Friday, July 09, 2004

of Golf-widows and Esthers

Two terms i came across this week...after a mind-numbing task of deciding which one to attack first, have placed my gifted criticism priority on the former, so here goes.

Golf-widows..a rather pathetic term but apparently one who qualifies is J-Lo. Marc Anthony is addicted to golf and the damsel in distress took out enough time to pouteth her lips and sulk about it before she went back to count her fast-depleting money.But seriously, could there be a more self-congratulatory term ever? I mean, this is a sport where the aim is "not to make a fool of yourself". not funny, is the serious truth. Its the kind of sport that one would indulge in, and the rest of the folks around him would go "WHY do you do this to yourself". kinda like waxing and threading that babes subject themselves too (of course..the women who DO wax and thread before their weekly round of golf come across as a psycologically interesting catergory of 'pain lovers')...This is a game where factors do not end at sports skills and weather conditions and calamities such as untied shoe-laces. Oh no siree..It is a game where the factors could include any or all of the following

1) curious rabbits
2) hungry deer
3) frost, dew, insects or any such thing existing in the grass
4)crabs in the sand

Apart from including half of the animal species as considerable factors, one would be required to have a hand-held weather device to indicate wind, snow, sun, wind direction or any such calamities that might decrease the chances of hitting a hole in one.

Inspite of all this, no self-proclaimed golfer could ever say he comes home with a satisfactory golf experience. It takes no less than 6 hours of carting around a golf course to achieve a satisfactory level of frustration before you consider yourself done for the day. Thats right, carting around.God forbid you are caught walking around - fancy gadgets that push your clubs for you to carts that you can around jiggling in are a part of the experience. snort!! give me good ole waxing anyday. and yeah, throw in a bit of the threading and tweezing too

and WHY would anyone call herself Esther? THERE IS A CHEMICAL ALMOST LIKE THAT NAME ALREADY!!not that madonna was an original name, but if you do wish to switch names, leave chemistry labs and medicines out of it please. Though, it does bring up an interesting option. WHAT would you change your name to? would you change it to smtg that reflects your personality? I would find a whole lot of folks calling themselves pretty and kind walking around then..Me? i would change it to smtg like medussa (during bad hair days atleast) or medulla oblongata (when at my brainiest best) or muddled (a default name)

I would certainly choose smtg that means BAD..that way when i am nice, nobody's complaining..they are only pleasantly surprised...

Anti-golfically yours
Medusa muddled Medulla
(muddled is my middle name)

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