India won silver btw. Wohoo!! Check rediff Olympics coverage atwww.rediff.com/olympics.

Science Girl to the rescue

Trumpets!!! What did I tell ya? (War dance commences). Oprah and her jury folks quickly deliver a guilty verdict, and there is show on next week with her and the jurors.sheesh.check outhttp://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,10501776%5E2902,00.html and no, am NOT a closet Oprah fan. Just get delirious when I predict something and it comes true (well that’s true of Cricket matches too, but the Cricket Police around me have issued a shut-up policy on that). Oh.And war dance stops. All Windows XP users wriggle toes please. Windows haters look away. SP2 has been all over the news about some serious bugs and suchlike. Self is a newly converted XP user (and loving it. the moviemaker is addictive!!) and not really sure what all the hungama is about -haven’t got my SP2 update info yet, they are apparently sending it outdo all in the next two months. But this link should give an idea on what’s up with SP2. http://www.eweek.com/article2/0,1759,1637696,00.asp Fell asleep watching the Olympics yesterday nite, but do know that the U.S is leading in terms of medals etc.check out the latest athttp://g.msn.com/0US!s5.31472_315529/18.a7736/17??cm=leftnav1 But do know that 5 weightlifters tested positive for drugs. Is it that the laws are more stringent or are athletes doping themselves out? I do know everything is stricter in Olympics these days - nobody gets a10 and no-blogging policies are abundant. A crazy thing I noticed though. Was working at home yesterday (yeah right is an illegal response -issued by language police) and hear the weather report. Woman proceeds to inform of weather on Wednesday afternoon about weather of wed afternoon in Greece. Funny, coz its Wed night in Greece already! Ah, but you don’t see...we hear of the past weather in Greece coz we get replays. So the idea is smtg like this.here is the weather in Greece wed afternoon, though its wed nitein Greece now, you see this coz you will see the wed afternoon replayson wed nite your time...she ACTUALLY said that!! (Proceed to shut down PC and get out of work claiming you are sick) Speaking of weird news, sisters kill each other's husbands yesterday in Mumbai. If you are really bored, click on http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/html/uncomp/articleshow?msid=819912 though my source finds it appalling, I cannot but remember my schoolplayground.and they say folks mature as they grow old.sheesh! And if you are really onto weird news, check the listinghttp://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index&cid=583 Warning: Providing a news link does not imply that I am addicted to pointless news. I would prefer the term "well-informed" and "impartial information seeker" as terms that refer to me. Or better still, call me Science-girl (Friends fans would know this is Ross’s superhuman cartoon creation - Science boy has a " Super human thirst for knowledge" [proceed to hit head with palm and go sheesh!]) Btw.cricket-crazy fans might consider watching the last few scenes of"Mujse shaadi karogi?”Is loaded with siddhuisms.coz well, hezplaying himself in the last part (another sheesher required here). Waiting for weekend in manner of watching the countdown to new years,

Drunken Bears And Sexist Mail Accounts

how many stamp-collecters do ya know(YOU were one? no kidding? you sure are STILL a nerd?) however obsolete its gotten with the advent of email,this is the last seal on stamp collecting obsessions.. click on the link below if you want stamps with YOUR photos on them..that right boss..skydiving, baby burping, hangover photos. Beer-drinking, wine sloshed and cocktail tipsy photos. Wedding pictures, new home pictures, new doormat photos (no connection between the wedding and doormat guys)..costs 80c for a 37 c stamp (only in America :-)) and minimum is 20 stamps..here's a bored-already farewell to the hobby of stamp-collecting...salut'!
http://photo.stamps.com/
Neat story..of losses to the Giant Microsoft coz of a shade of green...How Microsoft had to ship back products from India coz of a curious shade of Green on Kashmir of the India map..and other stories..
http://news.com.com/How+eight+pixels+cost+Microsoft+millions/2100-1014_3-5316664.html?tag=nefd.pop
(Note: Microsoft Engineers are taking up Geography classes now.go ahead with the sheesher after reading the above article)
Beer drinker unite (and sing the beer song!! you don't know it? tsk tsk..must be a w(h)iner then). We have conquered and sloshed the animal kingdom as of now. check the link below to learn about a comrade bear (they one of us now) who couldnt bear a beer!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5756809/?GT1=4529
For all those who fantasize about a life where you didnt need to calculate the mileage, change, insurance, salaries or anything at all. As also for those who blinked wildly at the thought of calculating how many onion naans and how many butter naans at a dinner table. Please stand up and move to world at the Amazon rivers. Here lives a community who laugh at being asked wots 1 + 1. Coz they dont have numbers in the community. Zilch.Nada.Zero (ooops..will they understand that?).check it out at.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20040820/NUMBERS20/TPScience/life without numbers
Cricket and Tennis come together for the first time. Not a great news item for die-hard fans of the former. Cricketer Sachin has a Tennis Elbow. Never thought would see two sports like that in one headline, but here goes.. The curses may begin now.http://news.com.com/Google+makes+its+market+debut/2009-1030_3-5313371.html?tag=nefd.ledetennis elbow sachin
Hotmail lovers look away. Here's five top reasons someone (wink wink) doesnt like hotmail.
1) Sexism..Hotmail is the only mail account that informs you that "theuser xyz@yahoo.com is over HIS storage limit.hmph
2) opens links within hotmail browser - its like an overzealous mom.youare incapable of opening that link yourself, so i will put it in ahotmail browser and thus ensure that It exasperates you to death withthe "your message has been idle for too long" message.Bah!
3) UI stinks. You could be typing furiously to see that it been in the"To" address bar. and god forbid you want to include HTML format toyour mail- by the time you type and click on send, you might as wellhave done a postal delivery.
4) however I hate mails from my pesky cousin and lecturing mom, I DO notconsider them junk (pssst -mom is cced on this mail ;-) )..Like isaid, hotmail is like my mom who decides anything she didnt cook isntworth eating. Hotmail decides anything from a non-hotmail Id isusually junk.
5) They are soooo passe, always doing stuff when everyone else has thought and implemented great ideas.like mailbox space.sheesh!

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Tomorrow is..(blink blink)

August 1 — Sport's Day
August 2 — National Friendship Day
August 3 — National Watermelon Day
August 4 — National Sisters Day
August 5 — Picnic Day
August 6 — National Fresh Breath Day
August 7 — Raspberries and Cream Day
August 8 — National Admit You're Happy Day
August 10 — Garage Sale Day
August 11 — National Kool-Aid Days
August 13 — National Left-handers Day
August 14 — National Financial Awareness Day
August 15 — National Relaxation Day
August 16 — Joke Day
August 17 — Pencil Day
August 18 — Bad Poetry Day
August 19 — National Aviation Day
August 20 — National Radio Day
August 20 — The Moon's Birthday
August 21 — Crazy Day
August 22 — Be An Angel Day
August 24 — Strange Music Day
August 25 — Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
August 26 — National Make Your Own Lucky Day Day
August 28 — National Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
August 29 — More Herbs and Less Salt Day
August 30 — National Toasted Marshmallow Day
August 31 — National Box Car Day

post-mortem

You: Snigger Snigger
Me: Mutter mutter

yeah..i DID pay money to watch the village - spent more time waiting for a refund than at the theatre, I can tell you that!
In hindsight, the movie could've worked if was played in the theatre in reverse. There are formulas of scary movies that shouldnt be messed around with - they should be left just so.
Had just settled into seat and had finally taken control of popcorn when lo and behold! titles appear.. I laugh encouragingly - horror movie..get it? whats more horrorsome than the titles when the movie should be picking up speed and is off at full-throttle towards climax?
So I sit and snigger at those who leave the theatre murmering -bah, what would they know of modern horror movies. I soon am escorted out in shameful disgrace - apparently was in the way of the cleaning crew who were instructed to clean the place AFTER THE MOVIE ENDED! refund idea was laughed upon by management - didnt help when I pointed out that I was cheated out of a scary movie. But then M.night shyamalan did what I always wanted to -sell a packet of nothing..

Think about it - there is no rule that forbids me from selling a packet of nothing. For fancy effects i could fill it up with air, but is basically nothing inside. So here we have a fancy wrapper, with kids and cartoons or sexy women depending on my target audience (am market savvy mind you). Packet can open like a milk carton, or like a chips packet, depending on if you got the regular or special variant. But the final effect remains the same - there is nothing in the packet. No rule against doing this is there, and i dont exactly fool the audience. If my wrapper says there is zero fat and zero carbs inside- is nothing but the wholesome truth.
Hell, I could even have a website promoting the product's future launches - scented air filled in it instead of plain air. The buyer shall purchase a packet (Warning: open pack for contents), proceed to reach in for contents, gaze in puzzlement at empty packet. Then he (in my feminist sense, women dont experiment with unknown products like so) shall turn it upside down, realize the fraud, laugh appreciatively at sense of humor and proceed to throw it in the garbage. A second scenario could also be that he purchases many more with the wrong assumption that he recieved a faulty product. Either way, he buys the first packet - leading me to a well-earned profit for a quirky sense of humor and business. In an idiotic world, he would return for any other product by my company - the same as one shall return for M.night's next movie. In an idiotic world, my friend, in an idiotic world.


Well, reunion with friends was eventful. Heard about paranormal experiences with the utmost solemn interest. Lesson learnt: If one were to speak to one's deceased parent via a communicator (read: possessed human) one shall oversee fact that one speaks to one's father in a language that father doth not understand. For simpler story, read on.

Atsuko believes in the paranormal. Snigger on as you may, raise that untrimmed eyebrow if you wish, but that is the truth. The earlier you accept it without pointless debates, the easier for me to continue the story. Thank you. So the lady hops along lah-dee-dah to San Diego for an encounter of the paranormal kind. I dont know how one approaches this dainty task though. Does one say " I wish to speak umm..to a paranormal person" ? In anycase, she enters a swanky home to speak to Mother Donna (names changed to protect identity - whose identity though? hers or her paranormal business partners? hush hush) So atsuko proceeds to speak to a heavily middle-eastern accented eeeebraheeem. He proceeds to tell her, in her own words, answers to what she wanted to ask! Hallelujah, you say? Caution - he does not answer questions that he knows you dont want really want to ask. Questions such as - how many marbles in my pocket or how many cops waiting outside to nab you. HUSSSSHHHH i say!!

To proceed on - she expresses wish to speak to her father -a japanese dead person. "yessssss" assures mother donna. Except when father dearest begins to speak, is in heavily japanese accented english. "It was a bit strange" atsuko admitted to us later "he answered in a strangely tibetian accented english". Alla and me exchange sly looks, but Julia gives us the stern eye to comfort her "but tibet is somewhere near japan, eeesnt it" she asks. "it might as well be" replies geo-challenged atusko "but dad cannot speak english". Alla and me continue to smother ourselves from giggling as julia comforts her the way only she can "oh atsukooo..dont worry, maybe poppa wants you to learn better english"...Atsuko nods wisely as she totters off..NOW can i snigger???


paranormally

hushhhh....